How to approach mother-in-law about needing annullment to enter the church

[MissMolly]

My Mother-in-law is currently in the RCIA program at our local parish and planning to be confirmed at the Easter Vigil this year. She has been married and divorced, and my Father-in-law, who is a practicing Catholic has also been married and divorced. Neither of them have received an annulment for their previous marriages. They were married 4 years ago, it was a ceremony on the beach, even though my FIL is a practicing Catholic and has no intentions of having his previous marriage annulled. It sounds like whomever is running the RCIA program has not informed her that she really cannot fully enter the church and receive her first communion at the easter vigil due to her current marital state. How do I approach her about this?

 

[MaryT777]

It’s interesting to me this seems to be coming up on this forum a few times that people are in RCIA and have irregular marriages they seem to have not been told about the proper process.

I look forward to the advice from those better able to give it than me.

Mary.

 

[1ke]

I would talk to the RCIA coordinator and pastor and ask them what their process is for interviewing candidates and determining who has marriage issues at the beginning of RCIA, and then suggest that perhaps there are some holes in their process and that they should make an effort ASAP to talk to all those in RCIA regarding irregular marriages.

If it is not my parish, I would encourage MIL and FIL to make an appointment with their pastor to discuss their prior marriages.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Someone in the RCIA process failed to ask her about her marriage? It sounds as though you perhaps do not have the closest relationship with this couple. Perhaps you should discuss this with your pastor. It is really his responsibility. Make it clear that you are not tattling, but rather are just concerned about the salvation of this couple.

 

[4love2God]

Well, good golly, MissMolly . . . you are in a most precarious position.
The Easter Vigil Mass is less than 40 days away, and (due to a screw-up somewhere), MIL’s Catholic conversion has a STOPPER in it.

I certainly agree with your analysis of the situation : **"It sounds like whomever is running the RCIA program has not informed her that she really cannot fully enter the church and receive her first communion at the Easter vigil due to her current marital state. How do I approach her about this? **

Well, at one level, you can do NOTHING, and still be acting honorably (you are not anointed to convict people of their mis-behaviors).
Or, you can hand her a pamphlet (or computer print-out) explaining about the Catholic Church’s position on the matter.
Or, like 1ke said, contact the RCIA (or her Pastor), and clue them in on the general Problem.
Or, actually tell the Pastor that the RCIA has mis-handled their duty to inform, and tell him about your particular situation.

Whatever you choose to do, please do it quickly. Or else, it might turn out like a scene in a Movie : at the Wedding, the Pastor says, "If anyone knows a reason why this Marriage should NOT take place, state it now …"
So, the time before she attempts to receive Communion, is the ONLY time to resolve this issue … if you feel like you have to resolve it.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

What does your husband say about this? I would normally leave mother-in-law issues up to my husband since he has the closer relationship with his mother.