How to address a Priest...?

[happysam]

Hi,

I have a question with regards to addressing a Priest. My girlfriend is a devout Catholic, and I am an athiest.

I am working on a work project with a Priest at the moment and am unsure how to address him (and would rather not ask him directly). I would feel uncomfortable using the title ‘father’ as I am not Catholic and it feels a little strange for me to do that. My girlfriend thinks it is offensive for me just to call him sir or by his name though.

So now I am unsure whether to call him Sir or by his name (and risk offending him and my girlfriend), or call him father (which makes me feel uneasy due to my own beliefs and opinions).

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as I really don’t want to offend anyone.

 

[PAboy57]

In the business world we use Mr., Sir or just plain John. I’m sure his family and close friends don’t call him Father. I wish you didn’t believe the way you do but that is the subject of another post. Maybe working closely with this priest will move you in another direction. I admire your desire to be respectful and not offend. Take care and good luck on your project.

 

[kristie_m]

For me, I look at it as a title…the same way I would call a physician “doctor” or a Jewish teacher “Rabbi”. I suspect, though, that despite your discomfort in doing so, the priest in question might appreciate you simply asking him how he would like to be addressed.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Father is a title just like Doctor, Judge, or Professor. Unless I know someone well enough to be asked to call him or her something else, I’d address the folks above as Father Smith, Doctor Smith, Judge Smith, or Professor Smith.

 

[happysam]

In the business world we use Mr., Sir or just plain John. I’m sure his family and close friends don’t call him Father. I wish you didn’t believe the way you do but that is the subject of another post. Maybe working closely with this priest will move you in another direction. I admire your desire to be respectful and not offend. Take care and good luck on your project.

Thanks all for the advice, and without going off topic I think it’s nice we all believe different things. Makes life interesting.

I think my problem with calling him ‘father’ is just that it feels to me that I am going against my beliefs as an atheist to acknowledge his title, and that in some way I am agreeing with the faith.

 

[kristie_m]

Thanks all for the advice, and without going off topic I think it’s nice we all believe different things. Makes life interesting.

I think my problem with calling him ‘father’ is just that it feels to me that I am going against my beliefs as an atheist to acknowledge his title, and that in some way I am agreeing with the faith.

I’m a republican, but if I were addressing the president, I would still call him “Mr. President.” You don’t have to agree with his beliefs to use the title.

 

[happysam]

I’m a republican, but if I were addressing the president, I would still call him “Mr. President.” You don’t have to agree with his beliefs to use the title.

But his title is official and he has jurisdiction over you. He is ‘your’ President. I have no ties to the Catholic faith, nor am I a Catholic, so perhaps in this case the title need not apply?

 

[Trishie]

Why not be straightforward and tell the priest you are uncomfortable about addressing him as ‘father’ and let him guide you. You are clearly someone with integrity, so just put this into practice in this case also, by honestly expressing your reservation. It’s then up to him to provide something agreeable to you both. You are respectful in your intention, and you have an honest nature, obviously, and that also is to be respected.

 

[St_Gabriel]

How about Reverend?

 

[fons_vitae]

But his title is official and he has jurisdiction over you. He is ‘your’ President. I have no ties to the Catholic faith, nor am I a Catholic, so perhaps in this case the title need not apply?

I’d still call a Jewish rabbi “Rabbi,” I’d call a foreign potentate “Your Majesty,” and I’d even call the Dalai Lama “Your Holiness.” It doesn’t automatically make me a Jew, Buddhist, or a citizen of another country. Then again, I like to be formal when I can anyway.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Reverend is the proper address. Christians call the priests Father because they nourish our spiritual lives as our biological fathers nourish our natural lives. Since you are not Catholic, the proper address is Reverend .

 

[prbarrera]

The formal address to a priest is Reverend Father.

Sometimes, the word Reverend is also used without the word Father (I see these often in most notices or writings). However, the said word Reverend is also used in deacons. If I am correct, the transitional deacons (those who will pursue the priesthood, as permanent deacons are addressed as Reverend Mister).

In other Christian denominations, besides being called Pastor, the word Reverend is also used.

Anyway, even Catholics use the word pastor for a priest (even for a bishop), as they are Pastors (Shepherds) of their flock.

The polite way of asking would be, “Hello. I am a Christian from (state denomination), How may I address you?”

A priest may say, “anyway you like. But most of the folks me call me Father.”

Of course, the word Father may be discussion from the Bible, in which the priest may prepare an answer for that, which I hope and pray would not lead to an argument instead.

You may also ask again, “with all due respect, may call you Reverend?”

And I hope and pray it would be a good dialogue to happen.