How to affectionately disagree with same-sex marriage?

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Hello, everyone!
As of late, I’ve become burdened by the fact that I would not know how to tell someone the faults in same-sex marriage. Unfortunately, some Catholics/Christians conduct themselves very poorly when it comes to rejecting homosexuality. Picket signs that depict slander and hatred towards them is definitely not the right way to do it… The Catechism clearly states that homosexuals are beautiful souls of God and they are meant to profess God’s word just as we are. We should treat them with as much love and respect as someone who is not homosexual.

So, my question is: How do I tell someone (homosexual, non-Catholic/Christian) that same-sex marriage is wrong? How do I get past the whole “financial and state benefits” of it all? That seems to be the only thing they are after.

Thank you for your responses! God Bless!
 
The only group that I know that carries hateful picket signs against gays is the Wesboro Baptist Church, which is basically one family, and nobody takes them seriously.

As for marriage, I would simply point out that since the beginning of civilizations, marriage has been a conjugal insitution, i.e., a union of sexually complementary individuals, for the purpose of family formation and the raising of children.

To be conjugal means to engage in sexual union within the institution of marriage–marital intercourse. Marital intercourse requires sexual complementarity. If marital intercourse is impossible, so is marriage. That is why permanently impotent individuals cannot be married–because there is no possibility of marital intercourse.

Now, same sex couples are by definition not capable of marital intercourse, because they are not sexually complementary. That means that marriage is inherently impossible for them.
 
Hello, everyone!
As of late, I’ve become burdened by the fact that I would not know how to tell someone the faults in same-sex marriage. Unfortunately, some Catholics/Christians conduct themselves very poorly when it comes to rejecting homosexuality. Picket signs that depict slander and hatred towards them is definitely not the right way to do it… The Catechism clearly states that homosexuals are beautiful souls of God and they are meant to profess God’s word just as we are. We should treat them with as much love and respect as someone who is not homosexual.

So, my question is: How do I tell someone (homosexual, non-Catholic/Christian) that same-sex marriage is wrong? How do I get past the whole “financial and state benefits” of it all? That seems to be the only thing they are after.

Thank you for your responses! God Bless!
I think you are misinformed, there aren’t any Catholic-advocated groups picketing or displaying hateful slogans. Andy groups doing so and claiming to be Catholic are no better than the politicians who claim to be Catholic and advocate for abortion and same-sex "marriage. We pray for your homosexual brothers and sisters, and we offer them advice and acceptance. It is not the person we detest, but the sin they commit.

You are completely correct in what you take form the Catechism, and I have never seen an informed and practicing Catholic acting contrary to that teaching.

As for telling them it’s wrong, it’s simple.

A man and a man cannot naturally conceive a child, nor can a woman and a woman. As such, they are violating the most basic principles of nature which have allowed our species, and every species, to continue their existence since the first advanced life developed out of the primordial ooze.

If they attempt to counter by saying that homosexuality happens in nature, so it has to be okay, ask them is eating your own child, or any fellow human, is okay; because that also happens in nature. As does murder, mind control, etc. (there’s a species insect that literally mind-controls and ant to it’s death… it’s frightening). When they say that those examples don’t apply ask them why not? You are justifying an unnatural act by saying it happens in nature, the same as them. When they say those things are just wrong, tell them that they know those actions are wrong because they violate a truth they cannot put to words, just as homosexuality violates a truth that cannot easily be put to words.

They likely won’t listen to you, but your job is not to force them from their ways, but rather to teach them. They now know the truth, it’s up to them to decide what to do with it.

As for the benefits argument, it’s a load of hogwash. Married couples receive benefits because they contribute to society in the from of offspring to continue and add to that society. As stated, homosexual couplings are incapable of this. They do no add to the society, so why should the receive the same benefits as those who do? You will probably get two responses to this:

#1: What about people who get married but don’t have kids? The answer is, they should also not receive benefits, for the exact same reason. Government just chooses not distinguish, which is a mistake.

or

#2: What about couple who CAN’T have kids? Should they be denied benefits as well? The answer to this is definitively no. There is a distinct difference between making a decision not to have children and being unable to do so through no fault of your own. These people should not be denied benefits because it isn’t their fault they can’t conceive. They didn’t make the choice, it was forced on them. Free will was not engaged in any sort of decision, so they cannot be faulted for it. It’s similar to the distinction between someone who CANNOT work, and someone who CHOOSES not to. Someone who cannot should get help and aide fro the government, someone who chooses not to should be cut off.

If benefits are the only thing they’re after, tell them that as soon as mother nature decides they can have kids, and as soon as the two of them together are capable of providing for the psychological needs of a child to have a mother AND a father, then they can have benefits. (note, I make the distinction of mother nature, because humanity, in it’s infinite hubris and desire to cut off ties with God completely, is currently trying devise abhorrent technologies which will allow men to bear children… It’s disgusting really…)

I hope this helps, and remember, true Catholics do not spout hate, we only try to help. People who do such things do not understand the church they claim to be a part of.
 
Destroy their errors without any mercy using reason tempered with charity. And no, I’m being paradoxical.
 
Maggie Gallagher (National Organization of Marriage) in an interview I heard seemed to say it is okay to avoid talking about this, we can use our voice in the voting booth. I enjoy reading discussions on the net and may even contribute but I’m not so sure if I would in “real life”, if I were to debate it with someone. Too, I have heard of some people avoiding talking about because it is “divisive and painful” to some.
 
I have no idea how you would go about doing it. For myself, at this point in my life, I do not feel as though I need to tell any gay people they should not get married. I have 2 friends who are very close friends and are gay, one has a live in boyfriend (they might be ‘married’, I don’t know). I simply interact with them showing them dignity and respect the same way I would show anyone else dignity and respect. In particular because of how good they behave in relation to our friendship (they are friends of mine through my wife). They are kind and caring people who go to great lengths to help others. The world would be a much better place if more people treated people the way they do.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the matter. Sorry for going off topic but I’m not in a place to inform gays not to be married or the Catholic religion doesn’t allow it. I have enough on my plate in sorting out my own life and improving as a husband and father and employee. Maybe I’m wrong for not saying anything but that is where I’m at at this time on that issue.

Are Catholics ‘compelled’ to tell gay peple it is wrong for them to marry? Can I not love my (gay) neighbor as myself and focus on getting my own life in order since I have just recently rediscovered my faith and went to confession for the first time in 17 years about 5 months ago and am wrorking on not sinning myself, etc…

God Bless,
Bill
 
Are Catholics ‘compelled’ to tell gay peple it is wrong for them to marry? Can I not love my (gay) neighbor as myself and focus on getting my own life in order since I have just recently rediscovered my faith and went to confession for the first time in 17 years about 5 months ago and am wrorking on not sinning myself, etc…
Congrats on rediscovering your faith and returning to Confession. That’s awesome! 👍

That’s a good question. I think we need to avoid both extremes. On the one hand, our Catholic faith does not impel us to endlessly berate every person we come into conact with for all of their sins. Who could pass that test not to warrant ourselves such berating? On the other hand, we cannot remain so silent regarding out faith than no one even recognizes that we have any.

What you are doing so far sounds good. Just because someone is gay and/or living the gay lifestyle doesn’t mean it needs to be the focal point of all our interactions with them. They deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, just like anyone does. But perhaps there might come a time in the future that an opportunity presents itself to share the Catholic teaching on marriage (in a charitable and non-combative way, of course). We should be attentive to such opportunities when they arise.

Being able to recognize those opportunities and use them well requires prayer and discernment. Getting our own life in order is the first step. I think the upcoming “Year of Faith” starting on October 11th is a great opportunity for that. I feel like the Holy Father is calling all Catholics to really grow in their faith this year so that we’ll emerge from it ready for the task of the new evangelization. We can’t give what we don’t have. So we want to be holy people of faith and prayer who can invite people to follow Jesus without coming across as crochety or disingenuous.
 
Jennifer Roback Morse, Phd
Same Sex Marriage: Why Not? (Part 1 of 4) youtube.com/watch?v=osCnn-ATrcI
Same Sex Marriage: Why Not? (Part 2 of 4) youtube.com/watch?v=ZdzCFMCsIb4
Same Sex Marriage: Why Not? (Part 3 of 4) youtube.com/watch?v=atsAiYpyI9M&feature=related
Same Sex Marriage: Why Not? (Part 4 of 4) youtube.com/watch?v=VwyOHhJAYko&feature=related

Besides, SS"M" would be unconstitutional:
Marriage is the first, and the greatest guarantor of human equality in history.
Marriage is the constitutional construct creating a place for men in family and society.
Why Roe v. Wade makes same-sex marriage unconstitutional
Marriage as a natural equal-rights institution: parallels in racial-equality decisions.
Same-sex marriage is a contradictory construct because it segregates by sex.
Proponents of same-sex marriage are selling gender segregation
Same-Sex marriage and civil unions: replacing welfare and marriage with “super-families”
 
The parts don’t fit becaus they weren’t designed to. Consumation is part of marriage. Same sex- no go.
 
Just because someone is gay and/or living the gay lifestyle doesn’t mean it needs to be the focal point of all our interactions with them. They deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, just like anyone does. But perhaps there might come a time in the future that an opportunity presents itself to share the Catholic teaching on marriage (in a charitable and non-combative way, of course). We should be attentive to such opportunities when they arise.

Being able to recognize those opportunities and use them well requires prayer and discernment. We can’t give what we don’t have. So we want to be holy people of faith and prayer who can invite people to follow Jesus without coming across as crochety or disingenuous.
Joe,
Thanks for the feedback. Your post made a lot of sense. I clipped out the parts that I felt spoke mostly to where I am at and what approach I might take. I simply don’t think it’s appropriate, particularly since I’m just a new Catholic again mysel, to step up on a podium and directing others about how they shoud be lving.

And you make a geat point about there being a time and a place for everything. Looking for that ‘teachable moment’ I’ve heard it referred to in the secular world. When a person may be particularly recptive to such a conversation, rather that behaving like a bull in a china shop, spouting out Catholic Policy anywhere and everywhere without regard for respecting others lives and what they may have going on at the moment. In fact, I can see that approach having a negative impact, the person could cut their relationship with you, or more firmly resolve in their belief system based on being offended by the way the presenter of the info conducted themselves.

I, myself, have dismissed ideas simply because of the crass behavior of the preson presenting the ideas. Their manner and personality and approach turned me off so much I blocked out everything they had to say as a way to sort of preserve my own sanity in the moment.

Thanks again for the reply,
God Bless,
Bill
 
well you could start off by tellin em about how the Church has always advocated for the dignity and vocation of homosexuals

i recommend

Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition To Unions Between Homosexual Persons - CDF 6/2003

Family, Marriage and “De Facto” Unions - PCF 7/2000

Letter to The bishops of The Catholic Church on The Pastoral Care of homosexual Persons - CDF

I believe this one also has mention of this:

The Role of The Christian Family in the Modern World - PJII 11/1981

hope this helps

Shalom
God bless you on journey:thumbsup:
 
The parts don’t fit becaus they weren’t designed to. Consumation is part of marriage. Same sex- no go.
That pretty much sums it up. Without sexual complementarity there can be no conjugal life, no marital relations, and no marriage. It’s an impossibility.
 
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