How old was Mary when she married St. Joseph?

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A thread somewhere in this forum about a Muslim man in his 40’s marrying a 7 year old girl got me thinking about Mary marrying St. Joseph at a young age. Wasn’t she around 14 and he was an older man?

I was wondering what was the purpose of this?
 
Back then, it happened… a lot. Yeah, historically, Mary was said to be only fourteen years of age while Joseph was nearing old age… if not, older.

To us, it’s disturbing. To them, at the time, it was tradition.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
A thread somewhere in this forum about a Muslim man in his 40’s marrying a 7 year old girl got me thinking about Mary marrying St. Joseph at a young age. Wasn’t she around 14 and he was an older man?

I was wondering what was the purpose of this?
Well, the mortality rate was low then; someone living for 40-50 years old was already considered to have lived long lives, which may have necessitated marriage as soon as people reached puberty (incidentally, this custom is still followed in some places in the Middle East today). Another factor may also be the inequality between men and women: for a woman living back then, there was no other available option for her but to marry.

The Bible does not give us at which age people married each other (the minimum age may have varied from time to time), though the rabbis later fixed the minimum age for marriage at twelve years for girls and thirteen for boys.
 
It was normal in the Near East in the First Century for girls to marry at about 15, Christian girls usually a little later but not much, and menarche was usually about 12-14 (compared to 11-13 in the USA nowadays). This was to prevent their becoming pregnant by someone who wouldn’t marry them, and sometimes to ensure the parents had a say in the choice of spouse. Boys married a little later, because their preparation for marriage was longer, since they had to be able to pay for the bride, wedding and often a house to bring her to by the time of the wedding. Joseph was apparently a widower. Because there was not to be sex in their marriage, the normal reluctance to give a girl to such an old man wasn’t there. He married her to keep her safe. A husband then had to defend his wife and children physically or pay someone to do so out of his earnings.
Girls would have married even earlier except for a few problems. One, girls married before they want to be often run. Then they are endangered. Two, early pregnancy and very early sexual activity are harmful and can shorten a girl’s lifespan a lot. Three, a man in those times wouldn’t generally want a wife who didn’t have a lot of skill at textile work and childrearing, and usually other work as well. It took some time to develop such skills. But a girl who wasn’t married by age 18 sometimes ran off with a man unacceptable to her parents. And sometimes she turned up pregnant with no fiance at all.
Under the biological conditions of modern America, if a woman wanted the greatest possible number of children, statistically her best bet would be to marry at 15 and give birth the first time at 16. Earlier childbearing can damage the reproductive system or even kill the young mother, and isn’t as likely to produce children who survive to adulthood, but waiting longer cuts off more reproductive years. It would be a tradeoff. But modern American girls who want babies don’t usually have the option of geting married. In the 1950’s and 1960’s more young girls did get married, some after conceiving their first child, some before. But imagine a world where the ruling people are the ancient Romans, and you live in a colony of Rome. People are poor and oppressed. To get ahead means cozying up to the pagans, which would make you a pariah among your people for life. The life of a simple laborer is almost impossible even for a man. For a woman it’s much tougher. The only disability insurance there is is children. You must have kids – but to have them on your own is both wrong and an economic catastrophe on the farm. If your parents are too old to help you and your kids are too young to help you and you get hurt, you may not eat. It wasn’t a preference but a struggle to survive that made people marry young.🤷
 
Private revelation has revealed that she was about 14 and Joseph was about 18. Also mentioned is that neither were planning to ever marry. Both had already consecrated their virginity to God, making Gabriel’s news to Mary very confusing to her. Of course we are not bound to believe any private revelation.
I have heard that the reason that St. Joseph was depicted as an elderly man is b/c it was easier for people to believe in her perpetual virginity if he looked old(at least that’s what the artists thought).
 
A very old tradition about Mary is that she was pledged to God at an early age. She would have lived and served in the temple until she came of age [modern world, a Jewish girl ‘becomes a woman’ at 13. I don’t know it the standard was the same back then].

After that, it would have been illegal for her to continue living there, or to live with any man who was not a blood realitive [she had none] or a husband.

A non-sexual marriage contract with an older man [possibly one with children in need of a mother] would have allowed her to maintain her vow of chastity while satisfying the law.

This may be why Joseph wasn’t more hurt by her pregnancy-- he certainly would have been dissapointed, but the offense would have primarily between herself and God. It wouldn’t have been the same sort of insult to Joseph as it would be in a more normal [by modern standards] marriage.
 
According to Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich, Mary was about 14 or 15 and Joseph was about 30 years olders than her. This age difference should not be taken as a norm for the faithful, but as a special situation. Joseph needed to be much older in order to have a man with much wisdom and experience to care for and protect the Christ-child and His Mother.
 
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