How to approach my parents?

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groseille

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For several years now I have considered joining the Catholic Church. For as long as I can remember I have had a desire (deep down) to be able to say “I am a Catholic” and have tried to practice it on my own (for example, I pray the rosary daily). I’ve finally made the decision that joining the Church is what I want, but I don’t know how to approach my parents. Neither of my parents are very religious. I learned about religion from my grandfather and we only attended church for a year or so when I was in my pre-teens (it was non-denominational protestant). The thing is my dad, while I love him, can be narrow-minded and dislikes the Catholic Church. My mother is much more open minded (and would be the one I will approach) but she was still a bit “iffy” when I bought a Catechism of the Catholic Church several years ago. I’m just looking for some advice on how I can talk to my parents about me wanting to join the Church and do RCIA classes.
 
How old are you and do you still live at home? You might want to wait until you are independent.

I went to a Catholic high school even though I was a Protestant at the time (long story). In my senior year I decided I wanted to become a Catholic but some of my teachers urged me to wait until I graduated. When I entered college, I joined RCIA. I was living in a dorm.

There was some family upset when I told them but that smoothed over and my whole family attended my reception into the church at 5:30 am on Easter 1986.

So I’d say, be prepared for any reaction.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our deaths
Amen
 
Just share from your heart, that this is something you feel called to. Share what is so attractive about it, and how it makes you feel. Let her know that you plan to do this, and would like her support, even if she’s not crazy about the idea. Do you need their cooperation to go? You didn’t mention how old you are.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit will soften her heart to help you! Maybe she could attend classes with you. Welcome to the One Holy Catholic Apostolic Church. 👍
 
It might be that you have to wait until you are a self-supporting adult.

However, if you have a good relationship, you may be able to frame it like “I know you love me and trust in my basic goodness and common sense. This is something I would really like to explore”. If you use the word explore it might not seem so threatening and most parents (I’m a mum of two grown children) are usually fairly tolerant of phases. (Not that Catholicism is a phase!!!) But, if they felt so, at least it’s a harmless one.

I’m not good at articulating, so I hope you understood what I meant and that it helps. :grouphug:
 
Keep saying the Rosary!

When the time comes for you to say something to your parents remember what our Lord reminded us:
“You will be hated because of me.” We can expect such things to happen, and pray to have the Lord’s patience to withstand it.

As you pray, read and learn more about the Church, you can show by your example that your desire to be Catholic is having a positive effect on you.

May you continue to be blessed on your journey!
 
I’m sorry that I forgot to mention my age. I will be 18 this June. While I would not necessarily rely on my parents to do this, I would like to have my mother’s consent at the very least out of respect. If anything I will wait the next few months, but to me this is something big and I want to get the process started (such as contacting my parish’s office, &c.).
 
groseille said:
I’m sorry that I forgot to mention my age. I will be 18 this June. While I would not necessarily rely on my parents to do this, I would like to have my mother’s consent at the very least out of respect. If anything I will wait the next few months, but to me this is something big and I want to get the process started (such as contacting my parish’s office, &c.).
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Waiting until June probably wouldn’t be problematic since RCIA doesn’t normally start until Autumn.
 
You should have no problems at all just going ahead and enrolling in RCIA when it begins in the fall (or that’s when all of them around here begin anyway!). You will be an adult and while I understand your desire to have your mom’s “consent”, you don’t need it. Do this for you if this is what God is putting on your heart. My family was not necessarily supportive when I expressed desire to join the Church but once I began the RCIA classes and sharing with them what I was learning, they were able to get a better understanding about the Catholic faith and realized that what they “disliked” about the Catholic Church was due to them not understanding it. Now even though I’m still the only Catholic in my family, they support me and my faith. 🙂 I will pray for you, but really, do this because you want to. Your family will simply have to accept that this is the path you want to walk on with God! 🙂
 
I come from a background of parents who are also very “iffy” on the Catholic church, though not because they aren’t religion, but because they are reformed presbyterian.

I think it’s wonderful that you’ve done so much research on your own, say the rosary and studied the Catechism. 👍
As an 18 year old you’ll be an adult, and while I understand the desire to respect your parents and their wishes, I would sign up for the class and just express that, while you don’t need their approval or ‘consent’ you’d like some respect and understanding.

Best of luck in your endeavors!

Peace,
  • PetiteFoi
 
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I would join the Catholic Church and follow what Jesus is calling you to do Groseille (just refrain for the first few months from discussing your Christian and Religious beliefs and practices) without lying.

Love to you for a most loving and giving Christian future
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