How to be a better big brother?

[theStudentAD2018]

Hey, so my little brothers are a bit rambunctious. The youngest goes to Catholic school. I’m wondering how to be a better big brother. I try not to swear around him and my middle brother.
I honestly feel like a big steaming hypocrite. I cursed a bit around them when I was younger (Not anymore, thankfully. Sadly, they’ve learned several things since I was gone. My middle brother is now almost up to my height! :0 And he’s a teenager! Thirteen years old.

Personally, I did a bunch of stuff that I’m definitely not proud of and I personally don’t know how I’d live with myself if they picked up the same habits I did. No, it’s not drugs and alcohol, it’s Immoral movies and masturbation. I still struggle with this sin ten years later as I used it to cope with my Mom being mentally unstable and my parents’ civilly divorcing.

I am aware of a certain saint’s writings that if we sin, then our children will pay for our sins by generation. I quite frankly am terrified of it as I don’t want my brothers going down for what I did and we all burn in Hell for it and then I burn all the more for it. ( I know, very selfish).

What are ways that I can improve as a big brother as well as be a better role model for them?

 

[Maxwell03]

I’m the worst person to ask about this kind of thing… I’m a bad big brother to be honest but I hope someone gibes you a great advice! I’ll be watching this one

 

[AdamP88]

if we sin, then our children will pay for our sins by

This is not a church teaching. We are only responsible for our personal sins.

From one big brother to another I’d say don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not necessarily your fault if your brothers sin. If your struggling with those situations I’d say don’t broadcast that information to your younger siblings. Everyone has their struggles and possibly your brothers will have different struggles. Many teenagers struggle with sexual sin. Not to excuse it but it is a time when you are more vulnerable to that. Focus on being a good brother in the practical sense. Drive your brother to football practice or whatever…take him for McDonald’s after. He’ll remember that stuff when he’s older.

 

[Gab123]

I try not to swear around him and my middle brother.

How about trying not to swear in front of God, since he’s everywhere and sees everything…
Scripture says that the sins of the tongue are the hardest to tame.

But do realize that there are plenty of wretched sinners who went on to become great saints, from St Augustine to St. Francis. The best advice for you is to begin the adventure of a true follower of Christ; namely, to decide in your heart, in the presence of Christ in the Eucharist to become a saint. After all, only saints can enter heaven. The time for purification and change is now.

Many Catholics don’t seem to realize that the only thing God wants of us, is our sanctification, A sanctification within our own circumstances and among the people we encounter everyday, beginning with our family. It is through our sanctification that we spiritually benefit those around us. Holiness naturally radiates and inspires others to seek God. And by sanctification I don’t mean doing religious things; for even the Pharisees were very religious yet far from a God.

Saintliness is the unmasking, uprooting and removing of everything from our heart that separates us from God. This is a lifelong journey of becoming humble, sincere, and having a purity of intention in everything we do, while doing everything with Christian love (Agape) for the love of God and toward neighbor. Interestingly, it is through our weaknesses that God sanctifies us. We all have many weaknesses in our personal life. To help make progress, many sinners who became saints often kept track of their failures and victories as they battled to conquered the sins they uprooted from their heart, uprooting vices and planting the seeds of virtue; tearing down pride, destroying the spiritual laziness, making progress with the supernatural power of the sacraments, that empower us to do things we could never do on our own…

One way to get on the fast track is to integrate spiritual meditation in your daily prayer life through the Holy Rosary, which is a meditation on the life of Jesus Christ; read the New Testament thoroughly; study the lives of the saints whom you can emulate, and obviously frequent a sincere confession, and a very humble approach when you receive the tremendous presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist, as you speak to Him, adore Him, thank Him, ask Him, and make reparation for all the ingratitude towards a Him; and then listen with intent to His voice, as He speaks in the silence of your heart…

Here are three links that will help:
LINK 1
LINK 2
LINK 3

 

[Lou2U]

Firstly, you have to forgive yourself and give yourself permission to let go of these fears that are not based on Catholic teaching, as Adam has said.

Be a support in their life. You and them have not had it easy. Be someone in their life they can turn to - if they ask, offer advice with no judgement. Spend time with them, get to know them - their friends, hobbies, what they want to do when they’re older etc.

Remember though that you’re not their parent. Make sure you don’t unconsciously take on that role by worrying about what sins they may be committing.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The good news is that God does not punish our children, grandchildren, siblings or any other person for OUR sins. Jesus assured us of this in Scripture.

You can be a good example, that does not mean they never see you make a mistake or even sin, it means you show them that when mistakes happens you are the first to apologize, the first to forgive others, that you do not harbor grudges nor do you make excuses for these things (“used it to cope with stress” becomes “I did something wrong and I have amended my life and with the help of Christ I strive to sin no more”).

When you do sin, little sins your brothers see that you make an act of contrition, when it is a big sin your brothers see you go to Confession.

They need to see you praying, reading Scripture, being full of joy and fun.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

Your genuine love and concern for your little brothers fills my momheart with joy. I don’t have any specific advice because it sounds like you are doing a better job than you think. Just keep living the faith. They see that. If they come to you about things, you can share your experience of pitfalls in an age appropriote way. It may help them avoid things or it may not. It won’t be your fault unless you introduced the problem. I will be praying for you and your brothers. Your love is amazing.