How should we make others feel welcomed and loved?

[ResoluteSheep]

I’ve recently read up a post about ‘‘The Dangers of Loneliness’’ by Psychology Today and it brought to mind a few people that I felt suffered from loneliness. One example is an adopted relative. She has been adopted by her current parents and does not feel like she is a part of the family. It led to her behaving rebelliously and harbouring feelings of resentment towards many people and has affected her attitude towards other people in everyday life and there isn’t many people that she can talk to. It really sucks being left out as we human beings have a general need and desire to belong, to socialize with other people. I do want to help her but it’s kinda tough as I’m probably the most shy among all the members of my family so I generally find it hard to open up to others that I haven’t spoken to much before.

Advice would be appreciated. Thanks and God bless

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’d say to make a special effort to reach out and include her in communications and activities. If she doesn’t respond at first, you can keep trying, as she’s your relative so the family tie provides a good basis to keep up the contact and just keep checking in to see how she’s doing. Also, be sure to be a good listener as she may want to vent about why she doesn’t feel like she’s a part of the family.

You can also pray for her. You don’t have to tell her or anybody else you’re doing that, especially if it would make her uncomfortable to be the subject of prayers.

Remember, though, that she needs to meet you halfway with her own attitude. If she has some deep-rooted insecurity or even a mental illness like depression, she may feel “left out” even if you are making your very best effort to reach out. Don’t take it personally if that happens. Sometimes being adopted is very hard for people and those of us who have not been adopted don’t quite understand. God bless you for your concern about her and for making the effort.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Acknowledge their existance, that’s all most of us want. Most don’t want your rating, just an acknowledgement thehave been noticed!

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Here are some thoughts:

Say hello, how are you, to others is a good start, in my opinion.

Be kind.

Ask yourself “who is my neighbor?”

I can’t tell you how many times people have passed right by me, in church is where it hurts especially, completely involved in their own lives or that of their family or acquaintances, and never bother to even smile or acknowledge me.

I think the idea “whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers you do to me” applies here.

How would you like to be treated by others? That’s what helps me, then I go and try to do the same, though I frequently mess up.

Just my two cents, take it or leave it…

 

[randomuser]

I can’t tell you how many times people have passed right by me, in church is where it hurts especially, completely involved in their own lives or that of their family or acquaintances, and never bother to even smile or acknowledge me.

Catholic church is by far the loneliest place I could ever be and yes, that’s where it’s most hurtful. Here’s the part where someone chimes in with, “You don’t go to church to socialize or be entertained” – usually from someone who has never experienced loneliness or isolation. The Catholic mass is a COMMUNAL experience – not a place where we can all be Lone Rangers in public and ignore those who aren’t at church with family or kids.

 

[tawny]

By treating everyone as made in the image & likeness of God. Seeing Jesus in everyone. We are all children of God.

 

[SuperHappy]

The key to helping others feel less lonely is to always treat others as you want them to treat you.

I like people to smile and say hello and ask how I am, so I do the same for others. I always smile at people even if I don’t know them. If the person is an acquaintance I ask how they are and most importantly, I listen actively when they talk to me. I believe that listening to a person alleviates more problems than we can imagine. Every person needs to feel valued and listening is a great way to make people feel valued. If I have an opportunity to invite someone along with me to an outing, I do. And if a friend or family member invites me someplace I make the effort to say yes and go.

 

[mommy_k]

It helps to show the person u are genuinely happy to hear from them or see them, and try to keep interaction positive and fun.

And maintain contact, through phone calls or texts… Ask open ended questions when you are communicating to get the flow going, and share nice things that made u think of them…such a an article or photo or experience and let them know that.

That’s how I try and do it.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Catholic church is by far the loneliest place I could ever be and yes, that’s where it’s most hurtful. Here’s the part where someone chimes in with, “You don’t go to church to socialize or be entertained” – usually from someone who has never experienced loneliness or isolation. The Catholic mass is a COMMUNAL experience – not a place where we can all be Lone Rangers in public and ignore those who aren’t at church with family or kids.

I’ve been lonely plenty of times in my life, but I never thought of the Church or the Mass as the place to seek human companionship for my loneliness, because when I was there I always had the company of Jesus Christ who was the main reason I was attending. YMMV.

Also, everyone gets lonely from time to time. People can experience loneliness and isolation when right in the middle of caring families, as the OP notes about his relative.

I empathize with your feelings, but not with the idea that people who go to Catholic church with a focus other than social interaction with other people somehow never knew what it was like to be lonely.

 

[Michael_Mayo]

One on one find our what here interests are and talk about them.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Adopt a personal “vow” of hospitality and make it your own. Call, invite that person out for coffee or lunch. Ask for their advice or opinion on something. Invite the person over for pizza night/cards or a good movie. Do not be intrusive or obnoxious or pushy. There is a wise adage of “Kill them with kindness.” Just use good judgement and don’t “overkill.” So many little things that can mean a lot to a person. I pray that you do well as it is important for all. Peace.