How to approach unbelieving friends?

[tonyk84]

Dear all,

I have friends, who I would like to bring into the church, but don’t know who to go about speaking to them about God.

The majority of my friends have no religion, haven’t been baptised into a faith, some say they believe in somthing, but don’t know what? Some say they believe there is a God, all would of herd of Jesus, but don’t know alot about him.

What would be my best approach to try and give them a better understanding of God, and Jesus? How should the conversation go?

Thanks & God Bless,

Tony.

 

[LindaSK]

Our very actions speak volumes. Was it St. Francis who said, " You may be the only Bible some people will ever read?" People can receive only what they are disposed to receive. You cannot force Faith on anyone. If they ask questions, I would suggest doing some of what Christ did, and ask them questions in return to be sure you understand what they are really want to know, and don’t overwhelm, or try to impress them with your knowledge. Be charitable, and not critical or judgmental. I am excited to be Catholic now! I need to remember, though, that not everyone is where I am. Some have actually been emotionally hurt in church environments. I wear a crucifix always. That alone has invited conversation - once, in a Fried Chicken establishment! You just never know. I have heard the comment on a number of occasions that if “so-and-so” is what it means to be Catholic, especially politicians and those who are very visible, “Why would I want to be Catholic?”

Begin simply, perhaps an invitation to come to Mass with you. This may open the door for dialog.

God bless.

 

[jbelokur]

Dear all,

I have friends, who I would like to bring into the church, but don’t know who to go about speaking to them about God.

The majority of my friends have no religion, haven’t been baptised into a faith, some say they believe in somthing, but don’t know what? Some say they believe there is a God, all would of herd of Jesus, but don’t know alot about him.

What would be my best approach to try and give them a better understanding of God, and Jesus? How should the conversation go?

Thanks & God Bless,

Tony.

Obviously you want to lead a faithful Catholic life in front of them, but also if you are passionate about something you should naturally talk about it in your day to day. I use the example that if my co workers new I was married but never talked about my wife they might get the impression that she wasn’t very important to me. On the other hand if i speak about her often (positively) they will know that she is important to me. Start by incorperating faith language into your every day life. If someone says to you "what did you do this weekend? don’t say “nothing”, at least say something about going to mass, you did after all recieve the blessed sacrament which I would think qualifies as more than nothing! Once they know that you are comfortable with talking to them about your faith they will in turn over time become comfortable with talking to you about the questions. I never have to start conversation with my faith, they start because someone asks me about mine and that opens the door for me to witness to them about Jesus Christ and His Church! Good luck, hope this helps!

 

[Garyjohn2]

These are good responses! Talking to an unbeliever that you care about about your faith can be difficult. My fiancee is kind of “searching”, but we have grown in faith a lot over the last few months. It’s important to be patient and gentle. We are the ones who can plant the seed of faith in someone’s heart, but it is up to God, and to the individual, to nuture that seed and help it grow. Sometimes it can take a long time. Sometimes years. Sometimes, a lifetime. I’ve learned recently that you can’t force someone to believe, no matter how reasonable or convincing you sound. I’ve learned the hard way…lol…much to my surprise it turned out to be a growing experience for me instead of the other person!!

I also think it was St. Francis who said “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” When other people see your faith, or your actions, or how you accept personal sufferings with grace…they will often eventually become curious and ask you, “why did you do that?” “what makes you think the way you do?” These are great opportunities to share.

Also, we all know that God often speaks to us when we are down, or depressed, or upset. Sometimes our hearts need to be softened before they are receptive. Sometimes we can’t see God’s light until we are completely in the dark. What I’m trying to say is, if you are a good friend to them, and you are there when they are going through tough times, you can help them by sharing with them how you get through tough times. What is your support, your foundation, that helps you deal with life’s difficulties? You can be the bearer of God’s light during these times if and when they seek your advice. These are great times to share, too.

It can take patience if they aren’t always receptive…but don’t be discouraged. God’s timing is always perfect. Just do your best…and always, always pray for them. I am in similar situation with a few of my friends. I will pray for us both!

 

[tonyk84]

Hi guys,

Thanks for your replies they are very helpful. Ive just finished Patrick Madrid’s book “Search & Rescue” which has helped me immensely, it mentions similar things to what you guys have said.

But I guess what I’m looking for is what i can say in a conversation, like how would I go about saying the God exist, and loves us, sent his only begotten son Jesus to save us.

Thanks & God Bless.

 

[Garyjohn2]

But I guess what I’m looking for is what i can say in a conversation, like how would I go about saying the God exist, and loves us, sent his only begotten son Jesus to save us.

That is more difficult, for me at least, because it really depends on who you are talking to, what their state of mind is, and what they know already about christianity. For example, if you say the words “kingdom of God” to someone who has no background or upbringing in christianity, the term will go right over their head and they won’t get anything out of it. So it really depends.

Usually, I don’t know what to say ahead of time. I try to let it just flow. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and words, and I pray to Him in my mind while I am speaking. I try to keep that connection to God when I am sharing things about my faith, so that I can be inspired and hopefully say the right things. If you can pray before hand that is good too.

Sorry, maybe not what you are looking for, but it has worked for me! Whatever words I choose, I try to be sensitive to the situation and sensitive to the other person.
Also, sometimes simply saying “I’ll pray for you” can plant a seed more potent than an entire exposition on God’s existence and Christ’s sacrifice for the world! But yeah, it really depends I guess.

 

[tonyk84]

Hi GaryJohn,

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I will try praying before hand and also while in conversation Ill say a quick quite prayer. Hopefully somthing will come a bit easier.

My fiancee is also “searching”, she is going through RCIA at the moment, and has grown in faith alot this last year, I have too, Thanks be to God! At times I have been a bit pushy with her, I need to take a step back and be more gentle. I’m sure the seed it well planted and I just need to let Gods grace do the rest, which he is slowly but surely!

 

[LindaSK]

Hi GaryJohn,

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I will try praying before hand and also while in conversation Ill say a quick quite prayer. Hopefully somthing will come a bit easier.

My fiancee is also “searching”, she is going through RCIA at the moment, and has grown in faith alot this last year, I have too, Thanks be to God! At times I have been a bit pushy with her, I need to take a step back and be more gentle. I’m sure the seed it well planted and I just need to let Gods grace do the rest, which he is slowly but surely!

This may be simplistic, but, as someone who has spent her whole life on a farm, I love the parable of ‘The Sower and the Seed.’ I, literally, put the seeds in the ground, but the environment and the timing have to be right for them to sprout. I see Faith like that. We can be the sower, but things happen in God’s time. I am not the best one to talk about patience, but, I think it really helps in situations like you have described. Sometimes, I think when we try too hard, people can put up walls if they are not ready to hear what we have to say, even if our intentions are good. Yes, been there, done that!

I agree - pray about it.

God bless all of you.

 

[aspirant]

But I guess what I’m looking for is what i can say in a conversation, like how would I go about saying the God exist, and loves us, sent his only begotten son Jesus to save us.

I agree!

I think my answer would have to include these elements:

Practice your faith. Know what you believe, why you believe it, love God, and live it. Strive to be always learning, growing, praying. You don’t have to already be a great saint to evangelize, but you should be aiming in the right direction.

Love and pray for your friends. Don’t just tell them you love them, show them. Don’t tell them you’re praying for them (unless it seems really appropriate in the moment), do it.

Get to know your friends better and strive to understand them. Listen to them. Ask them questions and really listen to their responses. Pay attention to the things that are important to them, and try to understand why they are important. Learn their strengths and virtues, appreciate their beautiful qualities, and encourage them to the extent you are able. Be compassionate, be present, sharing in their lives as a trustworthy friend.

If they have misconceptions about Christianity, help them to unlearn them. I honestly believe that most of evangelization is simply preparing the ground, so to speak-- clearing away the rocks and debris. Don’t be pushy about this, just look for opportunities to do a little at a time as often as you can.

The better you know your friends, the better you will be able to discern when is the right time to speak and when is the right time to listen, what tone of conversation is appropriate, etc. Be present, pay attention, listen.

Be patient.

 

[LindaSK]

I agree!

I think my answer would have to include these elements:

Practice your faith. Know what you believe, why you believe it, love God, and live it. Strive to be always learning, growing, praying. You don’t have to already be a great saint to evangelize, but you should be aiming in the right direction.

Love and pray for your friends. Don’t just tell them you love them, show them. Don’t tell them you’re praying for them (unless it seems really appropriate in the moment), do it.

Get to know your friends better and strive to understand them. Listen to them. Ask them questions and really listen to their responses. Pay attention to the things that are important to them, and try to understand why they are important. Learn their strengths and virtues, appreciate their beautiful qualities, and encourage them to the extent you are able.** Be compassionate, be present, sharing in their lives as a trustworthy friend.
**
If they have misconceptions about Christianity, help them to unlearn them. I honestly believe that most of evangelization is simply preparing the ground, so to speak-- clearing away the rocks and debris. Don’t be pushy about this, just look for opportunities to do a little at a time as often as you can.

The better you know your friends, the better you will be able to discern when is the right time to speak and when is the right time to listen, what tone of conversation is appropriate, etc. Be present, pay attention, listen.

Be patient.

Excellent post!!

** Be compassionate, be present, sharing in their lives as a trustworthy friend.
Their ability to****** trust******** that what you and God want for them is in their best interest is so important. They will come to trust your words if your actions support them.

Be patient.