How to beat lust

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Avoid her at all costs, but is there a certain reason that forces you to be around her?
 
Sometimes I wonder whether lust is not more like the sea or a deep river: The harder you try to contain it, the more devastating it will be when it breaks through eventually. Mind you, I wrote “when”, not “if”. The only difference may be people can pat themselves on the shoulder for at least trying to put up a fight.
 
Mostly by avoiding occasions of sin. Avoid places/ people/ television shows/ websites, that you know cause lust. Replace these with prayer harmless activities.
 
Psalms 119:9-11 How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word.
10 With my whole heart I seek you;do not let me stray from your commandments.11 I treasure your word in my heart,so that I may not sin against you.
 
Lost4words said:
How does one overcome lust, Sins of the flesh, sexual needs / desires?
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Psychologists identified four fundamental needs: security, self-esteem, autonomy, and connection. There is no individual need for sex, but rather it is a physiological drive.

The help of supernatural grace makes concupiscence conquerable.

Catechism
1264 Yet certain temporal consequences of sin remain in the baptized, such as suffering, illness, death, and such frailties inherent in life as weaknesses of character, and so on, as well as an inclination to sin that Tradition calls concupiscence, or metaphorically, “the tinder for sin” (fomes peccati); since concupiscence “is left for us to wrestle with, it cannot harm those who do not consent but manfully resist it by the grace of Jesus Christ.” Indeed, “an athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.”
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Some bad habits are established which become involuntary, and are difficult to dislodge from the subconscious mind. Catholic Encyclopedia: “From the defect arises the evil of the act, from the fact that it is voluntary, its imputability.”
O’Neil, A.C. (1912). Sin. In The Catholic Encyclopedia. New York: Robert Appleton Company. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14004b.htm
 
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I’d just like to add to the other very good advice and information that’s been given in this thread. 1 Corinthians 10:13 is a very powerful verse. It has helped me no end. I think it’s important to know that we have the power to resist.
somecanadian said:
to NEVER be alone with her.
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This! There are usually triggers to our behaviours and it’s very important to make an effort to avoid them or to find distractions when the situation emerges, before anything can happen.
 
Cold showers really work. Even if not overcoming temptation, its a good practice.
I dont like that feeling when freezing water hits your skin. But you get pretty quick accustomed to it and then you dont feel that pain.
 
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The lust is not over porn or other women etc. Its only about this one woman.

She is always on my mind. I have tried and tried to keep her out but fail. We are not around each other as i only see her when we meet up for sex etc.

I have spoken with my priest. He knows the situation very well. Its the fact that i am weak in mind and flesh. I can go a few weeks without meeting up with her then boom! I have to see her, touch her, etc etc…

Makes me sick inside. I know i am going to be extremely guilty straight after yet i still go ahead with the filthy deed.

I welcome all your good advice. I am determined to beat this somehow.
 
From cognitive-behavioral studies, as others have alluded to: face it, replace it, and connect. Face your temptation head on, and decide not to give in. To assist in your determination, find something better to do. Replace it with some licit activity that still gives you pleasure. Finally, connect with someone else (other than that woman, obviously), to get yourself out of your head, so to speak. This connection can be to God or the saints through prayer, or it can be with family or friends, especially those who encourage a good moral life. Volunteering at a charity, or joining a prayer group or a men’s group, or sports if that’s your thing - something to get you connected with others and take your mind off that woman.

And after all that, it can be easier said than done, I know. Don’t give up trying, and don’t ever give up on confession.
 
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You are making the decision to seek her out when the urge hits.

You have to make the decision NOT to.

When you get the urge to contact her, phone another friend instead. Go to Mass. Seek out your family. Do ANYTHING other than go to her.

It’s your choice to make but you must start by making the choice to replace seeking her with seeking something else.
 
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