How sorry does one have to be to make a confession valid?

[PiousTemplar]

Normally if you are already at the confessional than that is enough to know you are sorry.

 

[smichhertz]

Normally if you are already at the confessional than that is enough to know you are sorry.

That would be my assumption as well. I can only imagine that one who is defiant to God would be unable to go to confession. Of course, when one is defiantly not sorry, they probably would have no interest in confession in the first place.

 

[Dave2300]

Stephen, you’re asking good and legitimate questions…people will naturally differ in their responses, but you’re on the right track.

 

[PiousTemplar]

That would be my assumption as well. I can only imagine that one who is defiant to God would be unable to go to confession. Of course, when one is defiantly not sorry, they probably would have no interest in confession in the first place.

Well said.

 

[curlycool89]

Okay that leads to a follow up question - how firm of an amendment is required? Following along that same example - let’s say this young man knows he’ll probably commit the sin again. Would he still have a valid confession?

Well, that would depend on the definition of “knows” you’re using.

Is he honestly trying his best to stop? If the answer’s yes, then that’s probably good enough.

You mentioned the example of weakness after drinking, and he’s going drinking that night. Is he going out for social drinking, or is the planning on getting wasted? If it’s the latter then he has a whole other problem to deal with: escapism and not caring enough to take care of his own body. If it’s the former that turns into the latter, he should probably start thinking about taking step 1 in the 12 step program.

In either case, if he knows that’s a bad situation for him, then he should at least be telling his drinking buddies to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid (or tell someone). The last part of the more traditional Act of Contrition is “I firmly revolve, with thy help, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life” (obviously, variations exist). The last part I bolded is the important part. Is putting yourself in the same situation really making good on trying to amend your life? Not only putting yourself in a situation you know you are weak, but in one where you know your ability to make good choices is severely diminished.

I would have to ask the guy at that point “What do you love more: God or drinking?” I’m not saying that drinking it bad for everyone, but for some people the prudent action to take would be to stop.

 

[LaSainte]

But what is the definition of being “sorry”? Does it haveto include total regret, because I know I have done things that I know in retrospect were wrong, but i might stop short of wishing I had never done them (you know, like partying too much at college or sleeping with my spouse before we were married). These things may have been wrong, but I feel that they may have helped me in a way to be who I am today, a better person and one who can look at her children and advise them with the benefit of experience. Did I confess hear things? Of course. Was I absolved even though I told the priest that I wAs really struggling with contrition? Yes. Is there a difference between sorrow for your sins and regret?

 

[smichhertz]

You mentioned the example of weakness after drinking, and he’s going drinking that night. Is he going out for social drinking, or is the planning on getting wasted? If it’s the latter then he has a whole other problem to deal with: escapism and not caring enough to take care of his own body. If it’s the former that turns into the latter, he should probably start thinking about taking step 1 in the 12 step program.

The point I was more trying to get at was that he was putting himself in the near occasion of sin. So in this example, he’s telling himself in his head that THIS time, he’ll control himself and only have a few. He has no plans of getting drunk. However, from an objective standpoint, once he ends up at the bar with friends, the chances of him staying sober are very low.

I guess I would say since he isn’t planning to commit the sin, his confession is still valid at the time, even though he does plan on putting himself in the near occasion of sin.

But here’s an issue: When he says his act of contrition and comes to the “I firmly resolve…to avoid the near occasion of sin”, he’s technically lying, as he has plans to do just that!

 

[curlycool89]

The point I was more trying to get at was that he was putting himself in the near occasion of sin. So in this example, he’s telling himself in his head that THIS time, he’ll control himself and only have a few. He has no plans of getting drunk. However, from an objective standpoint, once he ends up at the bar with friends, the chances of him staying sober are very low.

I guess I would say since he isn’t planning to commit the sin, his confession is still valid at the time, even though he does plan on putting himself in the near occasion of sin.

I’d say that if he really doesn’t intend to, then it’s valid.

But what is the definition of being “sorry”? Does it haveto include total regret, because I know I have done things that I know in retrospect were wrong, but i might stop short of wishing I had never done them (you know, like partying too much at college or sleeping with my spouse before we were married). These things may have been wrong, but I feel that they may have helped me in a way to be who I am today, a better person and one who can look at her children and advise them with the benefit of experience. Did I confess hear things? Of course. Was I absolved even though I told the priest that I wAs really struggling with contrition? Yes. Is there a difference between sorrow for your sins and regret?

There has to be some sense of wrong. Even if you’re still struggling, you have to at least acknowledge that God knows better, and you should be attempting to come to the position that God is right and that you were wrong.

It’s hard, but you can’t let your own pride get in the way. Sometime you have to say that I was wrong, mea culpa, and that what you did was stupid. “It’s ok because it worked out for the best” can’t be the attitude because it’s saying that “the ends justify the means”. Rather, it’s that God can still use people who sin to do great things (the archetype of that being St. Paul, who’s feast is today).

 

[smichhertz]

So it sounds to me like the basic consensus is that if you are sorry, no matter how little or for what reasons, your confession is valid.

For the purpose of amendment, it would seem to me that as long as you don’t intend to do it again (for whatever reason), then it is valid.