How to avoid being scandalized?

[LatinByzCath]

I am a convert to Catholicism. Rather, I was a member of one of the Eastern Churches in schism, and came into union with Rome. I did this, because I felt the Holy Spirit call me. I’d wanted to be Catholic all my life. I wasn’t really convinced of anything, intellectually, however.

Since conversion point, I’ve sincerely thought about going back to the Eastern Orthodox Church. When this happens, it’s because I’m scandalized by people within the Church.

People in the Church. I’m honored that people feel they can talk to me. But the things they tell me are hard to take. Mostly, I know a few young men just about to enter seminary or religious orders who are promiscuous with members of their own gender, and have not stopped. (St. John Vianney tells us that even if a man fall to the temptation of masturbation, he should not be ordained for a year!) In my former tradition, we had married priests, and not nearly as big a problem with this. I have known people with homosexual inclinations who have become priests and monks who have been chaste all of their lives, and are closer to God for it. When people tell me these things, or I find these things out, I really have a hard time with it.

The Church, itself. In my old tradition, our leadership was far away, and they spoke and wrote in a language I could not understand. I didn’t pay attention to what the patriarch or the bishops were saying, I just tried to mind my own soul. As a Roman Catholic, I can hardly open my computer without hearing about some scandal somewhere, or what some crazy priest has said. It breaks my heart.

I spend about a month out of the Church, going to the Orthodox services in stead. I had to calm down, as I would get so stressed over this that I’d give myself headaches.

I started researching, and I’m finding so much proof of why it’s crucial to be under the Bishop of Rome. I believe that the Catholic Church is the true Church.

I just have a problem handling the Church’s problems, because coming from an Eastern Church, they are foreign to me (for lack of a better word.)

I live in a town with no eastern Catholic Churches, in a diocese that is ridiculously liberal. I go to a Church doing the traditional Latin mass about an hour away.

What do you suggest? I need peace in my soul, and I know the Church can give it to me, but I can’t start working out my own salvation if I’m constantly obsessing over the latest scandal on the news sites.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

What do you suggest? I need peace in my soul, and I know the Church can give it to me, but I can’t start working out my own salvation if I’m constantly obsessing over the latest scandal on the news sites.

Stop looking for scandal. It’s way above our “pay grade” to worry about what is happening in the Church on a global level. Do what brings you peace, stay away from what doesn’t. Change what is within your power to change, which is yourself, not your diocese, parish or the people who also attend your parish.
We are all on a journey, and some move slower than others. All we can do is love them, as we love ourselves- that is the Catholic Way!!

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Once when I was telling my spiritual director how distressed I was over the remarks of some bishop, he gave me some advice that has served me well ever since. He told me not to look to the bishops for holiness, not to look to priests, not to look to other members of the community, because that’s not where holiness is found. He told me to look to God and to focus on my relationship with him.

Pope Francis has described the Church as a hospital for sinners and he’s absolutely right. While the hope can be that every member is helping to build up the Church, the reality is that’s not what happens. There are sinners that contradict every saint.

But ultimately we are not Catholic because of the very human institution or its very human members. We are Catholic because it is the best way to enhance our relationship with one person, Jesus Christ and allows us to encounter him in the most profound way in the Eucharist.

Perhaps a spiritual director could help you find your way a little better… Something I also find helpful is to recognize when something is hurting my faith and push it back from my life. There have been certain authors and speakers, for example, who leave me feeling outraged rather than anything positive. I now happily skip their work. Some websites have that effect on me as well. I regard them as a near occasion of sin and stay away.

 

[Bonnie]

Read what St. Paul had to say about a similar matter in Philippians 1:15-18. There is nothing we can do about the scandalous things others do, but we should pray for them. We will probably never know how God deals with these people at a later date.

 

[friardchips]

Stop looking for scandal. It’s way above our “pay grade” to worry about what is happening in the Church on a global level. Do what brings you peace, stay away from what doesn’t. Change what is within your power to change, which is yourself, not your diocese, parish or the people who also attend your parish.
We are all on a journey, and some move slower than others. All we can do is love them, as we love ourselves- that is the Catholic Way!!

So Christians shouldn’t ever witness to the faith? I think both. Jesus said that after we go to a place that doesn’t accept our peace we then brush off the sand, not before. Otherwise, our peace is rather superficial.

 

[Xantippe]

I
People in the Church. I’m honored that people feel they can talk to me. But the things they tell me are hard to take. Mostly, I know a few young men just about to enter seminary or religious orders who are promiscuous with members of their own gender, and have not stopped. (St. John Vianney tells us that even if a man fall to the temptation of masturbation, he should not be ordained for a year!) In my former tradition, we had married priests, and not nearly as big a problem with this. I have known people with homosexual inclinations who have become priests and monks who have been chaste all of their lives, and are closer to God for it. When people tell me these things, or I find these things out, I really have a hard time with it.

I’m a little surprised that you have random seminary hopefuls confiding in you about ongoing sexual sin.

What do you tell them?

 

[friardchips]

Read what St. Paul had to say about a similar matter in Philippians 1:15-18. There is nothing we can do about the scandalous things others do, but we should pray for them. We will probably never know how God deals with these people at a later date.

God sometimes works through us.

 

[svid2]

Pax Christi!

My prayers go out to you and anyone who is saddened by the state of the Church today.

When I get this kind of discouraging news, I pray. When a lector changes Holy Scripture to be gender-neutral, I pray. When priests or others stray from Church teachings, the laity stray from the sacraments and the Barque of Peter is in poor shape, I pray.

And I avoid the news. I love Church art and architecture, tradition and (most) history. These things I find edifying.

To stay grounded in the present, there are always prayer requests, whether on this website or elsewhere, and some good news can be found.

“Pray, hope and don’t worry. Worry is useless.” - St. Pio.

Do what you can.

God bless.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

So Christians shouldn’t ever witness to the faith? I think both. Jesus said that after we go to a place that doesn’t accept our peace we then brush off the sand, not before. Otherwise, our peace is rather superficial.

Please explain to me where I said we must not witness the faith?

There are plenty of ways to do that, and as I said, the first way is for me to worry about me- not the global Church, not my parish or the other members, but ME!

If the news and other Catholic sites I go to make me feel like leaving the Church, the only person who can change that is me, and that is by not going to those sites, and not worrying about things which I have no control over.

 

[Bonnie]

There are plenty of ways to do that, and as I said, the first way is for me to worry about me- not the global Church, not my parish or the other members, but ME!.

Yes! We cannot change anyone else. My favorite version of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it’s me.

 

[friardchips]

Please explain to me where I said we must not witness the faith?

There are plenty of ways to do that, and as I said, the first way is for me to worry about me- not the global Church, not my parish or the other members, but ME!

If the news and other Catholic sites I go to make me feel like leaving the Church, the only person who can change that is me, and that is by not going to those sites, and not worrying about things which I have no control over.

Well, then good for YOU. If that is what you feel you are called to do.

However, people have different callings. So I would say that this is not universal but personal to YOU.

It is true, we can witness to the faith in our own environments. It is discernment that teaches us where to go and how to fight for peace.

Praying is always necessary: literal prayer, of course, and prayerful living.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Well, then good for YOU. If that is what you feel you are called to do.

However, people have different callings. So I would say that this is not universal but personal to YOU.

Re-read the OP. We’re talking about someone so distressed over problems in the Church that he’s thinking about leaving. The last couple of posters were right that he needs to focus on his own spiritual life and not try to change everyone else.

 

[friardchips]

I am a convert to Catholicism. Rather, I was a member of one of the Eastern Churches in schism, and came into union with Rome. I did this, because I felt the Holy Spirit call me. I’d wanted to be Catholic all my life. I wasn’t really convinced of anything, intellectually, however.

Since conversion point, I’ve sincerely thought about going back to the Eastern Orthodox Church. When this happens, it’s because I’m scandalized by people within the Church.

People in the Church. I’m honored that people feel they can talk to me. But the things they tell me are hard to take. Mostly, I know a few young men just about to enter seminary or religious orders who are promiscuous with members of their own gender, and have not stopped. (St. John Vianney tells us that even if a man fall to the temptation of masturbation, he should not be ordained for a year!) In my former tradition, we had married priests, and not nearly as big a problem with this. I have known people with homosexual inclinations who have become priests and monks who have been chaste all of their lives, and are closer to God for it. When people tell me these things, or I find these things out, I really have a hard time with it.

The Church, itself. In my old tradition, our leadership was far away, and they spoke and wrote in a language I could not understand. I didn’t pay attention to what the patriarch or the bishops were saying, I just tried to mind my own soul. As a Roman Catholic, I can hardly open my computer without hearing about some scandal somewhere, or what some crazy priest has said. It breaks my heart.

I spend about a month out of the Church, going to the Orthodox services in stead. I had to calm down, as I would get so stressed over this that I’d give myself headaches.

I started researching, and I’m finding so much proof of why it’s crucial to be under the Bishop of Rome. I believe that the Catholic Church is the true Church.

I just have a problem handling the Church’s problems, because coming from an Eastern Church, they are foreign to me (for lack of a better word.)

I live in a town with no eastern Catholic Churches, in a diocese that is ridiculously liberal. I go to a Church doing the traditional Latin mass about an hour away.

What do you suggest? I need peace in my soul, and I know the Church can give it to me, but I can’t start working out my own salvation if I’m constantly obsessing over the latest scandal on the news sites.

Thanks for the prompt to keep on subject.

In answer to the thread question regarding news feeds: stop putting your trust in news feeds. They twist and snake the truth so the truth ends up being a misquote and a contortion of the truth.

In answer to the thread question regarding people you know: stop judging them and pray the rosary about your issues. If you get panic attacks then speak to a priest. Pray for those you know.

It is good to care and if you do then the Lord will give you things as and when you are ready, and in the meantime, as Oneofthewomen, love those around you and do good.

Love the Sacraments, love holy books, love praying and love people…and the rest as they say, will take care of itself (in your heart).

Utopia does not exist in this life. We are a Church of saved sinners. Jesus asks you to rest in Him not in the certainty of your own convictions, twenty/four seven, and He will give you everything you need, as He “makes everything new” (in your heart).

God bless.