How to be less intense when talking about the faith?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Riman643
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

Riman643

Guest
I often have the issue when speaking about the faith, especially with my parents, where I come across as very intense. My parents “claim” to be Catholics but they really believe more Protestant dogmas. The root of their issues to me is that they are moral relativists and when I challenge them on it they get really defensive. I feel like it is my responsibility to get them back to the faith but I am really struggling. I have more of a logical mindset where I feel they are more emotional minded and easily influenced by the culture. Any tips?
 
Don’t judge your parents so much. If it’s a problem explaining it by words than do so by actions.
 
Don’t challenge them, and avoid arguing. I think it may actually be wise to stop talking about religion altogether, as it seems to create a lot of tension for you all. If they have questions answer them, but don’t get drawn into debating.

Actions speak much louder than words. Instead of arguing, live the best Catholic life you can and show the joy you get from it.

Don’t put so much pressure on trying to change your parents’ minds. Accept them for where they are in their faith journeys and you will feel more at peace.
 
Last edited:
I think you need to realize that it isn’t your “responsibility to get them back to the faith.” They have free will, they can choose for themselves.
 
What makes you intense? Concern for them? Need to be right? One for he with?othe issues you have with them?
 
Don’t put so much pressure on trying to change your parents’ minds. Accept them for where they are in their faith journeys and you will feel more at peace.
Click to expand...
It’s hard to do that when their souls eternal resting place is on the line.
 
With all due respect, this is the third thread you have started about your parents and how you are having issues with their practice, or non-practice, of the Catholic faith.

It’s time to let it go and just pray for your parents and set a good example, and other than that, live your life and stop hounding them. They are not your responsibility; they are adults, you are an adult, they are not your children who you’re trying to train up in good habits. Focus on your own faith practice more and on theirs less.
 
Rather than moralising (which I have done in the past-not a good example), focus on being a good Christian example. There’s a hymn called “They will know we are Christians by our love”.

One poster said to me a few months ago that I should make 1 Corinthians: 13 my inspiration. That’s very good advice that has allowed me to look at things in a different light. Consider 1 Corinthians 13 in dealings with your parents.

Think: “what would Our Lord, His Mother, and my patron saint want me to do”.

" 1 If I speak in human and angelic tongues[b] but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. 2 And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 [c]Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, 5 it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, 6 it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 [d]Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. 9 For we know partially and we prophesy partially, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. 12 At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. 13 [e]So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
 
Last edited:
It’s less about my parents more about being a better evangelizer. I just used my parents as an example because that’s where I struggle most with evangelizing.
 
I hate to sound patronising, but my advice is genuine.

Young people are inclined to be “intense” about issues, and with correcting others. They also tend see things in black-and-white.

You seem to be aware of the problem yourself, in the title of the thread, by admitting that you are too “intense” when talking about the faith.

So, start by following your own advice - just be less intense when talking about the faith.

I was in a similar situation, but more so with the whole world than just my family as a young, enthusiastic convert.

If I could give some words of advice to my younger self, they would be: 1. Avoid “intensity” in social situations, no matter how important you feel the issue is. 2. It is better to say nothing, than to say the wrong thing. 3. Listen more to others, even if you feel that you know more than they do. Really listen. I recall reading somewhere that the future St John Paul II was delightful company in his younger days, and that he was noted for listening to others rather than speaking himself.

If this sounds patronising, let me assure you that it’s from hard learned experience.
 
Last edited:
If you get a lot of defensiveness from them, it is time to speak less and pray more for them. Entrust the matter to God.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top