B
babartos
Guest
I’ve been to several confessions to confess things that I’m not entirely sure are sins: unwanted sexual awareness and a physical sexual reaction that I was deeply ashamed of because of the innocence of the situation. I know that consent is necessary for sin, but it’s the awareness is such a constant problem for me that I feel compelled to confess it anyway. My question is: if these are sins, do I need to describe the shameful nature of each instance of lust? I don’t mean the distinction between a fleeting thought vs. pornography vs. masturbation. I mean, do I need to state whether a lustful thought is heterosexual, homosexual, or some other perversion? Sometimes it seems my mind can find sexuality in anything that moves, even when I try to squash the thoughts as quickly as they arise. I’ve just been confessing all of these thoughts as sexual, but I’m sort of wondering if I should be more specific in confession. Is this a failure to confess fully or should the gritty details be left unsaid?
As a follow-up question, when one has unwanted sexual thoughts even in innocent situations, how far does one go to avoid temptation? If I’ve had a sexual thought about a person that I can avoid, must I cut off that relationship? If I had one once during a sweet, relatively (as far as Hollywood goes) innocent family film, must I write off that film forever? I asked my priest about this question and he told me to pray for an increase in the four cardinal virtues and that intention played an important role.
The reason I’m worried about this is because I was a rather neurotic kid growing up. If I once touched an item with dirty hands, I couldn’t just forget about it. I had to wash my hands every time I touched it again. I actually had a separate brush to use when my hair was dirty rather than clean. In trying to avoid germs, I saw them everywhere. Since I joined the Church last year, I’ve felt like I’ve become the same way about sexual sin. Being afraid to touch my own light switch was such a restrictive, miserable way to live and I don’t want to go down that path again. I want to be able to watch uplifting films with the eyes of a child and be able to give a friend a hug without improper thoughts. I want to embrace life, not spend all my time hiding from it.
As a follow-up question, when one has unwanted sexual thoughts even in innocent situations, how far does one go to avoid temptation? If I’ve had a sexual thought about a person that I can avoid, must I cut off that relationship? If I had one once during a sweet, relatively (as far as Hollywood goes) innocent family film, must I write off that film forever? I asked my priest about this question and he told me to pray for an increase in the four cardinal virtues and that intention played an important role.
The reason I’m worried about this is because I was a rather neurotic kid growing up. If I once touched an item with dirty hands, I couldn’t just forget about it. I had to wash my hands every time I touched it again. I actually had a separate brush to use when my hair was dirty rather than clean. In trying to avoid germs, I saw them everywhere. Since I joined the Church last year, I’ve felt like I’ve become the same way about sexual sin. Being afraid to touch my own light switch was such a restrictive, miserable way to live and I don’t want to go down that path again. I want to be able to watch uplifting films with the eyes of a child and be able to give a friend a hug without improper thoughts. I want to embrace life, not spend all my time hiding from it.