How should I have approached this?

[kristie_m]

I have a houseguest who asked to join me at daily Mass this morning. I was thrilled, of course, to have her along, as she is what I might generously call a “lapsed Catholic”.

Without going into too much detail, we were discussing whether or not she should go to communion. She thought that she should, and I suggested that she go to confession first so as not to receive while in a state of mortal sin. The trouble is, she’s been away for a long time, and no longer believes that certain activities are sinful because she and God “have an understanding.”

I wouldn’t have brought it up at all, except that I didn’t want her to have commit an even greater sin, by receiving the Eucharist when she shouldn’t. But at the same time, I’m afraid I may have turned her off to going to church again.

So then, it brought to mind the question of culpability. Is someone who’s conscience is damaged even capable of committing a mortal sin? Because for a sin to be mortal, they have to have full awareness, right? If they truly believe that their behavior is justified, does that make it a lesser sin?

What do you folks think?

 

[dhgray]

That’s between her and God. If the Lord calls her to the table, who are we to object or judge.

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Lord

 

[kristie_m]

It really wasn’t about me judging her…I know it sounds that way, but it’s not. It was out of genuine concern for her.

 

[baltobetsy]

You did right by suggesting that she confess before receiving. Beyond that, it’s between your friend and God. You can’t force someone to do the right thing.

Betsy

 

[Chatter163]

You did right by suggesting that she confess before receiving. Beyond that, it’s between your friend and God. You can’t force someone to do the right thing.

Agreed. IMHO, you would have been remiss not to have brought this up. Having done so, there is little else one can do.

 

[BennyBoy89]

I avoid asking my cafeteria Catholic friends to go to Mass with me bc I’d hate to see them receive the Eucharist when I know for a fact they shouldn’t receive it.

It’s not a matter of judging, it’s a matter of knowing that they don’t believe in the Church’s teachings.

 

[Ilroy]

That’s between her and God. If the Lord calls her to the table, who are we to object or judge.

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Lord

We are to object and admonish the sinner, but not to judge the state of ones soul.
Yes, we all have fallen (with the obvious exceptions) but before we recieve Christ in the Eucharist, we need to be in a state of grace, through the sacrament of Confession given to us by Christ.

OP, you did the right thing…if your friend is truly feeling the call back, they need to know the TRUTH of Church teaching, not some watered down, touchy feely, I’m ok, You’re ok version of the Church.

 

[ethelzguy]

You did right by suggesting that she confess before receiving. Beyond that, it’s between your friend and God. You can’t force someone to do the right thing.

Betsy

Yep. You pointed out Church teaching in charity. What she does with that knowledge is a matter of “her understanding with God”.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

I would not be comortable bringing someone to Mass, if I knew they would receive HC while not in communion with Catholic teaching. She may not know the teaching, but I do, so I would just skip daily Mass that day.

If you attend a Religious service in any church, you should abide by their teachings. If your friend feels a call to HC, there are plenty of churches which teach that all are welcome regardless of what they believe.

from the USCCB website Guidelines for the Reception of Communion

For Catholics

As Catholics, we fully participate in the celebration of the Eucharist when we receive Holy Communion. We are encouraged to receive Communion devoutly and frequently. In order to be properly disposed to receive Communion, participants should not be conscious of grave sin and normally should have fasted for one hour. A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord without prior sacramental confession except for a grave reason where there is no opportunity for confession. In this case, the person is to be mindful of the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, including the intention of confessing as soon as possible (canon 916). A frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance is encouraged for all.

For our fellow Christians

We welcome our fellow Christians to this celebration of the Eucharist as our brothers and sisters. We pray that our common baptism and the action of the Holy Spirit in this Eucharist will draw us closer to one another and begin to dispel the sad divisions which separate us. We pray that these will lessen and finally disappear, in keeping with Christ’s prayer for us “that they may all be one” (Jn 17:21).

Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Holy Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law (canon 844 § 4). Members of the Orthodox Churches, the Assyrian Church of the East, and the Polish National Catholic Church are urged to respect the discipline of their own Churches. According to Roman Catholic discipline, the Code of Canon Law does not object to the reception of communion by Christians of these Churches (canon 844 § 3).

Lux

 

[kristie_m]

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut everyone. I think I did the right thing…and she did remain in the pew during communion. I guess from here I wait and see what God does.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut everyone. I think I did the right thing…and she did remain in the pew during communion. I guess from here I wait and see what God does.

You did exactly the right thing. It takes courage to invite someone to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Saint Josemaria Escriva even called it an “apostolate.”

Now keep your friend in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to take over.

 

[bpbasilphx]

**and no longer believes that certain activities are sinful because she and God “have an understanding.” **

Sounds more like she has an understanding not with God, but with herself.

 

[surfinpure]

It is never better that people remain in moral ignorance, even for the sake of their own consciences. Because she is your friend, was going to Mass with you, and asked what you thought, you were obligated to tell her the truth in love.

As for the idea that “God called her to the table,” we know that God would never call someone to sacrilege. To receive the Blessed Sacrament unworthily is grave matter, even if the person is ignorant of the sin. You had a chance to spare her the pentalty she would incur by receiving the Body and Blood of Christ when she should not. This is mercy.

 

[KingAlfred]

I avoid asking my cafeteria Catholic friends to go to Mass with me bc I’d hate to see them receive the Eucharist when I know for a fact they shouldn’t receive it.

It’s not a matter of judging, it’s a matter of knowing that they don’t believe in the Church’s teachings.

It’s hard to not be judgmental. I judge my co-workers constantly, and quite harshly, which I know shouldn’t.

 

[kristie_m]

It’s hard to not be judgmental. I judge my co-workers constantly, and quite harshly, which I know shouldn’t.

I’ve been known to have that same problem–just one more reason I’m so grateful for the sacrament of reconciliation!!

 

[KingAlfred]

My problem is even more complicated. Even if I stopped judging them, I could never associate with them, because they’re non-believers and rather bitterly so. In fact, their behaviors are decidedly unChristian. I’m afraid it’s a no-win situation.