How should I deal with these afflictions?

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Austere

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Hello everyone,
I just want to ask you, my friends, how I should deal with my problems. These more or less deal with anger, hatred and sexual sins. The latter however, is the one I have the greatest difficulty with. I have been trying to fight the temptations; I hid the battery of my phone in my brothers’ room for a while and I went almost a week without masturbating. I could use the excuse that, being eighteen, I’m full to the brim with hormones but I realize it’s no excuse at all. I went to Confession nearly three weeks straight a few weeks ago until my mother stopped me from doing so.
Anger is also a problem that I have to contend with. Sometimes, it almost seems as if my Catholicism is derived from what makes me angry and causes me to hate than the fruits that being a member of the Church actually brings and what the Church actually teaches. Sometimes I feel like my anger is in such deep contrast to the Church and to Christ that I wonder if I should bother being a Roman Catholic for fear that I disgrace Christ and His Church.
All I ask, my friends, is that you can give me sound advice and hold me in your prayers that I may overcome these things.
Thank you and may God bless, save and guide you through His Holy Roman Church!
 
I have read that “patience is all the strength that man needs.” The dali lama teaches that by practicing patience we learn to let go of anger. I know from experience that when I am more patient I am less angry.
May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.
 
Hi Austere. First, you need to know we are all sinners. And God became Man so that our sins could be forgiven. Jesus came to save the sinners, not the righteous.

Not certain why your Mother stopped you from going to confession. Does she need to drive you, or let you use her car? In any event, you may want to make an appointment with the priest to talk over what you’ve posted here. He can probably help you begin to overcome your habits and sins.

Also, how is your prayer life? Are you spending some quality time with our Lord? Eucharistic Adoration? The priest can help you establish the basics for building your relationship with the Holy Spirit. He is the one with all the strength we need. We just need to ask him to help us each day.

Praying you will find some peace and direction on your Journey.

God Bless You.
 
You definitely shouldn’t leave the Church for fear of disgracing Christ. The church is meant for sinners (i.e., everyone)!

Maybe you should seek the help of a spiritual director; a spiritual director would be the best advisor on these matters, I think (I’m wondering whether you’re being over-scrupulous in some ways…a spiritual director would be able to tell).

Prayer life has a lot to do with overcoming sins, I’ve found, anyway. Remember that one’s spiritual life is a journey. The road to moral perfection is hard and won’t ever be completed until Purgatory is over in most cases. Keep striving! It sounds like you’re on the right track! Maybe you can pray through the intercession of some favorite saints?

That’s too bad that your mom won’t let you go to Confession as often as you like. 😦 Do you have access to a bus? Or do you live close enough to your church that you can walk/bike? At the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do when transportation isn’t in your control.
 
I am assuming that you are using your phone to google pornography? You do not need a phone for any other reason than to make a phone call, so ditch the phone or cut off internet access to put a stop to it. Hiding a battery where you can go and retrieve it is not the answer.
Aside from the masturbation issue, anger is part of each one of our dna. Anger in and of itself is just an emotion which is a signal for us to use to begin to resolve the problem(s) at the root of our anger. If you need help with emotional issues, talking to a priest would be a very good place to start. At your age, you are coming into adulthood and just learning how to cope with things that never used to concern you. You are not unique in this way, but just the same as the rest of us. Turning away from God at this point would be the absolute worst mistake you could possibly make. Get busy doing good for others, increase your prayer life, find meaningful work that you can do to help you find your way. Remember that Jesus had many problems to deal with in his life, but he never turned away from helping us, no matter what. We will pray for you.
 
Sins of the flesh are linked. Indulge the flesh and it will cry out for more. Subdue your passions by mortifying the flesh (e.g. By fasting).

Here are some remedies that will help.
  • Firstly, the more obvious ones (perhaps): prayer, the Sacraments, Adoration.
  • The Rosary and the Three Hail Marys.
  • Custody of the eyes (look away from “dangerous objects” and occasionally look away from innocent things, too - so as to strengthen your will)
  • Ask God for holy fear: “Pierce Thou my flesh with Thy fear!” Many souls are lost due to sins of the flesh.
  • “Love chastity.” (Rule of St. Benedict) The pure of heart possess God, Who dwells in our souls. To gain Christ is to gain all.
  • Make 33 days of reparation in honour of Our Lord’s loving mercy. By the end of this relatively short period, you will have formed a new habit.
  • Lastly, here is something that I have found to be very helpful: befriend a Saint of the opposite sex. Talk to them. Ask them for help. When you are tempted to impurity, they will be there to help you. In time, you will become so accustomed to this holy friendship that you will begin to delight in conversing with your heavenly friend, who has experienced the same trials that you are facing.
 
Austere said:
Sometimes I feel like my anger is in such deep contrast to the Church and to Christ that I wonder if I should bother being a Roman Catholic for fear that I disgrace Christ and His Church.
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There is an awareness of sins and a humility here that is surely a grace from God—and that is a wonderful sign! But don’t misinterpret the grace: it is not a comment on your fittingness to be a Catholic, but rather an invitation to rely on Jesus and His mercy.

The greater the sinner, the more right he or she has to come to Jesus and receive mercy, so long as they are contrite! Don’t forget that basic principle, and burn it into your memory.

We are not angelic intellects who are able to understand everything in a moment. Rather, we are human beings, with many defects, and we are all of us exceedingly stupid. God gives us chance after chance after chance, but we must never waste these opportunities, and neither should we assume that God is finished with us. Hope in Him always, relying on His infinite power to make and shape you into whatever type of Saint He wants you to be! And make no mistake: you are called to be a Saint!

Don’t forget, either, that many people ask God for the grace of chastity … and then are surprised that they still have temptations! But chastity is a good habit, and habits have to be formed. How can we form chastity if we never have any temptations?

Also, temptations have at least five, wonderful purposes:

(1) They help us to show that our love for God is not simply nominal, but that we mean it. There must be a test, and every Saint in Heaven, whether canonized or no, has been given a test of their love for God.

(2) They provide us with an opportunity to develop genuine love for God, simply by constantly picking Him over some created good.

(3) They give us an awesome, awesome chance to atone for past sins, simply by saying no to present temptations. How many times have we said yes in the past? Here is our chance to make up for them.

(4) Through temptation, we can grow in humility, by constantly knowing our limitations and how much we need God’s help. Here is something that perhaps you are developing but, again, don’t think this means that you are worthless and not a fitting type of person to be a Catholic! No, that is just the enemy twisting this grace because, like always, he’s envious.

(5) They provide us with extra merit and glory, since all the times that we said yes to God provide us with a greater capacity to love Him, and therefore a greater “share” in the Beatific Vision.

So God has a wonderful use for temptation, and you shouldn’t think that, if you are tempted, you are hopeless. Rather:
**
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he hath been proved, he shall receive a crown of life, which God hath promised to them that love him.** James 1:12
 
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