How To Be A Traditional Catholic In A Liberal Parish?

[IrishDude45]

I was baptized and confirmed on Easter 2007 after going through the RCIA program. I live in rural Tennessee. There are not that many Catholic parishes around here. The only one that is a viable option is an extremely “open” liberal parish. I drive to the Cathedral every once in a while and attend a latin novus ordo mass occasionally at another parish far away but neither option is practical.

I have tried to be as traditional and conservative as possible in my parish and I stick out like a sore thumb. I am one of a few people who wears a suit to all the masses. I am one of a few people that receive communion on tongue, etc. When I tried to receive communion kneeling it caused a scene and I have not attempted since. The priest has asked that we not do that, so I haven’t. I am trying to discern a vocation to the priesthood, so I naturally went to my priest for spiritual direction, I knew he was liberal but had no idea until I talked with him for this long. He is for a married priesthood, ordination of women, further liberalization of the mass, referred to the Vatican as a good 'ol boy’s club and explained that was the reason we did not have women priests. He thinks it is odd that I go to weekly confession and come to mass numerous times a week. He thinks its odder still that I want the tridentine mass and am drawn to numerous aspects of pre-Vatican II culture. He has bluntly stated that I cannot long for these things because I have never experienced them. I am now seeking another spiritual director who I hope is more conservative but it just isn’t practical to attend another parish. The masses are loud and distracting and people attend wearing soccer jerseys and swim wear. I will not even mention the lifeteen masses, but I think you can imagine. No one genuflects when passing the Blessed Sacrament. I have only heard three hymns that even sounded Catholic thus far. The rest of the hymns seem to be those “praise band” types. The crucifix is so small and the church design so modern that I can safely say that I have been to Methodist churches that looked more Catholic.

Perhaps I am over-sensitive to perceived “protestanization” because I have been around Protestants my entire life but perhaps not. All I have done since converting is study thelogy, philosophy, Church history, and latin. As I have studied I have become more and more conservative and more and more uncomfortable in my parish. Yet as a convert and teenager I am out of place to make any kind of open criticism of my parish, much less of my priest so I keep silent but is there anything I can do to be traditional in this very non-traditional parish?

pax vobiscum

 

[Genesis315]

I am currently reading some volumes of revelations made to St. Bridget (approved by Pope Boniface IX)–it seems her experience was very similar to yours. Similarly, St. Catherine of Siena is another with similar experience in the same time period. They both give good advice, especially coming from two people with about as much natural clout as a teenager today

As St.Catherine said, you have to be able to find the rose out from amongst the thorns. See God’s will in everything. These are opportunities for virtue. Our Lord told St. Bridget he permits such situations as you describe for two ends–to give the elect the opportunities for heroic patience and also so the lukewarm (or downright evil) might be converted by the those more fervent souls.

St. Catherine gives us good advice as to how to do this. First, she says in such situations we must have a humble self-knowledge–where we came from, how we got where we are now, and how far we still need to go. That will help us cultivate a holy compassion for poor sinners. From that compassion will spring the fire of divine charity that will spread, inflaming others too.

Prayer is that first act–only Jesus Himself can truly bring about authentic reform. He wipes the face of his bride with our sweat and tears (both real and “of fire”) shed while praying fervently.

In your interactions with others, if you have cultivated that compassion and charity, the Holy Spirit will give you the right words in those times.

 

[adstrinity]

I agree with everything Genesis315 said. I do.

Let me give you another piece of advice. It’s possibly selfish compared to what G315 said, and, it may be considered church shopping, but, please, if you’re feeling like this, go to where Mass is celebrated reverently. You stated it is not practical, but, I really think you will be happier (not that life is about being exclusively happy or having things easy). It will cause less stress. Going to the nearest church isn’t always what’s best for us, and it is not always the most practical in the long run. Pray. If you feel God wants you to go to another parish, He will provide for it. It really is easier to do things when one follows His Will.

If there’s a EF/TLM around you, please go there. PLEASE. Not so much to the Latin Mass, per se, but, if there is a church willing to do the Latin Mass correctly, they may hopefully be in line with the Vatican (hopefully) and celebrate all Masses correctly.

In the meantime, if I may offer a bit of help. I am thankful for the little things for you, that is, that though the priest think it odd that you go to confession every week and attend Mass everyday (and, at least, despite his views, it is all valid…assuming he does it correctly), he still gives you Jesus in both Sacraments. He doesn’t kick you out or refuse to listen to you, nor does he say that you’ve had the Body and Blood enough already this week.

 

[Genesis315]

My advice was predicated on the fact that there were no other reasonable options. If you do believe your faith is being hurt, and there are other options, then I agree with adstrinity and think you can choose to go to a different parish in good conscience.

 

[Windmill]

I feel your pain, Irish. Weekly, I feel your pain.

Your hope is that you are not settled down in that area. When you go off to college, you GO off to college. So, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Red_Meg]

If that’s the parish you need to attend right now, that’s the parish you need to attend. As previously noted, there is a light at the end of the tunnel-- college! And if you attend college in a more urban setting, you’ll have a range of parishes to pick besides whatever is offered on campus.

Meanwhile, I’d suggest you simply maintain your piety at Mass, keep going to confession frequently (even if it baffles your priest) and strive mightily for holiness. Try to be a saint. Try to be an absolute beacon of charity and cheerfulness (not in a happy-clappy way, but in the more traditional usage of the word.) Offer up your frustration at any liturgical abuses to Our Lord, who is surely more offended than you. Keep studying your faith and apologetics well, so that you will be “ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you.” Worst case scenario, nothing at all changes. Only God will see your hidden sacrifice, and that’s not such a bad thing. But just maybe, someone else in the parish will notice that something is “up” with you, and want to know more. That would be your chance to very gently explain the joy you receive from praying the Rosary or receiving the sacrament of Confession regularly or attending daily Mass, or whatever you think will take root in the other person’s heart. Perhaps this parish is where you need to be working on the “New Evangelization” until it’s time to leave home for college…

Best regards,

Margaret

 

[FM927]

I was baptized and confirmed on Easter 2007 after going through the RCIA program. I live in rural Tennessee. There are not that many Catholic parishes around here. The only one that is a viable option is an extremely “open” liberal parish. I drive to the Cathedral every once in a while and attend a latin novus ordo mass occasionally at another parish far away but neither option is practical.

I have tried to be as traditional and conservative as possible in my parish and I stick out like a sore thumb. I am one of a few people who wears a suit to all the masses. I am one of a few people that receive communion on tongue, etc. When I tried to receive communion kneeling it caused a scene and I have not attempted since. The priest has asked that we not do that, so I haven’t. I am trying to discern a vocation to the priesthood, so I naturally went to my priest for spiritual direction, I knew he was liberal but had no idea until I talked with him for this long. He is for a married priesthood, ordination of women, further liberalization of the mass, referred to the Vatican as a good 'ol boy’s club and explained that was the reason we did not have women priests. He thinks it is odd that I go to weekly confession and come to mass numerous times a week. He thinks its odder still that I want the tridentine mass and am drawn to numerous aspects of pre-Vatican II culture. He has bluntly stated that I cannot long for these things because I have never experienced them. I am now seeking another spiritual director who I hope is more conservative but it just isn’t practical to attend another parish. The masses are loud and distracting and people attend wearing soccer jerseys and swim wear. I will not even mention the lifeteen masses, but I think you can imagine. No one genuflects when passing the Blessed Sacrament. I have only heard three hymns that even sounded Catholic thus far. The rest of the hymns seem to be those “praise band” types. The crucifix is so small and the church design so modern that I can safely say that I have been to Methodist churches that looked more Catholic.

Perhaps I am over-sensitive to perceived “protestanization” because I have been around Protestants my entire life but perhaps not. All I have done since converting is study thelogy, philosophy, Church history, and latin. As I have studied I have become more and more conservative and more and more uncomfortable in my parish. Yet as a convert and teenager I am out of place to make any kind of open criticism of my parish, much less of my priest so I keep silent but is there anything I can do to be traditional in this very non-traditional parish?

pax vobiscum

Imagine that : A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC PRIEST"

 

[jfoges]

I was baptized and confirmed on Easter 2007 after going through the RCIA program. I live in rural Tennessee. There are not that many Catholic parishes around here. The only one that is a viable option is an extremely “open” liberal parish. I drive to the Cathedral every once in a while and attend a latin novus ordo mass occasionally at another parish far away but neither option is practical.

I have tried to be as traditional and conservative as possible in my parish and I stick out like a sore thumb. I am one of a few people who wears a suit to all the masses. I am one of a few people that receive communion on tongue, etc. When I tried to receive communion kneeling it caused a scene and I have not attempted since. The priest has asked that we not do that, so I haven’t. I am trying to discern a vocation to the priesthood, so I naturally went to my priest for spiritual direction, I knew he was liberal but had no idea until I talked with him for this long. He is for a married priesthood, ordination of women, further liberalization of the mass, referred to the Vatican as a good 'ol boy’s club and explained that was the reason we did not have women priests. He thinks it is odd that I go to weekly confession and come to mass numerous times a week. He thinks its odder still that I want the tridentine mass and am drawn to numerous aspects of pre-Vatican II culture. He has bluntly stated that I cannot long for these things because I have never experienced them. I am now seeking another spiritual director who I hope is more conservative but it just isn’t practical to attend another parish. The masses are loud and distracting and people attend wearing soccer jerseys and swim wear. I will not even mention the lifeteen masses, but I think you can imagine. No one genuflects when passing the Blessed Sacrament. I have only heard three hymns that even sounded Catholic thus far. The rest of the hymns seem to be those “praise band” types. The crucifix is so small and the church design so modern that I can safely say that I have been to Methodist churches that looked more Catholic.

Perhaps I am over-sensitive to perceived “protestanization” because I have been around Protestants my entire life but perhaps not. All I have done since converting is study thelogy, philosophy, Church history, and latin. As I have studied I have become more and more conservative and more and more uncomfortable in my parish. Yet as a convert and teenager I am out of place to make any kind of open criticism of my parish, much less of my priest so I keep silent but is there anything I can do to be traditional in this very non-traditional parish?

pax vobiscum

If you are that uncomfortable in your parish then you should consider leaving the parish. Try to go to mass at a church where you feel more comfortable. If you cannot do that, then just go when you can and on those Sundays where you cant make the drive, just stay home and pray.

 

[Logan]

just stay home and pray.

??? , I wouldn’t consider that option.

 

[RobbyS]

I was baptized and confirmed on Easter 2007 after going through the RCIA program. I live in rural Tennessee. There are not that many Catholic parishes around here. The only one that is a viable option is an extremely “open” liberal parish. I drive to the Cathedral every once in a while and attend a latin novus ordo mass occasionally at another parish far away but neither option is practical.

I have tried to be as traditional and conservative as possible in my parish and I stick out like a sore thumb. I am one of a few people who wears a suit to all the masses. I am one of a few people that receive communion on tongue, etc. When I tried to receive communion kneeling it caused a scene and I have not attempted since. The priest has asked that we not do that, so I haven’t. I am trying to discern a vocation to the priesthood, so I naturally went to my priest for spiritual direction, I knew he was liberal but had no idea until I talked with him for this long. He is for a married priesthood, ordination of women, further liberalization of the mass, referred to the Vatican as a good 'ol boy’s club and explained that was the reason we did not have women priests. He thinks it is odd that I go to weekly confession and come to mass numerous times a week. He thinks its odder still that I want the tridentine mass and am drawn to numerous aspects of pre-Vatican II culture. He has bluntly stated that I cannot long for these things because I have never experienced them. I am now seeking another spiritual director who I hope is more conservative but it just isn’t practical to attend another parish. The masses are loud and distracting and people attend wearing soccer jerseys and swim wear. I will not even mention the lifeteen masses, but I think you can imagine. No one genuflects when passing the Blessed Sacrament. I have only heard three hymns that even sounded Catholic thus far. The rest of the hymns seem to be those “praise band” types. The crucifix is so small and the church design so modern that I can safely say that I have been to Methodist churches that looked more Catholic.

Perhaps I am over-sensitive to perceived “protestanization” because I have been around Protestants my entire life but perhaps not. All I have done since converting is study thelogy, philosophy, Church history, and latin. As I have studied I have become more and more conservative and more and more uncomfortable in my parish. Yet as a convert and teenager I am out of place to make any kind of open criticism of my parish, much less of my priest so I keep silent but is there anything I can do to be traditional in this very non-traditional parish?

pax vobiscum

You might in a respectful way, hint to Father that he, not you, is the odd-ball. His views are more liberal Episcopalian than Catholic. As for your liking of the Latin mass, just tell him you find it more beautiful and less distracting, less like the protestant services you used to attend.

 

[jfoges]

??? , I wouldn’t consider that option.

Why not? You don’t have to attend mass if the only nearby mass is harmful to your spiritual life because of the preaching and type of people there.

 

[Jacafamala]

I can tell you for certain that the place to discern the priesthood isn’t at your current parish. You’re on the wrong track. You need to start looking into different traditional seminaries, such as FSSP or ICKSP or where you think God might be calling you and discern there.

You’ll only be spinning your wheels where you are. In a way, your priest is right? How can you long for what you’ve never experienced? Life is to short. Go find out if you really have a vocation. God bless you, and I’ll pray for you!

:angel1: :angel1: :angel1:

 

[chewchoo]

How can you long for what you’ve never experienced?

this is a very confusing statement

how can anyone long for anything that they haven’t experienced? why do people want to go to hawaii even tho they’ve never been there? why do kids want a dog even tho their parents say no? how can we long to see the face of God even tho we can’t comprehend what that really means?

we hear of other people’s experiences and we want to try it, do it, go there, etc.

 

[Iowa_Mike]

I get the impression that we traditional Catholics should keep silent, bow our heads, suck it up…etc. etc.

How come? I, for one, am tired of listening to the liberal tripe that is in direct contravention of Church doctrine, Apostolic Tradition (capital T) and the Ordinary and Universal Magesterium of the Church all of which come down on my side of the aruguments. With as much charity as I can muster I speak out. I have no problem bringing up rock solid Catholic doctrine to dissenters and ask them how they come to their conclusions.

When I get the ‘old men in Rome’ crack I usually ask if they are talking about the Supreme Pastor as defined by Jesus himself in Matthew

I follow Mathew 16:15-16

16 Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art Christ, the Son of the living God. 17 And Jesus answering, said to him: Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-Jona: because flesh and blood hath not revealed it to thee, but my Father who is in heaven. 18 And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Women priests: Pope John Paul II spoke definitively on this matter in Ordinatio Sacerdotalis. This is doctrine.

In my opinion you priest is off the reservation no you.

Iowa Mike

 

[Jacafamala]

this is a very confusing statement

how can anyone long for anything that they haven’t experienced? why do people want to go to hawaii even tho they’ve never been there? why do kids want a dog even tho their parents say no? how can we long to see the face of God even tho we can’t comprehend what that really means?

we hear of other people’s experiences and we want to try it, do it, go there, etc.

well, yes yes, chewchoo, you’re right actually. But I think the point I was trying to make is for Irish dude to move on and make it happen to see if it’s what he really wants.

 

[withwind]

how?
Be patient with yourself and others; Love all God’s people - even if later on you are called to priesthood, you might be assigned to such parish and you can’t change things over night.

For spritual director, have you asked someone else to be yours?

 

[DocSoos]

Interesting situation. I converted to the Catholic faith back in 1993.
Since then me and my wife have moved alot, been to “liberal” Churches and some conservative ones. We just took our time, got to know people and were happy in both situations. Now, I must say that your Priest and Church does sound ultra liberal. I’ve never met a Priest like that, if I did I would probably would find another Church even if it meant a drive. Thats what we had to do until finding a small “country” Catholic church just 15 minutes drive. So good luck!

 

[kboyar]

Irish Dude I feel your pain. I also attend an exceptionally liberal parish. Although I absolutely respect the decision of those who choose to leave such an environment in an effort to find a pastor who espouses sound Catholic positions there is an alternative position - one that I have personally taken: Stay and fight for your faith. I’m the proverbial pain in the neck to my pastor. Every time he does or says something contrary to the teachings of the Magisterium, I’m calling him to task. The Church allows for such dissent - first your pastor (or parochial vicor), then the Bishop, then - if no satisfaction is forthcoming - onward to the Vatican.

 

[Monica4316]

wow that’s horrible
I think there are only two things you can do… either stay in the parish and pray for the priest and the people there, and be a good example by treating the Eucharist with reverence. Or, consider going to a more traditional parish that’s further away - might mean more driving, but you’ll be happier there.

I was thinking though… that maybe God placed you here for a reason… I’m sure it’s hard and in a way even a cross to carry. Whenever I hear about, or witness, people watering down the Catholic faith…it always makes me feel very sad, but maybe that is how we share in God’s sadness - because of disrespect for the Eucharist… and maybe He wants us to humbly be good examples and pray for such parishes. Humility is key though… don’t draw too much attention to how you worship, because that might cause temptation and distract you from the Mass, but - don’t feel like you have to hide in the corner… of course, genuflect when you walk past the Eucharist, and pray before Mass, etc… maybe others might notice and it might make them think!

I hope you get this figured out… try to trust God… I hope one day you will get to go to a wonderful traditional parish. Pray…

God bless you

 

[Mels]

I know what that’s like. I’m fortunate enough to have an FSSP church right in my town, so I can go to the Latin Mass without much of a problem. However, when I go to the Novus Ordo with my family (they refuse to go with me to TLM ) I stick out like a sore thumb, too - I receive on the tongue, genuflect, wear a headcovering and long skirts. I also go to confession weekly/every two weeks. My parish doesn’t sound as liberal as yours, but I meet the same puzzlement.

Be strong! Definitely try getting a different spiritual director. If possible, consider moving out of the area; if that’s not possible, stick it out as best as possible.