How to be more positive and eliminate negativity

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I’ve been looking to eliminate negativity in my life and be more positive. I have made some solid progress throughout the past year by not reading anything political, almost eliminating Facebook (which has a LOT of negativity), and trying to avoid news that I know will upset me. But as many good ideas I have, it’s a lot harder to implement than I thought.

One of the ideas I’ve had was anytime I think of something negative about someone or see someone that I dislike, to think two positive aspects of that person instead. This works great when I think of doing this, and it can be shocking how hard it is to think of positive aspects of a person, which shows how poisoned my thoughts have become. But it’s really hard, in the heat of the moment, to do this.

Does anyone have any tips on how to implement things to stop thinking badly of others, and to be more positive? Or any books to read. It doesn’t have to be religious tips, although I have found St. Josemaria Escriva’s “The Way” to be helpful.
 
I am SO not perfect; but, the biggest help I have found, in regards to people, is to pray for them.

I’ll admit those prayers may not start out especially charitable; I can recall one that went something like, “Please, Lord, help “Susan” not to be such an ungrateful, disagreable jerk.”

Yeah, not my proudest moment. 😊

With time the anger and negativity is replaced
with acceptance; I may still not like “Susan” but it is easier to see and appreciate her good qualities and not become irrationally angered because I have to look at her stupid, hateful face. 🤣
 
I think that what you’re doing is great. My suggestion may have the same issues but I try to find excuses for the behaviour. One more that may not work is reminding myself that I’m sure that I do things that annoy others.
 
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My mum often says to me to “get back to basics” .For me that would be to bring my thinking in more,become aware of all the small gifts we are given (the beauty of nature )put all the worry and negativity aside and live in the moment being grateful to God for all the good.And to do this through out the day.
 
I’m a negative Natalie. I do not believe in making up possible excuses for other people’s behavior I know some of the saints do that. I don’t think you must find something positive in another person, if it helps you do that. I’d much rather I pray for them and acknowledge their bad points and leave it to the Lord. I don’t always agree with the Catholic way of self deprecation to gain humility or glossing over another’s flaws. Honestly look for tips for Mother Teresa and the litany of humility.
 
Fostering gratitude can help in becoming more positive. I try to be thankful for even little things, such as the delicious food I ate, the opportunity to spend time with my nephew, going to events where I meet new friends, playing a game, learning a new skill, etc. I find that I am happier.
 
I try to practice a combination of empathy and prayer, putting myself in the offending person’s shoes. If I get cut off in traffic, I think, “That person really wants to get home, just like me. Lord, keep us safe on the road.” When someone was acting like a jerk at work, I’d think, “They’re really having a bad day, and making it bad for the rest of us too. Maybe something’s going wrong in their family life. Lord, help us!” I do try to give others the benefit of the doubt, because the alternative is just me carrying around a lot of needless anger, aggravation and useless frustration. And if someone is constantly offensive, I think, “Maybe they were repeatedly dropped on their head as a child. Lord, bless us with the healing grace we all need!”
 
Congrats on working hard to be more positive. I’ve been trying to do the same for a couple years, mostly using affirmations and thought strategies.

I got a Pardon Cross and have been using it for some months to remind myself to forgive “enemies” and just see them as people. When a super annoying person comes into my life, I figure God sent them into my life because they need me to pray for them, so I work on doing that, even if the prayer does come out sometimes like “God, please bless that person even though they are acting like a total jerk.”
 
I think the last prayer is okay, if the person was really being a jerk, we are not required to like people, only to love them. Christians are also taught that love is an act of the will. I pray for people I do not like without feelings. I think that’s okay.
 
That is a good approach to keeping yourself positive.
 
Just listen to this all day long…Or you could whistle it constantly. Just be ready for a back lash and always where riot gear. (For some, humming will be optimal.)

 
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On a slightly more serious note:
  1. Make lots of Holy Hours (Eucaharistic Adoration)…even 5 or 10 minutes is good.
  2. Get a good night’s sleep.
  3. Get some good exercise every day.
  4. Remember what Francis would say when you see bad behavior, “But for the Grace of God, there go I.”
  5. Cultivate your Faith daily.
True Charity consists in bearing with all the defects of our neighbor, in not being surprised at his failings, and in being edified by his least virtues.

-St. Therese of the Child Jesus
 
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I am getting this from the Desert Fathers.
  1. Whenever you identify a failure or sin (wrongly or especially rightly) in another, shift your thoughts to a sin of your own that you struggle with. Every time the other person crosses your mind.
  2. Think of another in sin as a victim of (yes) demonic influence. The Fathers freely and regularly talk about demons, kind of like the Bible does, but we don’t. To modernize it: Demons in the sense of a dark, negative influence that misguides a person. The Protestants have that catchy phrase, love the sinner, hate the sin. Try and picture the person without the sin.
  3. Pray for those who are vulnerable to sins - including yourself.
  4. The more time you spend correcting yourself, the less time you have to get into trouble thinking about others. Leave most of this to God until you really must act in some way in response to a sinful influence from another in your life, at which point it is ok to condemn sin by word or deed, duty even.
 
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My horse used to like that song when I sang it,steadied right up and moved in time 😉
 
Just don’t sing it around me or i’ll lop your head off. 😱

j.k.

😀😀😀
 
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OP you use the word positive but is kindness more accurate?

When I hear positive I think of self-motivation and affirmations, which are good but maybe not what you are looking for. Look into the book “The Hidden Power of Kindness: A Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time” by Lawrence G. Lovasik. The first chapter is about attitude which i think speaks to your desire to think more positively of others. From the book:

“The secret impulse out of which kindness acts is an instinct that is the noblest part of yourself. It is the most undoubted remnant of the image of God, given to us at the beginning.”

The writer is doing to the reader what you desire to do, seeing the best in others. It’s really a lovely book.
 
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FollowChrist34 said:
The more time you spend correcting yourself, the less time you have to get into trouble thinking about others. Leave most of this to God until you really must act in some way in response to a sinful influence from another in your life, at which point it is ok to condemn sin by word or deed, duty even.
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I seriously wish everyone would follow this advice.
I also do frequently find myself thinking, when someone acts like a jerk to me, “Have there been occasions in my own life where I acted thoughtlessly like this to someone else?” In some cases the answer is yes.
 
A lot of times I think you don’t realize it. You forget to tell someone something they need to know, you forget to invite somebody, you don’t respond timely enough to something, make a careless comment, dig, that causes offense (when you wanted to generate enlightenment, reflection). Accordingly I don’t think a vast majority of the offenses we perceive from others are anywhere near as malignant as they seem us. Someone tailgates you because he is late for work and had a fight with his wife, his new boss doesn’t like him…I always pray for forgiveness of known and unknown transgressions.
 
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