How should I structure an email to my engaged but cohabiting sister?

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Stornoway

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My sister is due to be married in a Catholic church next September. She has been living with her boyfriend for about three years now and when I’ve been weak in mentioning things before, now that she’s engaged I know I need to say something soon. These things are maybe better done in person but considering I won’t see her till Christmas as I’m in a different country, an email will have to do.

I’m making my way through Love and Responsibility by JPII at the moment and picking up ideas about how to structure the email from there, but before I start composing the it I need some advice about where to start etc. and how to go about it ?
 
At this point, it is the priest’s responsibility to discuss this with them during marriage preparation.

I suggest you get your sister a book for Christmas that will be helpful in explaining Catholic marriage such as:

Three To Get Married by Archbishop Fulton Sheen
Holy Sex by Greg Popcak
For Better, Forever by Greg Popcak
Good News About Sex and Marriage, Christopher West
Theology of the Body For Beginners, Christopher West
 
If you do email, be sure to start out with “You know I love you, sis.”
 
The word admonish means to firmly warn. Admonishing the sinner means informing someone who committing a sin out of ignorance that their behavior is sinning. It is not telling a peson who is knowingly and willfully rejecting the Church’s teaching that they are a bad person, in danger of Hell, etc. etc, etc.

So throw out the email idea. Congratulate her on her engagement. Pray for her and that she gets good marriage prep and find a book that is friendly, loving and something she’ll likely read that might gently sway her away. However accept in all liklihood that she’s probably pretty sure of herself that she’s doing nothing wrong and that being too hard is going to push her likely away from the Truth and recocilation from God than toward it.
 
1ke said:
At this point, it is the priest’s responsibility to discuss this with them during marriage preparation.

I suggest you get your sister a book for Christmas that will be helpful in explaining Catholic marriage such as:

Three To Get Married by Archbishop Fulton Sheen
Holy Sex by Greg Popcak
For Better, Forever by Greg Popcak
Good News About Sex and Marriage, Christopher West
Theology of the Body For Beginners, Christopher West
Click to expand...
I agree, this discussion should be led by the Parish Priest, or whomever is going to marry them. There was a time when a priest would refuse to marry persons who were cohabiting. Of course, in this day and age of relativism, they could establish separate residences the day before the wedding and the priest would probably be okay performing the ceramony, but then I am on my way to being a cynical Catholic.
 
I would not want to get a Christopher West book from anybody. Ew.
 
Stornoway said:
My sister is due to be married in a Catholic church next September. She has been living with her boyfriend for about three years now and when I’ve been weak in mentioning things before, now that she’s engaged I know I need to say something soon. These things are maybe better done in person but considering I won’t see her till Christmas as I’m in a different country, an email will have to do.

I’m making my way through Love and Responsibility by JPII at the moment and picking up ideas about how to structure the email from there, but before I start composing the it I need some advice about where to start etc. and how to go about it ?
Click to expand...
I would wait until you see her at Christmas, it’s easier to discuss properly in person. If you want to send her an email about it, maybe just bring up the issue in a small way, not a long drawn out email about how you feel. I’ve found that once you’ve sent an long email, you’ve said all there is to say and if the person doesn’t want to hear it or acknowledge the truth in it they can just delete the email. It makes it hard to bring up again in person because you’ve already made your views known. You know? But that’s just my opinion and I know how hard it is waiting on something like that. I also don’t know the exact situation and how close you are to her, but good luck and God bless you. 😛
 
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