How to “congratulate” non Catholic newlyweds

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Love6493

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My friend recently got married at a courthouse. I’m happy for them, but it’s not a valid Catholic marriage so i don’t want to show that I approve of it by actually “congratulating” them. What’s a good way to show kindness without approval of the way they were married. Is “May God bless you” a good response? Please delete ifnot allowed.
 
“Hello, congratulations”.

There is absolutely no need for you to show disapproval with a non-Catholic marriage. And unless this is a very close friend, I would find it rude were you to congratulate in a way that shows disapproval.
 
Really? But if they were not married in the Catholic Church how is their marriage valid in the Catholic Church? 🤔
 
Okay, I guess I’m just confused on this topic. So if two non Catholics were married in a courthouse, would they be in mortal sin? 🤔 I’m sorry I’m a revert, and still learning about all of these things!
 
Therefore, “Congratulations!”

Or both, if the Spirit moves you: “Congratulations, and God bless you!”
 
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When it is two non-Catholics whom I have reason to believe are entering into an invalid marriage (previous marriages, etc.), I give them my wishes in a way that doesn’t actually congratulate them, such as “I wish you much happiness always and hope things go well for you”. Though it flies entirely over their heads, I am implying that they find some way to conform themselves to the divine will and save their souls. It’s a little-known fact that two non-Catholics can petition the Catholic Church for a declaration of nullity.

When one or both of the parties is Catholic and is entering into an illicit union, I keep my wishes as tepid as I can without projecting the attitude, so despised in the modern world, of “being judgmental”. If they know me, they shouldn’t expect me to fawn all over them.
 
Love6493 said:
Okay, I guess I’m just confused on this topic. So if two non Catholics were married in a courthouse, would they be in mortal sin? 🤔 I’m sorry I’m a revert, and still learning about all of these things!
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Actually, if you think about it, two non-Catholics wouldn’t even be allowed to marry in the Catholic Church. If they aren’t Catholic, where are they supposed to get married?

Even if they were Catholic, I’d ask if they were getting their marriage blessed. Be careful about how you ask; I knew a couple who married in a courthouse in the US before going to the bride’s home country to marry because they were less likely to cause trouble with the US government if they got married here. There are other examples I won’t go into, but you can’t always know the whole story.
 
Love6493 said:
Okay, I guess I’m just confused on this topic. So if two non Catholics were married in a courthouse, would they be in mortal sin? 🤔 I’m sorry I’m a revert, and still learning about all of these things!
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If they’re not Catholics they’re not bound by the rules of the Catholic Church. Their marriage is valid.

Let me try to clarify with an example. If a Seventh Day Adventist told you your marriage was not valid because you didn’t get married before an SDA clergyman, what would you say?
Or is you were told you needed to marry before a Rabbi or a Muslim Imam?
 
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They can have a perfectly valid marriage. It just won’t be sacramental. But there are plenty of Catholics who are in valid, non-sacramental marriages too, for example a Catholic who marries a Jew with valid dispensation.

It doesn’t sound like there’s anything problematic about this marriage. If, hopefully, they become Catholic someday, they can have their marriage convalidated.
 
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