How to approach my crunchy neighbor with a problem?

[puzzleannie]

. I don’t know your neighbor so I can’t advise you on how to approach her… maybe an anonymous call to the authorities would be easier.
.

forget anonymous, go down to the police station and swear out a formal complaint

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

forget anonymous, go down to the police station and swear out a formal complaint

I would do that AFTER more friendly means had been exhausted. This may just be one big miscommunication. The neighbor may assume that because the OP didn’t argue/complain when this was talked about that the OP is ok with it. She needs to be set straight.

 

[ecp007]

I love the USA & miss my home!

But honestly, reading this post and all the mean, un-neighborly and simply un-Christian replies, makes me relieved I live in Asia…

Here there are dogs, and cats (and cows, and chickens and monkeys) running around everywhere in this city. … even in my kids’ school yard during PE

It is a totally metropolitan city, with highrises, and mega malls, and 1.5M people, … But you know, people just live and let live. It is much less stressful. There are no leash laws, no pooper scoopers, very few fences… and nobody gets diseased from the animals, and the animals are happier…they never fight.

I am not an animal lover and I’m certainly NOT ‘crunchy’, I eat steak and would be happy to have a fur, but you know just leave your neighbor alone, pet the dog when he comes over, and teach your kids to WATCH THEIR STEP. That dog might save you from a burglar or bark for a fire …

When you have a choice in life… choose to be nice:shrug:

 

[Jennifer_J]

I love the USA & miss my home!

But honestly, reading this post and all the mean, un-neighborly and simply un-Christian replies, makes me relieved I live in Asia…most were meant to be funny I don’t think anyone was really mean or un-neighborly, but it certainly IS un-neighborly to let your pet poop in someone elses yard and NOT clean it up!!!

Here there are dogs, and cats (and cows, and chickens and monkeys) running around everywhere in this city. … even in my kids’ school yard during PE

It is a totally metropolitan city, with highrises, and mega malls, and 1.5M people, … But you know, people just live and let live. It is much less stressful. There are no leash laws, no pooper scoopers, very few fences… and nobody gets diseased from the animalsBird flu?, and the animals are happier…they never fight.ummm, okay, I don’t buy that for a minute,

I am not an animal lover and I’m certainly NOT ‘crunchy’, I eat steak and would be happy to have a fur, but you know just leave your neighbor alone, pet the dog when he comes over, and teach your kids to WATCH THEIR STEP. That dog might save you from a burglar or bark for a fire … While it’s certainly good to watch your step, expecting young children to be conscientious enough to do that is a bit much. It’s just neighborly to NOT let your dog poop in people’s yards, or to at least clean up after your dog. It certainly IS possible to catch worms and other disease from dog poop, esp for young children who don’t know any better than to touch it

When you have a choice in life… choose to be nice:shrug: no one advocated being mean (aside from the joking), but letting your dog go potty and not clean up, isn’t exactly nice, either

 

[manualman]

There is nothing natural about a domesticated dog’s poop habits. Wild dogs roam hundreds of acres and leave behind an extremely dilute waste pattern. Pet dogs are confined to small areas, which makes their waste build up to way unnatural levels.

It is no more natural or sanitary to leave pet dog poop all over than it would be to abandon your toilet and dig a new ‘cat hole’ in the yard every time YOU need to go. The reason we live so long in America is because of good sanitation practices. Go visit small village Africa sometime if you want to see what comes from unnatural concentrations of poop in the environment.

The above conversation could be civil if you are careful.

 

[ecp007]

…most were meant to be funny I don’t think anyone was really mean or un-neighborly,

Someone suggested reporting the neighbor to the police, or issuing a citation… puhlease!

but it certainly IS un-neighborly to let your pet poop in someone elses yard and NOT clean it up!!!

why??? Don’t birds poop on your car, and squirrels, and chipmunks in your yard, or do we just want to elliminate all non-human animals from cities… the poop will go away when it rains. Also, if you leave the poop there, the dog won’t go back to the same place. By removing it every time, then he is forced to return to mark his territory… you are going against nature.

and the animals are happier…they never fight.ummm, okay, I don’t buy that for a minute,

It’s TRUE! The dogs here are like outside cats. The people just let them roam during the day… And 3 or 4dogs will get together , and honestlly I am not joking, you can see each dog coming from a different direction, and they meet at a certain time. And hang out, having a dog party. They may copulate (which I must admit is quite unsightly) but in almost 2 years, I have NEVER seen 1 dog or cat fight, NEVER. When I pointed it out to my husband he thought I was crazy, but after being here almost 2 years, he had to admit that it is true. I think it is because the dogs aren’t all fenced up. Dogs are pack animals, so they enjoy hanging around with other dogs, so they are WAY happier… and don’t bark as much either.

… While it’s certainly good to watch your step, expecting young children to be conscientious enough to do that is a bit much. It’s just neighborly to NOT let your dog poop in people’s yards, or to at least clean up after your dog. It certainly IS possible to catch worms and other disease from dog poop, esp for young children who don’t know any better than to touch it

So the kids step in poop, then they wash their shoes off with a hose. What is the big deal? Didn’t that happen to you when you were little? And how young are the kids to be playing outside unsupervised? If they are young enough not to know not to pick up poop, then they shouldn’t be by themselves in the front yard without a fence? They’ll run in the street and get run over!

By the way, they did a study, and the reason why kids in cities have a higher incidence of athsma than rural kids, isn’t because of the pollution, but actually because of the lack of parasites.

no one advocated being mean (aside from the joking), but letting your dog go potty and not clean up, isn’t exactly nice, either

Honestly, you should try the “Live and let live” approach. It is WAY less stressful.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

Someone suggested reporting the neighbor to the police, or issuing a citation… puhlease!

why??? Don’t birds poop on your car, and squirrels, and chipmunks in your yard, or do we just want to elliminate all non-human animals from cities… the poop will go away when it rains. Also, if you leave the poop there, the dog won’t go back to the same place. By removing it every time, then he is forced to return to mark his territory… you are going against nature.

It’s TRUE! The dogs here are like outside cats. The people just let them roam during the day… And 3 or 4dogs will get together , and honestlly I am not joking, you can see each dog coming from a different direction, and they meet at a certain time. And hang out, having a dog party. They may copulate (which I must admit is quite unsightly) but in almost 2 years, I have NEVER seen 1 dog or cat fight, NEVER. When I pointed it out to my husband he thought I was crazy, but after being here almost 2 years, he had to admit that it is true. I think it is because the dogs aren’t all fenced up. Dogs are pack animals, so they enjoy hanging around with other dogs, so they are WAY happier… and don’t bark as much either.

So the kids step in poop, then they wash their shoes off with a hose. What is the big deal? Didn’t that happen to you when you were little? And how young are the kids to be playing outside unsupervised? If they are young enough not to know not to pick up poop, then they shouldn’t be by themselves in the front yard without a fence? They’ll run in the street and get run over!

By the way, they did a study, and the reason why kids in cities have a higher incidence of athsma than rural kids, isn’t because of the pollution, but actually because of the lack of parasites.

Honestly, you should try the “Live and let live” approach. It is WAY less stressful.

Are you smoking something?!

I don’t like dogs. It is my right to not like dogs. Keep your slobbering, shedding, smelly, lawn-fouling, leg-humping, toddler-mauling menaces out of my yard, or I will see to it that you wish you had.

 

[SeekerJen]

Are you smoking something?!

I don’t like dogs. It is my right to not like dogs. Keep your slobbering, shedding, smelly, lawn-fouling, leg-humping, toddler-mauling menaces out of my yard, or I will see to it that you wish you had.

Well said. I can tolerate other people’s dogs. I don’t have one myself because I don’t want one. So by extension, I don’t want to clean up after other people’s dogs. I don’t want other people’s dogs in my yard. I don’t want to step in other people’s dogs’ droppings in my own yard. (Commenting that wild animals leave droppings is a non-argument. None of us choose to have those animals in residence on our property. People choose to own dogs and choose to train/leash them or not.) I don’t want my yard torn up. I don’t want my two house cats and house rabbit sent into a panic because a strange animal is marking the yard. And I certainly don’t want to be responsible for killing a loose dog that has run out into the street. My neighbors refuse to leash their dogs and refuse to train them. The dogs can jump the fence and have ended up blocks away before being caught. One of the dogs was finally killed when he jumped the fence, ran into a busy road, and was hit by a car.

My solution to the OP’s problem would be to scoop all of the droppings up and pile them on the offending neighbor’s porch with a note saying that since they paid for the dog food, they should get maximum dollar benefit out of the natural fertilizer. I don’t think I would hesitate to print off a copy of the town’s animal control ordinance, either, and leave that with the note.

 

[manualman]

By the way, they did a study, and the reason why kids in cities have a higher incidence of athsma than rural kids, isn’t because of the pollution, but actually because of the lack of parasites.

Honestly, you should try the “Live and let live” approach. It is WAY less stressful.

Uh, no. What study is that? The ones I’ve seen speculate that asthma prevalence is proportionate to cockroach populations. Many urban areas are more infested than the countryside (at least in climates with a real winter).

Google “cholera” for some interesting info on the matter of poop left willy nilly all over the place. Had a friend or family die of cholera lately? If not, give thanks for good sanitation practices.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I have a question for those crunchy people out there. My neighbor does not believe in picking after her dog because it is “natural”. I don’t have a problem with this if it was in her yard, but she lets her dog out in the front and the dog does it’s business in my yard.

Otherwise we have a good relationship, so I want to be carefull how I approach her. She is definitely on the crunchy side and that was the basis of our last conversation, so I think I need to approach it from that standpoint. I am almost to the point that I want to start picking it up and throwing on her front porch, but I figure I should try talking to her again first.

Thanks for your help.

Your neighbor’s brain is crunchy.
Call the town! They’ll know what to do with it.

 

[SeekerJen]

Uh, no. What study is that? The ones I’ve seen speculate that asthma prevalence is proportionate to cockroach populations. Many urban areas are more infested than the countryside (at least in climates with a real winter).

Tis true. I worked on an allergy/asthma immunology study of a largely urban population. Cockroach antigen is a widely accepted lab method for triggering lung inflammation in lab animals. Add to that the extra pollution from factories, automobiles, and the exhaust from the high concentration of housing, and you’ve got a recipe for asthma.

I think ecp is getting the urban asthma hypothesis tangled with the hygiene hypothesis, which postulates that first world kids are developing allergies at higher rates because their developing immune systems are exposed to fewer parasites and aren’t trained to respond to real pathogens.

 

[puzzleannie]

I would do that AFTER more friendly means had been exhausted. This may just be one big miscommunication. The neighbor may assume that because the OP didn’t argue/complain when this was talked about that the OP is ok with it. She needs to be set straight.

that is because you are an altogether nicer person than I, and actually, the police probably don’t even want to hear about this until you have exhausted normal neighborly communication. Just say NO.

 

[adelore]

I didn’t happen to read all the answers on this question, so please forgive me if my answer is a “Repeat”. (I’m working on my laptop and my battery is pretty low).

There happens to be a law, called “The Leash Law.” This means if people don’t keep their dogs fenced or chained up and their dog is running free (by the way this also pertains to Cats) they are “breaking the law”. (True some people use the wireless collars, but this again keeps the dog contained on the owners property.)

If their dog is “Running Free” and can mess in your yard, they are breaking the Leash Law. Period.

Try talking to your neighbor again. If this doesn’t work, **then scoop up the mess, place it in a plastic bag, and return it to the neighbor with a note attached, saying, “I thought you’d like your natural fert. back.” Please be advised although you do like this on your lawn I do not like it on mine. **

If this doesn’t work, then the next time call the Dog Warden. There is a law against letting a persons dog run Free.

There is no doubt that your neighbor has no respect for you or could careless about your civil rights or the Leash Law.

Not to mention the poor dog could possible get hit or cause a car accident. Many people have been sued due to dogs running free and causing car accidents.

 

[ack]

There happens to be a law, called “The Leash Law.” This means if people don’t keep their dogs fenced or chained up and their dog is running free (by the way this also pertains to Cats) they are “breaking the law”. (True some people use the wireless collars, but this again keeps the dog contained on the owners property.)

Again, this depends on the jurisdiction. The OP does not live in city limits and such a law may not exist.

I would just collect the poop and dump it in a pile in a prominent place on the neighbor’s lawn.

 

[Phemie]

By the way, they did a study, and the reason why kids in cities have a higher incidence of athsma than rural kids, isn’t because of the pollution, but actually because of the lack of parasites.

Honestly, you should try the “Live and let live” approach. It is WAY less stressful.

Obviously you’ve found a place to live that works for you and that is just great. We, OTOH, opt to live where we don’t impose our animals on other people. I wonder how my neighbor, whose dog is always allowed to run lose and poop in my driveway, would have felt about me dumping the contents of my pet rats’ cage on her lawn each time I cleaned it. Same difference.

As for asthma, my daughter was sickest with it when we lived out in the country, mostly due to the pesticides they sprayed on the surrounding crops. The absolute worse place was the considered the asthma capital of Canada, again due to the farming practices. Kids would be lined up in the respiratory technology unit of the local hospital waiting for nebulizer treatments.

 

[manualman]

As for asthma, my daughter was sickest with it when we lived out in the country, mostly due to the pesticides they sprayed on the surrounding crops. The absolute worse place was the considered the asthma capital of Canada, again due to the farming practices. Kids would be lined up in the respiratory technology unit of the local hospital waiting for nebulizer treatments.

Side bar, does not the famed Canadian National Health Care system provide home nebulizers and the meds for it?

 

[SeekerJen]

As for asthma, my daughter was sickest with it when we lived out in the country, mostly due to the pesticides they sprayed on the surrounding crops. The absolute worse place was the considered the asthma capital of Canada, again due to the farming practices. Kids would be lined up in the respiratory technology unit of the local hospital waiting for nebulizer treatments.

Yeah, good point. If you’re predisposed to asthma, anywhere there’s a lot of antigenic stuff in the air is bad news. My best friend has asthma that was bad, but largely under control until her job transferred her to southwestern Iowa. She was hospitalized twice with asthma attacks in less than a year. Funnily enough, she now lives and works on the campus of the major ag school here in Michigan and with good meds has her asthma under control again. I suspect the combination of fertilizers, crops, weather, and probably local flora/fauna/parasites is what’s toxic in some rural areas.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Someone suggested reporting the neighbor to the police, or issuing a citation… puhlease!Puhlease! yourself, not to be mean, but there are local ordinances to keep domesticated animals under control. I don’t own the dog, so why should I have to put up with a domesticated dog pooping in my yard (esp when I already take care of my own animal’s waste)? For nusaince violations, that’s what you do–be it unmown lawn, loose dog, or whatever, if contacting the neighbor isn’t working, then the authorities can be called. We choose to live in this society and people should follow the rules. it’s not that hard

why??? Don’t birds poop on your car, and squirrels, and chipmunks in your yard, or do we just want to elliminate all non-human animals from cities… the poop will go away when it rains. Also, if you leave the poop there, the dog won’t go back to the same place. By removing it every time, then he is forced to return to mark his territory… you are going against nature. As far as I know, dog poo doens’t necessarily mark territory, that’s more urine, I think. But it makes no difference, owning a dog is not “natural” so the order is already distrubed. If I don’t pick up after my dog, esp it it’s a large one, the rain doesn’t just wash it all away–it actually takes quite a bit of time and gets even messier!!! Naturally occuring poop is dealt with as needed–the small animals you refer to don’t leave that large of a mess, a dog, however, even the small ones, do.

It’s TRUE! The dogs here are like outside cats. The people just let them roam during the day… And 3 or 4dogs will get together , and honestlly I am not joking, you can see each dog coming from a different direction, and they meet at a certain time. And hang out, having a dog party. They may copulate (which I must admit is quite unsightly) but in almost 2 years, I have NEVER seen 1 dog or cat fight, NEVER. When I pointed it out to my husband he thought I was crazy, but after being here almost 2 years, he had to admit that it is true. I think it is because the dogs aren’t all fenced up. Dogs are pack animals, so they enjoy hanging around with other dogs, so they are WAY happier… and don’t bark as much either.
I have a cat and a dog that live in doors, they fight all the time. Dogs that roam free can form packs and can attack humans. Feral Cats form huge colonies and can breed huge numbers that can kill off bird populations. When my cat escapes, I have heard her fight other cats. They are very territorial. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean they don’t fight and dare say, they DO!

So the kids step in poop, then they wash their shoes off with a hose. What is the big deal? Didn’t that happen to you when you were little? And how young are the kids to be playing outside unsupervised? If they are young enough not to know not to pick up poop, then they shouldn’t be by themselves in the front yard without a fence? They’ll run in the street and get run over!My children are always supervised, however, young children often pick up things and put them in their mouth before you know it. yucko. It’s nice that you don’t want the children to be hit by a car, but it’s okay for the dog to be out running around and getting hit. Not in my book. Dogs are safer on leash and under control (ie trained to obey)

By the way, they did a study, and the reason why kids in cities have a higher incidence of athsma than rural kids, isn’t because of the pollution, but actually because of the lack of parasites.

Honestly, you should try the “Live and let live” approach. It is WAY less stressful.just an fyi, I’m not stressed, my neighbors are pretty good about keeping their dogs where they belong, as are we. I don’t want any dog to run up to my children and scare them and neither do I want my dog to bother somone else. common curtesy. I have no problem with live and let live, until someone decides that my lawn is a perfect potty for their dog–that’s a problem…

 

[Phemie]

Side bar, does not the famed Canadian National Health Care system provide home nebulizers and the meds for it?

As a general rule, no. Health care is a provincial jurisdiction. The provinces get funding from the federal government each year for health care and there are certain basic things that they have to offer at no cost: visits to the doctor, hospitalization as required, surgery, in hospital physiotherapy, in hospital inhalation therapy, etc.

Coverage for medications, OTOH, is left up to the province. I’ve lived in one where meds were covered, after you’d reached a certain expense limit; in one where medication was only covered for seniors (that’s the case in this province, IIRC); in two where no medication was covered for anyone, etc. We have insurance through work so that took care of renting a nebulizer when she started to require it every 4 hours, even when in school.

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m trying to think how we addressed this in PA…for a good long while, we had a neighbor, who allowed her dog to poop in our neighborhood, and others. We loved these people–they treated our kids like their own grandkids. It was definitely not easy to confront the issue. What bothered me, is that with such little kids (my kids were very young at the time) …crawling around and putting ‘stuff’ in their mouths, these neighbors should have been more considerate.

Why is that people who mind their own business, seem inconsiderate, when all they want is to have a poop free yard? I don’t own a dog, why should I be cleaning up my neighbors’ dogs’ messes? Should my toddler dd at the time, gone over to their yard, pulled her diaper off, and left a mess for them in their yard? lol

I think my dh finally went over there and explained things to them, and we were always still great friends…no hard feelings.

To the poster who lives in Asia–that is interesting. But, maybe our cultures, neighborhoods, etc just don’t match up in this way. I agree, that there’s no reason to lose sleep over it, but if it truly is bothersome and frequent – the neighbor should be able to tell the dog owner in a polite way–and if that dog owner cherishes the friendship, will curtail her dog from roaming in other’s yards.

It also isn’t wise to allow dogs to roam aimlessly here in Florida…people speed all the time here, and while it’s wrong, it happens…and often, dogs run away, and are killed on nearby highways. So, if I owned a dog, I wouldn’t let him roam all over the place…for safety reasons as well.

So the moral of the story–I think that if the OP and her neighbor are truly close friends, this issue if brought up in a kind way, shouldn’t break that friendship. If the dogowner holds a grudge, it might not have been that great of a friendship to begin with…just my two cents.

Good luck OP!