How to be more confident as a man

[WildCatholic]

How do I become more confident. I am a 24 year old young man who struggles this. I really struggle especially with girls. While I’m a good guy and know god loves me. It’s tough because I struggle with a lot. I’m not that great at talking to girls and it sucks because I stare and look like a creep. I’m also so negative. It has especially hurt me this summer because I work with this super cute and godly young woman who I know doesn’t like me as of now. It hurts so much. I wish I was a more confident person like my friend who I work with. This girl is super attracted to him with the Goo Goo eyes and it hurts me even more because he’s much better looking than I, but is in seminary. So what do I do to gain more confidence

 

[SHANTARAM]

Well it is a cliche, but the only reason anything becomes a cliche is because it is true, but: fake it till you make it. Just act confident: stand up straight, speak louder but calmly, look people in the eye, have set boundaries, opinions. Then put yourself in uncomfortable situations till they become comfortable, one step in front of the other.

You will be nervous/scared/whatever and the only way to eliminate that feeling is through action.

Just start talking to girls.

Change is good, and change who you are continually, never accept the status quo that your ego will defend tooth and nail. Always be progressing, change yourself into the man who has no hesitations about going up to the cute girl in the grocery market and saying “Hi, I’m ___.”

 

[aeroengr]

Just hang in there man. I was (still am) just like you. Extremely nervous to talk to anyone, let alone girls. I’m a firm believer that God will send along the perfect person for you at the perfect time. He sure did for me. I met the perfect girl in a situation where I didn’t even need to do much talking to get to know her. We’ve been married 8 years now and have 3 beautiful daughters. Its kind of funny, I still get nervous talking to her. Still afraid I’m going to say something stupid. But, she’s an amazing woman who understands my fears. Just hang in there. Keep trying your best and God will send someone your way eventually.

 

[Winter_Warlock_1]

Wild,

My opinion would be to first – be yourself, being shy is not being weak. The thing with confidence is you can choose to be, yes it will be difficult at first but just try to think of yourself as a confident man of God.

The thing about confidence is that it is an attitude. I was very shy and not very sociable because of it, when I started a new job in a new area I made the decision to try and be outgoing, social and confident behaving as if I always have been (even though at times internally I had doubts). After a short bit of time talking with people (yes and women also) and being confident – people accepted that I have always been like this, and soon after even the internal doubts were gone.

Try not to think about how people view you – no point in that, for the only thing that truly matters is how you view yourself – and that you follow and trust God and the teachings of Jesus.

Winter

 

[marymary1975]

You need to work on your self esteem. Start appreciating and loving yourself more. God loves you, Jesus loves you, why you shouldn’t love your own self. I think you need to stop comparing yourself to other and start seeing the good in you. Lacking self esteem and not having confidence is someone that others can feel and may push girls away. Lacking confidence usually has to do with the fact that you feel you are not.good enough. If you are a good guy, practicing catholic and following Christ, why feeling that you are not good enough? You should be proud of it. Replace that negativity with love for Jesus, love for others and love for yourself, try to find happiness in the love of Jesus and of course pray to him to help you being more confident.

 

[R_C]

How do I become more confident. I am a 24 year old young man who struggles this. I really struggle especially with girls. While I’m a good guy and know god loves me. It’s tough because I struggle with a lot. I’m not that great at talking to girls and it sucks because I stare and look like a creep. I’m also so negative. It has especially hurt me this summer because I work with this super cute and godly young woman who I know doesn’t like me as of now. It hurts so much. I wish I was a more confident person like my friend who I work with. This girl is super attracted to him with the Goo Goo eyes and it hurts me even more because he’s much better looking than I, but is in seminary. So what do I do to gain more confidence

Maybe stop worrying about this at all, and come to appreciate the fact that celibacy is a worthy state of life.

Maybe realize that the basis for a healthy relationship is not based on wordliness and vanity, though exterior factors do play a role in our attractions. Friendship and Christian love is the solid foundation for a relationship that may lead to dating and even to matrimony, assuming that this is the vocation that God has given you.

Consider also whether you may be called to something other than Holy Matrimony. If you have never discerned God’s will on this matter, this may be a good time to do so under spiritual direction.

 

[GangGreen]

From what I’ve noticed is that guys who struggle talking to girls either
a) try too hard to impress them
b) get too nervous because they prop women up too high

Just talk to them like you would talk to anyone else. If you talk to a woman like you would talk to any of your guy friends it will automatically shows more confidence than if you’re nervous. I always notice that guys in relationships tend to find that girls are more interested in them than when they weren’t. Maybe part of it is that women want what they can’t have, but also it’s because those guys aren’t trying to impress them. They’re just treating them like they would treat any other person. Keep that in mind, maybe it will help you.

 

[Mastiff_Eng]

In my experience Woman like confident Men, but not overly so as to border on Arrogant.
To develop confidence have God at the centre of your life, eat healthily, Exercise/keep fit
and develop interests.

Always remember God comes first, Pray and ask for guidance.