How to advise a sister?

  • Thread starter Thread starter abinjoy
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Knowing now that the OP is male sheds new light on this situation.

A question to the OP (you don’t have to answer on this forum, but this may be something to reflect on and bring up to your priest, therapist or spiritual director): do you have feelings for this sister?

The reason I ask is because your behavior reflects a bit of control… wanting to control what she wears, what she posts and how her community is dealing with it and forming her… even to the extent of wanting to control her formation. Not healthy for you, her or her community.
 
macstar said:
Knowing now that the OP is male sheds new light on this situation.

A question to the OP (you don’t have to answer on this forum, but this may be something to reflect on and bring up to your priest, therapist or spiritual director): do you have feelings for this sister?

The reason I ask is because your behavior reflects a bit of control… wanting to control what she wears, what she posts and how her community is dealing with it and forming her… even to the extent of wanting to control her formation. Not healthy for you, her or her community.
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Well there is something weird going on no doubt, and I agree it is way unhealthy for all involved.

I have my own suspicions but won’t speculate out loud on what they are, but the OP needs an urgent chat with his spiritual director (if he has one), pastor, or confessor.
 
OraLabora said:
Well there is something weird going on no doubt, and I agree it is way unhealthy for all involved.

I have my own suspicions but won’t speculate out loud on what they are, but the OP needs an urgent chat with his spiritual director (if he has one), pastor, or confessor.
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Amen.
 
johnnyc176 said:
Well as abinjoy pointed out the director might be lacking proper catechesis.
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That would be extremely unlikely in a religious order or congregation for someone in that position. The novice master at our abbey is a priest, and is also the prior of the community, second to the abbot and is a man of solid and proven orthodoxy. Anybody put in the position of forming postulants and novices will him or herself be fully formed as well.

It is highly inappropriate to suggest that a religious formation director has poor catechesis.

Sure everyone makes mistakes, but being poorly catechized isn’t a simple “mistake”. It would suggest a much more troubling issue with the community and quite frankly, I think it is the OP that has a troubling issue, not the community.
 
Thanks Bonnie,
Thanks Lightbound,
Thanks Allegra,
Thanks macstar,
Thanks Marie5890,
Thanks OraLabora,
Thanks bluerose,
Thanks MaryT777,
 
johnnyc176 said:
Well as abinjoy pointed out the director might be lacking proper catechesis… So I agree with the Franciscan Nun who pointed out that clergy and religious are human and can make mistakes and it is our duty to correct.

But it’s been a great conversation and I’m glad abinjoy brought the topic to the forefront. No telling how many are looking into the virtue of modesty issue because of it.
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Thanks Johnnyc for your (name removed by moderator)uts
 
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