How to Abstain or From withdrawal to NFP

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Goodness Gracious me… The things that go on , while I nod off in my recliner.
 
Ladies, if you’re having trouble understanding… try to think about when you’re breastfeeding, and the baby has been nursing regularly at night… then suddenly has a night where they sleep through. You wake up in terrible discomfort, wanting nothing but relief, right?? So have some compassion for these poor men, its not their fault.

Fact is, it is normal for many men in these circumstances. The feast and fast aspect of NFP can be hard on the man’s body. Unfortunately there is no clear remedy, its just something that must be coped with. My husband sometimes says it would be easier if we just stopped having sex altogether, then he would not be in discomfort half the time. 😦 For him, it comes about 2 or 3 days after we last had sex, and eases after about a week.
 
Here’s an update on my lifestyle changes, over two months in:
  1. Gave up caffeine two months ago. Doesn’t seem to have an effect on libido, but I’m definitely somewhat more mellow, which also means I don’t finish the week ready to tie one on. Which is important, see below.
  2. Exercise going as planned. It’s generally healthy, though I don’t think it makes a huge difference one way or the other. What does make a difference is lying around doing nothing, and when I stayed home from work with a cold and didn’t exercise, the libido definitely had a chance to grow.
  3. I have not done a good job of consistent sleep schedule. I do think the 7 hours is a good thing, and it seems to help keep me on track when I’m being disciplined about it.
  4. The Vitex has definitely helped–hard to believe! I experienced my first testicular pain after three weeks of abstinence, rather than the usual 7-10 days, and even then it was mild. It also went away after a day, and then came back periodically, but never all day. Then when I stopped taking Vitex for three days, in false anticipation of a green light day, I had intense, constant pain for four days until we could finally have sex. That particular abstinence period was four weeks, two days of sex, then another two and half weeks. The Vitex, and perhaps the licorice, which I took starting week two, definitely eased the pain and perhaps even made my libido milder.
  5. The three drink limit also definitely works. When I went over the limit on a couple occasions, I felt distinctly more sexual desire in the following days. It’s possible that this also made the blue balls worse, too, but I can’t be sure, since they were never too terrible while using Vitex.
  6. Also works, and when a green light day was approaching and I thought it would be OK to watch a sexy, artsy movie–that was a really bad decision. We abstinence athletes have to be much more ascetic about what we watch than other people. Even what is perfectly acceptable and innocently beautiful can make things really hard for us.
Now that I’m back in a long abstinence stretch, I’m having to renew the disciplines especially of taking the Vitex every morning before breakfast, keeping my rule of life without much variation, and keeping drinking to a minimum. I know it works–I just have to do it!
 
rjm54 said:
  1. Exercise going as planned. It’s generally healthy, though I don’t think it makes a huge difference one way or the other.
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I’ve found that it does help, BUT the intensity of the exercise matters. To give the extreme example, I’ve done multi-day, nonstop training (breaks only for meals) with 6-7 hours of sleep. The thought of sex doesn’t even enter my mind when doing those sessions. But on a more achievable level, an hour and a half of, say, sparring has a similar effect…too tired to think about sex.
 
rjm54 said:
Here’s an update on my lifestyle changes, over two months in:
  1. Gave up caffeine two months ago. Doesn’t seem to have an effect on libido, but I’m definitely somewhat more mellow, which also means I don’t finish the week ready to tie one on. Which is important, see below.
  2. Exercise going as planned. It’s generally healthy, though I don’t think it makes a huge difference one way or the other. What does make a difference is lying around doing nothing, and when I stayed home from work with a cold and didn’t exercise, the libido definitely had a chance to grow.
  3. I have not done a good job of consistent sleep schedule. I do think the 7 hours is a good thing, and it seems to help keep me on track when I’m being disciplined about it.
  4. The Vitex has definitely helped–hard to believe! I experienced my first testicular pain after three weeks of abstinence, rather than the usual 7-10 days, and even then it was mild. It also went away after a day, and then came back periodically, but never all day. Then when I stopped taking Vitex for three days, in false anticipation of a green light day, I had intense, constant pain for four days until we could finally have sex. That particular abstinence period was four weeks, two days of sex, then another two and half weeks. The Vitex, and perhaps the licorice, which I took starting week two, definitely eased the pain and perhaps even made my libido milder.
  5. The three drink limit also definitely works. When I went over the limit on a couple occasions, I felt distinctly more sexual desire in the following days. It’s possible that this also made the blue balls worse, too, but I can’t be sure, since they were never too terrible while using Vitex.
  6. Also works, and when a green light day was approaching and I thought it would be OK to watch a sexy, artsy movie–that was a really bad decision. We abstinence athletes have to be much more ascetic about what we watch than other people. Even what is perfectly acceptable and innocently beautiful can make things really hard for us.
Now that I’m back in a long abstinence stretch, I’m having to renew the disciplines especially of taking the Vitex every morning before breakfast, keeping my rule of life without much variation, and keeping drinking to a minimum. I know it works–I just have to do it!
Click to expand...
Goodness gracious me,,,,,, think I need 3 Hail Marys myself,,,,
 
Rau said:
Ditto. Question to the “blue balls” sufferers - did you suffer this condition before you married?
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HA HA , I guess maybe not,because old faithful was always Handy,
 
Withdrawal is not a sin provided that you have a good reason in regards to spacing or limiting births.The Church(the laity as Vatican II described it) reject the nonsense from celibates that every contraceptive act is immoral.Form your conscience,scripture also says nothing because its up to the married couple. the story of onan had to be abandoned because modern scholarship hailed onan got killed for failing to foster a son for his deceased brothers wife
 
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