How to anticipate sexual frequency before marriage?

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Eccp10

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Hi,

I am curious if there is anyway to know before marriage how often my wife and I would want to have relations? This is assuming we are both physically fit, and have integrated our beings very well with the moral theology of the church. If this is the case, is it quite likely that we would want to come together every day?

Thanks!
 
Eccp10 said:
Hi,

I am curious if there is anyway to know before marriage how often my wife and I would want to have relations? This is assuming we are both physically fit, and have integrated our beings very well with the moral theology of the church. If this is the case, is it quite likely that we would want to come together every day?

Thanks!
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The starting frequency does tend to be high. But it is unlikely to remain the same, thanks to a variety of external circumstances (health, work, children, etc.)

In my experience it’s one of those things spouses learn as they go.
 
There are many, many factors that figure into the “rate”. You can’t know for sure how often, and it changes with time. Having children; working (or not working); physical factors; economic factors; emotional factors - everything makes a difference, especially to the average woman.

The best thing to do is study Theology of the Body, ask EACH OTHER intimate questions about your expectations/wants/needs, and take it from there. Chances are that what you EXPECT to be the norm actually really isn’t.
 
Alao, before marriage, you can sort of get a read on how touchy-feely a person is, how physically interested they seem, how they react to being sick or stressed, how good their affectionate communication level is. (Do they push too much? Do they respond to your body language?) Just another piece of information to have.

Normal, healthy levels of sexual activity vary WIDELY, so I wouldn’t be shooting for any arbitrary goal.
 
Why are you curious?
Let things happen naturally, eh?
Love is not the same every time for anyone.
 
If you’re a man, it won’t be frequent enough.
If you’re a woman, it will be as frequent as you like it to be.

😉

I’m halfway joking. The other answers are correct. It varies wildly between different couples and will change over time. A lot of it depends on your age.

Most important is to talk. Nothing worse than getting angry at your spouse when she has no idea there is even a problem 😊. You tend to learn as you go.
 
It’s not uncommon for everything to change when it comes to sex once a couple is married. Between NFP, first time experiences, and getting over any reservations from previous experiences, it’s nearly impossible to predict. Focus more on finding someone who you can commit yourself to matter what health or misfortunes come your and her way.
 
You probably can’t, and trying to do so might lead to unrealized expectations.
 
Eccp10 said:
Hi,

I am curious if there is anyway to know before marriage how often my wife and I would want to have relations? This is assuming we are both physically fit, and have integrated our beings very well with the moral theology of the church. If this is the case, is it quite likely that we would want to come together every day?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
That will likely be dictated by your family planning choices. Once learning NFP before marriage, it’s not a bad idea to start practicing your rhythms for the first few months of marriage before trying for a baby. If you want to start trying immediately and have been abstinent before marriage, it most probably will be a free for all month or two to be savoured.
 
Eccp10 said:
Hi,

I am curious if there is anyway to know before marriage how often my wife and I would want to have relations? This is assuming we are both physically fit, and have integrated our beings very well with the moral theology of the church. If this is the case, is it quite likely that we would want to come together every day?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
There is no way to know beforehand. It varies. The first year of our marriage frequency was 3 times per day, more on the weekends. I was surprised reading other accounts that frequency can be much, much less than that. I thought frequency would likely drop off in middle age. My wife says I’m the luckiest guy in the world because as we approach 25 years of marriage, we still make love every night, sometimes in the morning as well. I would never have anticipated that. We do have a large family to show for it too! 😃 That said, there were times when frequency was less due to fatigue from babies, work, illness, etc.
 
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