How specific do I need to be during confession?

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Hi,
I haven’t been to a good confession for a long time and there are many sins I need to confess. I don’t want to hide anything, but I have a lot sins to confess and I wonder if I can sum up some similar sins into a category.

For example, “I haven’t treated people right”. This category could include all the similar sins like: I disrespected people, I was judgemental, I was hateful or angry with them and so on…

I feel on one hand that I should be specific in naming a sin, but on the other hand I can’t confess the whole day.
(Pardon my English, I’m not a native speaker)
 
If you have not confessed for a long time, I would suggest that you focus on the grave, possibly mortal sins, as those are the ones you are required to confess. Once you have confessed all the mortal sins, if you still have time you can mention your most frequent venial sins.

If you want to confess sins of “not treating people right” you could say something like, “At times (or Frequently, or About once a week, or whatever works) I have been disrespectful to people, I have been judgmental, I have been angry and I haven’t treated people right”. If there is a particular person or persons who always sets you off (such as a relative, some group in society, etc) you might mention that you have especially been judgmental or angry with this person or this group.
 
Shalom!

I’m not an authority on this matter, but I have here a book entitled “Study Guide For Peace and Unity.” It contains the following question:

How definite should we be in confessing our sins?

Leviticus 5:5

“And it shall be, when he shall be guilty in one of these things, that he shall confess that he hath sinned " in that thing.”

Note: True confession is always of a specific character, and acknowledges particular sins.

GOD bless!
 
Find a good examination of conscience first. This will assist you in collecting your thoughts and organizing the sins into something manageable.

Our parish uses the examens from the Fathers of Mercy: Examinations of Conscience - The Fathers of Mercy

The good thing about these is that they go over the Seven Deadly Sins (tempered by the Seven Virtues) and the Ten Commandments. You can easily distill down all the sins you’ve ever done into these categories, and at that point you just have to put a number on them. For habitual or frequent sins it will suffice to say: “once a week for a year.” or “three times a day, every month for five years.” or “three times total.” Approximations are fine.

If you feel you would be nervous or take a long time, you can schedule an appointment with the priest so that you needn’t worry about a line forming behind you. But a confession never needs to be more than a few minutes if you are well-prepared.

I wish you all the best! You will be in my prayers, and welcome home!
 
Kullervo said:
I feel on one hand that I should be specific in naming a sin, but on the other hand I can’t confess the whole day.
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I sometimes give one concrete example for a whole group of sins. If my confessor needs more details, he asks for them.
 
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Thanks, this also crossed my mind. So, you think I could just name a broader category and then the worst sin of that category as an example?
 
What I do (usually with my worst habitual sin he’s quite familiar with, and frequent enough that I generally can’t remember all the times I did it since my last confession) is that I say something like : “I did X frequently enough not to remember how much. For example, I did X to So-and-so in such situation. I tend to do X with such and such particular person/group/context”.
 
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One thing to keep in mind is aggravating or extenuating circumstances. So if you violated the 5th Commandment by being angry at your sister, or you violated the 5th Commandment by murdering a prostitute, you would need to clarify these things for the confessor.

And remember that if the sin is mortal, then you must identify how many times you committed it.
 
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So, I to sum it up my duty is just to accurately convey to the priest what sin I did. If I say I transgressed against the 5th commandment it’s not enough because that’s really not specific, but if I say I was angry with people than the priest can have a pretty good idea of what I did.

Thank you for your patience with me. And the link, I appreciate it.
 
Yes.

And a very important thing to remember is what makes a mortal sin. You do not need to confess sins you committed which were venial in nature.

A mortal sin must meet the following requirements:
  • Grave matter and
  • Full knowledge and
  • Full consent of the will.
If any one of these three is lacking then the sin is not mortal! Full stop! If you were judgemental to someone out of habit, not a mortal sin. If you became angry in an argument but you didn’t mean to be, then not a mortal sin. If you have an addiction to pornography and masturbation and you act out of habit, then the culpability is reduced and the sin, in isolation, may not be mortal.

So it is always a good idea, when developing your examination of conscience, to learn how to discern mortal sins and avoid feeling too guilty or responsible for sins that were not at this level.
 
Kullervo said:
Hi,
I haven’t been to a good confession for a long time and there are many sins I need to confess. I don’t want to hide anything, but I have a lot sins to confess and I wonder if I can sum up some similar sins into a category.

For example, “I haven’t treated people right”. This category could include all the similar sins like: I disrespected people, I was judgemental, I was hateful or angry with them and so on…

I feel on one hand that I should be specific in naming a sin, but on the other hand I can’t confess the whole day.
(Pardon my English, I’m not a native speaker)
Click to expand...
If the sins are venial then individual sacramental confession of number and kind are not required, but you can confess those to the Holy Trinity privately. Otherwise number and kind. Some use an examination of conscience list or mentally go through the commandments and the Precepts of the Church.
 
remembering PALE GAS would help.

P is for pride. Pride declares: I want to be the ruler and center of my life.
A is for anger (or wrath). Anger says: I want to get even with you.
L is for lust. Lust says: I want my way with you.
E is for envy. Envy says: I want what you have.
G is for gluttony. Gluttony says: I want a lot.
A is for avarice (or greed). Avarice says: I want a whole lot.
S is for sloth (or apathy). Sloth claims: I don’t want to care or to do something any more.
 
Kullervo said:
Thanks, this also crossed my mind. So, you think I could just name a broader category and then the worst sin of that category as an example?
Click to expand...
This answer is specific to mortal sin:

The answer to this is no. If you committed different kinds of mortal sins, then the onus is on us to make an integral confession. So if you committed fornication, viewed pornography, masturbated, and had sex with a person married to another, then you have to confess the specific sins of fornication, pornography, masturbation, and adultery, and the number of times you committed each sin. It is not enough to simply say “I committed sins of lust” or “I violated the Sixth Commandment”. The species of the sin must be clearly named.

You don’t need to go into gory details. All that’s required is enough clarity that there is no ambiguity, and any circumstances that change the species of the sin (e.g. assaulting someone, vs assaulting a priest, which carries the additional guilt of sacrilege).
 
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so in regards to say masturbation or watching porn - do you have to give a correct “count”? I’m sure not everyone can keep track if it’s very extensive. wouldn’t something like “several times” be enough instead of an exact count? Just wondering 🙂
 
Approximations and frequencies also meet the requirement. We are not required to dredge up exact numbers if it is no longer possible. All that’s asked of us is our best.
 
Being specific is being clear. If the priest needs more details, let him ask for them. Otherwise, be concise and to the point. Above all, be truthful.

Blessings.
 
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