How to Avoid Gossip

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How do we avoid gossip in today’s world? It seems difficult to speak never negatively. Sometimes reporting what is on the news can even be seen as spreading rumors, such are the times.
When does speaking of someone turn to gossip? How do we avoid this?
 
Kei said:
How do we avoid gossip in today’s world? It seems difficult to speak never negatively. Sometimes reporting what is on the news can even be seen as spreading rumors, such are the times.
When does speaking of someone turn to gossip? How do we avoid this?
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THINK!! Actually think about what you are about to say. Gossip both positive and negative is virtually spontaneous. Gossip can be construed to be any unfocused conversation. Focused is getting a task done, such as making a purchase. Unfocused is socializing. We are human and we socialize. What may star out as just social interaction can easily fall into gossip. So think! Find yourself inadvertently rolling into gossip make it positive, think about what you are about to say before you say it.

😀 Uh not easy is it? Oh and avoid today’s “social media.” Not much chance of that is there? So look before you leap and … think!
 
I know that speaking ill of people and complaining about their faults is a nasty vice of mine.
 
I find thinking prior to speaking makes one “awkward” and “unsociable” because it takes a second before you can say anything, and it messes up timing of conversation. Is there a way to help with that?

What are we to do if someone starts talking negatively about someone else that you both know? Just ignore it?
 
First, don’t initiate gossip yourself. Second, if someone starts to gossip to you, ask them “why are you telling me this?” Third, if you forget that, then don’t repeat what you’ve been told.
 
I have met with good results in countering criticism with praise.

With gossip, I try to say something light or funny that also says I don’t want to hear that. I am old enough that saying something in a teen kind of voice works really well. I think keeping it light makes it easier for other people to reflect on gossiping, because it is not pushing on them.
 
Gossip is revealing confidences or saying more than what the other person needs to know. Think of speaking about another person on a needs to know basis.
 
Great topic!

I’d say to avoid rationalizing the gossip with self-justifying phrases like “I’m just venting,” "I’m really worried about her because . . . " or "We need to pray for him because I heard . . . "

I try to respond to gossip with a complement about the target, then I shift the subject. “Yes, but I do love how she is insert-positive-character-trait-here. Say, do you have any plans for the weekend?”

Finally, humbly remember the Spanish proverb: Whoever gossips to you also gossips about you.
 
Don’t talk. Avoiding people is a good idea too but that’s just me
 
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Don’t talk about people. Refuse gently when your friends start gossiping. Say you would rather not hear it. Remember, knowledge can influence your mind to some extent. Therefore it is safe not to listen to juicy gossips no matter how tempting they are.
 
We need to think for the good of the persons soul that we are going to talk about.Ask ourselves is the talk going to be constructive and problem solving rather that pulling them apart.We protect their good name as much as we can,only speak of someone to those that are going to be of benefit to that person some how ,in a practical kind way .Advice,prayers.
 
You don’t have to never speak a bad thing about people, but look at your reasons. Why are you talking about someone? is it for a good reason, ie useful? and is it true. If you know a friend is doing something bad and you speak to another friend confidentially about that friend then it’s a good reason about a bad thing, ie to help that person then it’s not gossip. Use the 3 things, is it true, is it good and is it useful (for you or the person concerned). If the answer is no to all then don’t do it, if it’s no to some or one then proceed carefully. Pray to God and if you can get to Adoration, take it there first. Don’t expect God to give you an answer in 5 minutes let Him take his time and show you, sometimes the answer reveals itself and you find you don’t need to speak about something. Fr Mike Schmidt on YouTube has some good takes on what is and what isn’t gossip if you want to google him.
A quick rule of thumb I find useful is whether I’d like someone saying that about me behind my back or not, or to imagine the person is overhearing you, would you still be saying it?
 
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It depends why we engage in gossip.
Some people are uncomfortable with silence and start running off at the mouth thoughtlessly.
Other people want to seem entertaining and start telling tales.
But still others actually want to start trouble.
 
Avoid talking to people. and you avoid gossip. Gossip though usually has a negative undertone , i heard so an so was just arrested for whatever what a horrible person he is and in turn one goes out tells everyone that so an so was just arrested and is a horrible person. With out knowing all the facts and more over either two things are possible, the person in question was never even arrested which then it becomes a lie and gossip, or the person was arrested but never had a trial. an even stil it becomes judgemental because even if the person did deserve to get arrested, the offense could be for something minor.

People that seem to have nothing else to talk about except other people and then giving their opinion on said person is probably a good indicator that is a gossip conversation / or is becoming gossip.

To avoid it, simply change the subject or be blunt and state that you dont like to talk about people in that manner. or some such degree.
 
I just remember that Our Lord told St. Faustina that a talkative soul will never achieve holiness. I also remember St. Faustina saying that she trembled over the fact that we would have to give an account of our tongue to God. That kind of has set me straight for the most part. Though I still struggles sometimes.
 
It is very sobering. As far as giving an account, I just can’t imagine how one is supposed to do that. I t hink that myy only option is to throw myself upon the mercy of the Court. What else there to say but “You’re right. I’m wrong. I have no excuse. I’m sorry!” I can’t see myself acting as my own defense attorney. I think we’re just supposed to acknowledge how bad we are without God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness and hope for the best.

God Bless 🙂
 
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