How to approach this topic with friends?

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AmandaH

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Hi there!

I’m hoping some of you can give me some advice on how to discuss a particular concern I have weighing on my mind with some friends of mine. They recently had their son baptized in the Catholic Church and I have major doubts about their commitment to bringing him up according to its teachings. The dad is a non-practicing Catholic and the mother is a semi-active Episcopalian. My friend’s (the dad) cousin is a Catholic priest and was the presider at the baby’s baptism. In later discussion with my friend, (the mom) she basically told me that their decision to baptize their son in the Church was out of fear of disrespecting the cousin since he is a Catholic priest. :confused:

It really bothers me that they seem to have no intention of bringing their son up in the Catholic Church and that they ‘went through the motions’ of a Catholic baptism just to appease family members. Do I even say anything or is it best to mind my own business and just pray that they come to their senses about all of this? 🤷

Thanks for any advice you may have!

~Amanda
 
I honestly would ask a non-involved priest of your duties. If I were in your shoes, I would likely just pray for a change of heart. But its so hard to watch people “go thru the motions” when it comes to the Catholic church…I guess is also depends on how close you are with this couple. But on the other hand…whats done is done, at least the child was baptized…🤷
 
Hey Amanda~

Wow that’s tough. How close friends are you with the couple? Did you know about the baptism before or after it was done?

I’m sure others will disagree with me, but I think that (for right now) it’s best to stay out of it. If they ask for your opinion then by all means speak up but other than that MYOB and pray. :gopray:
 
Who are the Godparents? How “Catholic” are they? If they are practicing they should do what they can to improve the child’s education. I always check in on my GodDaughter… But mom takes her to church, and has her registered in CCD… on target for first Communion. 👍

Even if they don’t do a good job teaching their son. It’s appropriate that he was baptized. No??? It’s a right that he should not have missed out on…

I bet the Catholic Cousin makes a phone call or two during appropriate times!
 
Thanks for the replies! I think in my heart, I was feeling the ‘MYOB’ way to go about this; lead by my example and be ready to be a witness to the faith when necessary. I would consider this couple to be among mine and my husband’s close friends.

I found out about the baby’s baptism through the invitation to the ceremony and was honestly a bit surprised by it. By all means, I am thankful for the baptism alone, but can’t help worry about the years to come. I will just pray for a change of heart!
 
Hi Amanda,

This is a very sticky situation. If you are close friends, they probably already know your views. Maybe that is why they did not discuss it with you. They are cafeteria Catholics at best and they probably were scared of the lecture ‘If you are going to baptize the kid they you need to start going to church every week’

I would simply say nothing. If they ask a question about the religion (any question at all) I would see that as an opening to give my opinion. For example, if they say ‘I read in the news the Pope was in England’, I would say ‘Well, since we are talking about religion, I need to be honest, I respect you have different views but if we are going to talk about this, I need to be true to myself and point certain things out. If you do not want to hear it, I won’t point it out but then you must respect we can not talk about this’

That way, you are not pushing your views on them but you are not compromising yourself either

CM
 
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