How should I pursue this girl? Part 2

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LotusCarsLtd

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So I got the girl’s number and instead of asking her out I called a couple of times. Due to some unique circumstances she hasn’t yet gotten back to me but Facebooked me to tell me she has been busy lately.

I am considering the following options:
  1. Calling in a few days and leaving a voicemail asking her out for coffee or lunch;
  2. Facebooking her and doing the same as in Option 1.
I have only called a few times so far and only do so every other day. I’m trying to avoid coming-off as desperate so I don’t want to call too often, but as a newbie I don’t know what I’m doing here. Any advice would help! I like the girl and I think she likes me so I wanna make this work.

Pax!
 
LotusCarsLtd said:
So I got the girl’s number and instead of asking her out I called a couple of times. Due to some unique circumstances she hasn’t yet gotten back to me but Facebooked me to tell me she has been busy lately.

I am considering the following options:
  1. Calling in a few days and leaving a voicemail asking her out for coffee or lunch;
  2. Facebooking her and doing the same as in Option 1.
I have only called a few times so far and only do so every other day. I’m trying to avoid coming-off as desperate so I don’t want to call too often, but as a newbie I don’t know what I’m doing here. Any advice would help! I like the girl and I think she likes me so I wanna make this work.

Pax!
Click to expand...
I think you are coming off as a little overly energetic on this sort of thing. Relax, its not like not calling, prevents you from ever communicating, maybe give her a call on friday to see if she is up for doing anything that night or over the weekend. thats what i would do if I were you. you can even FB msg her about it.
 
LotusCarsLtd said:
So I got the girl’s number and instead of asking her out I called a couple of times. Due to some unique circumstances she hasn’t yet gotten back to me but Facebooked me to tell me she has been busy lately.

I am considering the following options:
  1. Calling in a few days and leaving a voicemail asking her out for coffee or lunch;
  2. Facebooking her and doing the same as in Option 1.
I have only called a few times so far and only do so every other day. I’m trying to avoid coming-off as desperate so I don’t want to call too often, but as a newbie I don’t know what I’m doing here. Any advice would help! I like the girl and I think she likes me so I wanna make this work.

Pax!
Click to expand...
Calling every other day when she is not getting back to you is inappropriate in my opinion, and could be off putting depending on the girl. (It would be offputting to me if a guy called me every other day even when I wasn’t calling him back.)

I would say take a little break, then message her online, ask her how she’s doing. Once you have a conversation going, then ask her out to lunch.
 
Aww you’re in my prayers 🙂

I’d leave it to one text message (or maybe a facebook message if she seems to get on often). That way you know she got it, and the ball is in her court and you can chill for a while (just kidding! I’d spend some time in adoration to get the edge off your nerves). Definitely don’t scare her off with lots of calls.
 
Don’t worry about it.

No, seriously, don’t worry about it. The more you do, the less confident you are, and confidence is something women like. Your eagerness is part of your worrying. Just treat the situation like you would with any friend and you’ll be fine - and since you’re a guy, if you are rejected, don’t worry about that, either; it’s just a natural part of a guy’s life.

In general, the key is to be comfortable around women - to be able to keep eye contact, be humorous, listen to them and relate to their interests. Gentlemanly contact is good where it is appropriate. That’s really all you have to learn.

Also, serious thought: have you talked to your father about dating?
 
OAO said:
Also, serious thought: have you talked to your father about dating?
Click to expand...
I really don’t feel comfortable talking about such things with my dad, as with most things of a personal nature.
 
Let me just say congrats to you first. I have yet to even get close to any romantic relationship (Lord, if this is one of the many crosses I bear, could I please be relieved of this one? Just this one? 😃 )

So, while I don’t really know exactly how to go about it, I can suggest that you simply relax. Call her maybe once every 5 days, preferably on weekends, as most people have more flexibility on weekends.
 
I think I agree with the other posters, just relax a bit on this. Based on the reception she gave you, I have a feeling that she might want to get to know you, but in a much slower path. Believe me, I am having a similar situation with this one guy, and I some what am acting in a similar manner as this girl. If you are starting to show too much, she might back away really quick (my guy is actually pretty quick mover and I actually told him that I am busy so that he could get the hint and back off a little bit).

For now, just keep with the messaging and the texting. Phone call…maybe in a few weeks time. Or if you need to call, at least keep it once a week. (I dislike phones, so I maybe a little biased).

Then again, that’s just my :twocents: She may be a completely different type of person (and I also don’t know the whole story). 🤷
 
If you were my younger bro, I’d advise you to lay off contacting her for a couple of weeks, then call her and invite her out for lunch/coffee. It is off-putting for some women to be on the receiving end of frequent communication (if she’s not responding to each contact then it’s probably too much for her right now).

Good luck!🙂
 
Here is how I have handled similar situations in the past.

Stop calling. You look desperate. There are many more women out there, if she is not that interested, find another. No one is so busy that they cannot return a call if it is important.

If you really want a date and she does not seem enthusiastic about the proposition, come up with a good date. If she is not eager to get to know you, it does not mean that she won’t like you after she knows you better. What kind of activity will she find hard to resist? Concert tickets, skydiving with a group, water skiing, etc.? Pry the door open with a bribe! LOL Then, step through the door and see if you click.
 
Either she is interested or not.

Supposedly, messaging too much or too often is rude. Newsflash: not replying is rude and the whole “busy” facade is rude too. I often work 12 hours and I typically spend a night a week (after the day) working (means 30-40 hours of near-continuous intellectual work at times), and before this, I worked for a corporate law firm, so I know something about busy. If she keeps being busy, move on.

Ask her out already. Calling much without a concrete purpose may be giving a creepy impression.

Remember that that girl isn’t your last chance, isn’t the last woman on earth or anything like that. If she’s not into you, someone else will be.

As for places to go, while it’s great to have ideas and be surprising, an interested girl will be glad just to meet you no matter where.
 
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