How should I act with an adulterous co-worker's wife?

[Navychic7600]

A co-worker has been married for 16 years and has told me he is in love with his wife’s friend and fellow member of a church group he leads. This relationship has now evolved into something physical. In conversations with him, he has said to me that he doesn’t feel like he has commited adultery. I’ve told him that I am opposed to this and that I do not want to hear of his exploits any more. Fortunately, he has respected that; however, he still makes me uncomfortable and time with him is awkward.

What’s worse is his wife will come into our workplace and be friendly to us, even bringing us dessert occasionally. Out of principle, I’ve decided that I would not enjoy any time with her or anything that she brings in because I feel like I should tell her what my co-worker has told me. Anything short of that would be dishonest. It’s been this way for almost a year now and I sense that his wife has ill opinions of me, but what should I do? Should I be the nosy co-worker, should I continue as I’ve been, or should I ignore it all and let God make the calls for everyone? And what about my daily interactions with my co-worker? Am I doing the right thing or is there a more Christian way to interact with him?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

What you need to develop is a completely professional and impersonal manner with these people. With him, observe the common courtesies but keep conversations solely about work. If they begin to digress into non-work topics, smile pleasantly and say, “Thanks for the information. I’ll let you get back to work now.” With the wife you need not be cold or refuse the treats she brings in as a goodwill gesture for her husband’s colleagues (which might explain her concerns about you), but you can also remain completely impersonal. Thank her, exchange pleasantries, and get back to work. You do not have an obligation to involve yourself in this situation by informing the co-worker’s wife of his adultery. All you need do is discourage any more confessions from him (as you already have done) and be more prudent in the future about personal conversation with colleagues.