How to be a widow

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That’s good. You won’t have all the “joy” of having to run a probate notice in the papers that will cause every vulture in the county to start e-mailing, writing and calling wanting to buy your property, help you clean out your property, or “help” you with something else. Both me and my elderly aunt-in-law whose husband of over 50 years died 2 weeks before mine have been inundated with that garbage. I quit picking up the mail for too long and I think a lot of it just got returned to senders so they all went away.
 
Hang in there Little…, take your time and do one thing a day.

I will think of, and pray for you often this week.
 
@TheLittleLady
TheLittleLady said:
My husband of 29 years went to God on Friday. It was sudden, unrelated to his chronic health issues.

Here I am, numb. DH received the Sacraments of the Dying including an Apostolic Pardon. My soul is at peace that he is with God.

It is all the rest. I’ve already forgotten the sound of his voice, he did not even have a personal message on his cell phone that I can play over and over.

I tried to sleep in one of his shirts, but, it was too large and uncomfortable. Do I give it all away and then regret that later?

I’ve had a couple of tearing up episodes, but, maybe I am a bad person because I have not broken down and sobbed.

As many times as you have seen others do this, until you lose your spouse, you simply do not know what this is like. We were supposed to grow old together, heck, we were supposed to go to a ComicCon together next week.
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My thoughts and prayers go with you, LittleLady. Prayer and rest, cemetery visits, friends and drives in the country, recalling incidents with family members, Masses in his memory—they all help. Lighting candles, at church or at home, and spending time with Our Lord in Adoration also helped me. My parents and grandparents helped hold me together.

Not only was I sometimes, for months at a time,
unable to hear his voice, but there were times that I couldn’t conjure a picture of his face, either. Keep pictures handy and forgive yourself when that happens because in no way are you responsible. You’ll need good nutrition in order to pick up the pieces and keep on keeping on, and to be strong for your son. Lay off the junk food; choose protein, veggies, vitamins (especially the B’s) and minerals.

Sometimes the nightmare seems like he was just a long-ago dream or someone in an old movie, and sometimes it’s as recent as about 3 weeks ago. On those rare occasions, I might hug his Army dress greens close and have another long cry. I saved his sweaters for our son, but a couple of years after the funeral, I gave the rest of his clothes to a place that gives clothing to the homeless without charge. I can easily see his face and hear his voice now, so those losses will be temporary. Life goes on. Hang in there. It helps to touch base with your priest.
 
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Oh LittleLady, I am so terribly sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you.
 
I’m deeply sorry for your loss. You may find the material at What’s Your Grief? to be helpful. It’s a secular website ran by two psychotherapists, but there’s a LOT of good material here if you’re interested in this sort of thing. God bless.
 
I am so terribly saddened by your sudden loss, too.

May God and His Holy Angels comfort you at this time.

May the soul of your dear husband rest in peace.

You and your dear family are in my thoughts and prayers. ❤️

May God bless all of you in your time of sadness.
 
I have been married 53 years and spent the last seven caring for my wife who has Alzheimer’s.

I planned our life – investing money, buying land, and someone asked me what my plans are when she is gone.

I don’t have any and can’t make any. Plans require goals, and all my goals stated with “we.”

I will pray for you, with all my heart.
 
Afraid I am going to run out of likes today, so, thank you all.

My friends and Church community have been wonderful. Tomorrow night we will gather for visitation in the parish hall and a rosary. Tomorrow morning is his Mass. I just need to get through the next 48 hours.

Our son is my rock. He went to Confession today for the first time in a long time.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss.

Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and don’t think that there is a “right” way to handle things; it’s different for everybody.

I’m glad to read your son went to Confession.
 
God is so good.
Praying for you and for your son tonight.
May He hold you close.
Amen.
 
Don’t be surprised if your husband pops back from time to time to say “Hello” to you.

They’re not really gone, they’re just in the next room.
 
No need to rush anything. This was unexpected and you need time to process it all.

Take it a day at a time.

Praying for you.
 
What? No!
How awful😢
I’m so sorry.

Hugs and know I’ll remember him in my prayers. And you and your family too…
:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:❤️
 
Just before the “song of farewell”/incensing at the Mass yesterday, my best friend’s cell phone voice assist announced “journey is complete, GPS session has ended”.
 
Making a list of widow rules.

#1 it is okay to go to TJ Maxx with your best friend after the funeral, meal, etc. Getting $10 worth of cosmetics from the clearance aisle, this is called “widow makeup shopping”.

#2 Poundcake for breakfast is perfectly acceptable, actually, encouraged. Poundcake and left over jello salads is great for supper.

#3 Bereavement luncheon committees need to make MORE funeral potatoes, because the non-Southern family members have never heard of the dish, eat so much that there is not much sent home for “widow leftovers”. Same applies for corn casserole.

#4 Does anyone want rolls or french bread? Seriously, I have never met a carb I did not like, but, we (DS and I) are never going to eat all of this bread.

Other #1 It is perfectly okay to wear pants to a funeral Mass. Don’t think you must wear a dress if you are not comfortable in a dress.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss! Take your time dealing with all the chores that come with this life event. Don’t make any huge decisions during the first few months after the death of a spouse. Don’t clean out his belongings right away, especially clothing. You’ll know when you are ready to tackle that. Don’t let others pressure you into getting it done and out of the way.

May God keep you in the palm of his hand during this time. My thoughts and prayers will be with you!
 
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