How should one pursue this desire/feeling/thought on exorcisms....how should I handle a/this potential gift?

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jmoburg

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For some reason, I feel I’m always drawn to a fight… almost like an adrenaline rush. This fight would be against the devil. Growing up, there were the typical ouija (weegie) board, I wanted to be amazed like many other teens. It never worked, ever. Any group of kids that wanted an extra haunted night of halloween, who got it the year before or year after me…never got it while I was there.

In fact, the whole “light as a feather, stiff as a board” games never work, or they worked before I got there. I went to school on a rougher side of town for a year, other people claimed that there were stabbings or muggings right before I was in that area. Some say its a guardian angel kind of thing, others say good luck.

One might think I walk around with this lucky confident feeling. I have a very confident feeling towards all that I can see-- its what I can’t see that bothers me the most. I’m still afraid of the dark sometimes. (no joke-- 25 year old male, former athlete, the guy people ask to help walk them out to their cars at night…). Its not all the time, but just certain times. I don’t feel a cold sense, no ghostly feelings…just more eerie feeling. A friend of mine told me I should say outloud an “Our Father” prayer- many times I just do in my head.

(as a very recently newbie to this site, and too the redefining phase of my personal faith)
I have recently found a common thread with my faith, that my faith seems to come near fear driven. In a scientific like way, I find myself believing more in God, as I see more proof of evil. I haven’t felt the first hand experiences – or if I am experiencing them, I cant feel them or see them (some people just tell me later “You were lucky, your guardian angels are working overtime for you”

I have a very very Catholic side of my family, my mom’s side. Now mostly in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, & 90s, many of them still claim that they think I’ll be a priest when I grow up…or they’ll laugh if they hear I’m having trouble with finding a good girl (laugh as they say, “God is answering our prayers for you to be a priest”). I now have a great girl, who is non-denominational Christian, daughter of a Pastor of a church I am uncomfortable in. Our 1+ year relationship sees the roughest spots being our differences of Faith- another convo for another time!. Anyways, its through her challenging me to figure out my faith, that I’ve come to realize how strong my Catholic roots really are…and I feel I have proof that Catholicism is right, its the fullest most correct faith…and right for me.

As my faith went dormant in college a bit, one thing stood strong - a weegie board never worked, even a few devil worshiping people felt uncomfortable around me, even though I wasn’t wearing a cross or anything. I have had a few instances where I feel I have made eye contact with another person. who is just walking down the street… a person who is possessed…and I sense there is an unfought battle between the two of us (more on a mental level) just from the eye contact in passing.

I want to test a theory. I keep having visions of fighting in my mind. I want to be present at an exorcism. Thankfully, my family is safe…or we hope free from any possessions.

I wonder if I have a gift, a gift of being a big pain in the butt to the devil. I just don’t know how to pursue this gift. I want to be present, as I feel I can help, and I know that seeing a physical possessed being will help strengthen my faith even further.

Any suggestions? (I live in Chicago, can’t go randomly visit another country that many tell me are full of demons etc). I want to continue strengthening my faith - I want to be a fighter for God, as I feel its a great calling for a normal guy.
 
The easiest way is to approach your local diocesan office. Every diocese, if memory serves, has a priest appointed as ‘official exorcist’. They could certainly give you a bit more information about what’s involved and you could check them out and vice versa.

Beware of pride though! If you have been spared diabolical attack, and/or have the gift of helping others in this regard, it is through God’s grace and protection alone and not any merit or ability of yours.
 
Hey, I live near Chicago!
One way to fight is to pray!!!! Fill your room with relics and crucifixes and all sorts of devotional items. The Devil cannot stand one minute to be surrounded by God. Soon the Devil will get really frustrated and you will feel less of his lurking. With that, whenever you're near people, the Devil may be tempting them and then see you, boy he'll run.
 
Before you even think of fighting a demon, it’s spelled ouija, not weegie.

General advice? Run from this sort of thing. Don’t walk. The last person who should aspire to perform an exorcism is the person who feels called to do it.
 
Pride…so true. This isn’t the first time I’ve been told to be careful of my pride – thanks for truly digesting my questions, and coming up with genuine answers! Putting up relics in my room is a good idea too! thanks!
 
If your hunches are right …and based on what you have to say…you are in for some serious humblings my friend.
 
If you are not an experienced, spiritually mature, ordained priest who has been called by his bishop and prepared with special training, as well as intense spiritual preparation for the ministry of exorcism, no, you are not being called to this ministry at this time. You might be interested in looking at the broader topic of spiritual warfare. Search here on that topic, or Fr. Corapi has some excellent tapes on the topic.
 
Be careful and take the advice from the previous posts. It sounds like your heart is in the right place and you have good intentions, but remember the saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. Good luck to you and God Bless -
 
jmoburg said:
For some reason, I feel I’m always drawn to a fight… almost like an adrenaline rush. This fight would be against the devil. Growing up, there were the typical ouija (weegie) board, I wanted to be amazed like many other teens. It never worked, ever. Any group of kids that wanted an extra haunted night of halloween, who got it the year before or year after me…never got it while I was there.

ETC

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One does not seek out ‘exorcisms’ at all and anyone who does is suspected greatly of what this person may call a gift. It is not for you to discern whether you have a gift in this at all. Your constant visions of fighting could be a total different explanation.

It smacks of pride to say I want to be a big pain in the butt for the devil. Anyone that ever comes near that level to the devil suffers tremendously in all realms. You, by this statement alone, are not there yet at all. Be careful on how you approach the idea of confronting the devil and this attitude is not a good start.

Are you willing to pray intensely? Are you willing to accept humiliation to grow in humility? Are you willing to fast? etc This ministry is not for the faint-hearted!

You cannot make the decision to be a part of an exorcism. The decision comes to you!
 
puzzleannie said:
If you are not an experienced, spiritually mature, ordained priest who has been called by his bishop and prepared with special training, as well as intense spiritual preparation for the ministry of exorcism, no, you are not being called to this ministry at this time. You might be interested in looking at the broader topic of spiritual warfare. Search here on that topic, or Fr. Corapi has some excellent tapes on the topic.
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As I was reading our OP’s post this very thought came to my mind so I will just second it.

I will add though that the OP seek spiritual guidance from a good orthodox Priest! Talk to your Parish Priest first.

Brenda V.
 
The best way to become a pain in the butt to the devil is not to be an exorcist, but to become saintly in your living and charitable to all with whom you come in contact. It is the most difficult path to follow because it seems so hum drum and requires humility yet such lives are the biggest pains in Satin’s butt so to speak. Aren’t you the young fellow with the yearning for the non-denom angel? I would also suggest you to find a good solid priest as a spiritual adviser. I like your enthusiasm but it could use a bit of channeling. 🙂
 
rwoehmke said:
The best way to become a pain in the butt to the devil is not to be an exorcist, but to become saintly in your living and charitable to all with whom you come in contact. It is the most difficult path to follow because it seems so hum drum and requires humility yet such lives are the biggest pains in Satin’s butt so to speak.🙂
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Great post! 👍 And as odd as this seems, exorcisms, on the whole, are boring because it is so repetitive and the devils words are DEAD!
 
rwoehmke said:
The best way to become a pain in the butt to the devil is not to be an exorcist, but to become saintly in your living and charitable to all with whom you come in contact. It is the most difficult path to follow because it seems so hum drum and requires humility yet such lives are the biggest pains in Satin’s butt so to speak.🙂
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I agree especially with the above poster. Also, I would suggest this hlpeful tidbit often spoken by a good bishop I know (and probably many others): “if you think you have a calling, bring it to the Church and let them help you discern if it is a true calling.” A ministry like that of an exorcist is one that comes through the Church. Either way, it sounds like you may have some wonderful gifts to offer to the Church and the world if you can humbly accept them and continue to discern the call with prayer. God bless you!
 
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