How often should a priest be visiting?

[SalesianSDB]

I’ll try to make this short (and forgive me if this is the wrong subforum to put this in).

My mother has been in a vegetative state for six and a half years. When she first entered that state the entire immediate family was practicing (though we were all much younger so we went because our parents took us) and priests visited her in the hospital every so often.

Now six and a half years later, out of my father and 2 other siblings, I am the only one who still attends Mass regularly. I just moved back to my hometown and yesterday while speaking to someone at my new parish he suggested a priest come visit daily. Now, while daily may sound excessive, it got me thinking about asking a priest to visit somewhat regularly.

The issue is since I no longer live at home (where my mother has a room with nurses), would it be alright to seek a priest? How would I ask my father about this? I can imagine his only objections being:

She already received anointing of the sick and was blessed years ago. She can’t receive communion, and she won’t be able to understand what the priest says. So what good would this do?

Should this be something I talk to him about? How can I address the above concerns?

 

[1ke]

I don’t believe daily is in any way realistic.

Your father can ask about a priest coming to visit by calling the local parish. As you have said, she’s been anointed and cannot receive communion.

A priest should be called should her condition change, getting worse or near death.

 

[EasterJoy]

Talk to your parents’ pastor about this situation. He may want to reach out to your father and siblings, who I would say are in need of pastoral care.

By the way, is this the same priest who was pastor when your mother first became ill? If there has been a changing of pastors and your family never contacted the new priest, your mother’s pastor may not even know he has a parishioner in a vegetative state, let alone that her husband and family might be in need of his attention.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

I know priests with elderly parents not in a vegetative state who are lucky to find time to visit them maybe twice a month. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect weekly, let alone daily, visits for someone whose vegetative state hasn’t changed in over six years. Your other family members on the other hand clearly are in need of pastoral care.

 

[pianistclare]

Talk to your parents’ pastor about this situation. He may want to reach out to your father and siblings, who I would say are in need of pastoral care.

By the way, is this the same priest who was pastor when your mother first became ill? If there has been a changing of pastors and your family never contacted the new priest, your mother’s pastor may not even know he has a parishioner in a vegetative state, let alone that her husband and family might be in need of his attention.

This^^^.
The infirmed person is not the only one needing care and ministry.
Will pray for your situation.

 

[FrDavid96]

I’ll try to make this short (and forgive me if this is the wrong subforum to put this in).

My mother has been in a vegetative state for six and a half years. When she first entered that state the entire immediate family was practicing (though we were all much younger so we went because our parents took us) and priests visited her in the hospital every so often.

Now six and a half years later, out of my father and 2 other siblings, I am the only one who still attends Mass regularly. I just moved back to my hometown and yesterday while speaking to someone at my new parish he suggested a priest come visit daily. Now, while daily may sound excessive, it got me thinking about asking a priest to visit somewhat regularly.

The issue is since I no longer live at home (where my mother has a room with nurses), would it be alright to seek a priest? How would I ask my father about this? I can imagine his only objections being:

She already received anointing of the sick and was blessed years ago. She can’t receive communion, and she won’t be able to understand what the priest says. So what good would this do?

Should this be something I talk to him about? How can I address the above concerns?

By all means, contact the local priest.

Explain the situation to the priest and let him take it from there. He knows what he needs to do. First, he needs you to explain the situation to him.

 

[SalesianSDB]

A few months before this happened (about 7 years ago) we moved to a different part of the city and started attending the nearby parish but never bothered registering there and only attended Mass (we never got more involved than that). The parish we were registered at got a new priest about three years ago, so there is no longer any priest in the archdiocese that is familiar with the situation (perhaps other than my grandmother’s pastor).

Since I moved back a couple months ago after graduating college I registered at the nearby parish, but I am a new member and my family had essentially no ties to it. The parish is also one of the larger ones in the archdiocese.

 

[EasterJoy]

A few months before this happened (about 7 years ago) we moved to a different part of the city and started attending the nearby parish but never bothered registering there and only attended Mass (we never got more involved than that). The parish we were registered at got a new priest about three years ago, so there is no longer any priest in the archdiocese that is familiar with the situation (perhaps other than my grandmother’s pastor).

Since I moved back a couple months ago after graduating college I registered at the nearby parish, but I am a new member and my family had essentially no ties to it. The parish is also one of the larger ones in the archdiocese.

Well, you can fix that. If nothing else, I’d say it would be a good idea for you to talk to your dad’s pastor about how to handle the situation with his parishioners and talk to your pastor about any ideas he has, since you are in his care. You could certainly use the support, don’t you think? Then when you talk to your dad (if that is what you decide to do), you’ll have some idea how to go about doing it and what sort of things your parents’ pastor is able to do for the family. The archdiocese may also have a priest who is assigned to be pastor at the nursing facility at which your mother resides, but any of the priests with parishes near it are likely to know who that is.

 

[pianistclare]

A few months before this happened (about 7 years ago) we moved to a different part of the city and started attending the nearby parish but never bothered registering there and only attended Mass (we never got more involved than that). The parish we were registered at got a new priest about three years ago, so there is no longer any priest in the archdiocese that is familiar with the situation (perhaps other than my grandmother’s pastor).

Since I moved back a couple months ago after graduating college I registered at the nearby parish, but I am a new member and my family had essentially no ties to it. The parish is also one of the larger ones in the archdiocese.

Doesn’t matter. At this point, decide on a parish, and go from there. The priest is there to help you and minister to people in need. As Fr. David said, he knows what to do.
GO.

 

[808Catholic]

As you recall, the Catholic Church believes in the sanctity of life in all its stages. Unborn, vegetative, mentally/physically challenged, etc. What good would a priest visiting do? Let’s ask God! Christ cured the deaf, lame, mute, diseased, possessed, hemorrhaging, deformed, and raised the dead. Consult with your pastor/priest. There are more immediate spiritual concerns in your father’s house. God Bless you.

 

[FrDavid96]

A few months before this happened (about 7 years ago) we moved to a different part of the city and started attending the nearby parish but never bothered registering there and only attended Mass (we never got more involved than that). The parish we were registered at got a new priest about three years ago, so there is no longer any priest in the archdiocese that is familiar with the situation (perhaps other than my grandmother’s pastor).

Since I moved back a couple months ago after graduating college I registered at the nearby parish, but I am a new member and my family had essentially no ties to it. The parish is also one of the larger ones in the archdiocese.

This is exactly why parish “registration” is a concept that only confuses the matter. Parish membership is what matters, and that depends on geography. It has nothing to do with registration.

Your mother’s pastor is the pastor of the place where she lives. He is the one responsible for her pastoral care. That’s precisely why you should contact him. I get the fact that he’s unaware of her situation, yet that simply means that someone needs to make him aware. Please do so.

I can say personally, that if this were someone in my parish, I would want the family to contact me immediately.