How to bring someone back to the faith

[Gordon_Sims]

I agree, we need to show sympathy to the victims. What I try to do is say 'The abuse that happened was horrible. Sadly, sometime the church is restricted by the times and often back then there was no protection for victims. Even parents got away with abusing kids because the laws were so different.

At least the Catholic church is finally giving their victims a voice

The problem is that the people I’m referring to are not victims in any way, shape or form. It would be like me quitting the Royal Order of Water Buffaloes and blaming them for every problem in my life because someone in the Poughkeepsie chapter shoplifted from a grocery chain I’ve never heard of. If someone said I was nuts or that I was using that person as an easy scapegoat or substitute for my real reasons for quitting, they’d be absolutely right. It’s like my friend who, to this day, cusses up a storm whenever the Church is mentioned because his local parish didn’t help his mom pay her mortgage and she lost her house. He neglects to mention that she never asked them to help, but he goes right on blaming them. Anything you say to these people about their professed reasons for hating the Church are irrelevant because those reasons honestly have nothing to do with their attitudes.

 

[pensmama87]

The problem is that the people I’m referring to are not victims in any way, shape or form. It would be like me quitting the Royal Order of Water Buffaloes and blaming them for every problem in my life because someone in the Poughkeepsie chapter shoplifted from a grocery chain I’ve never heard of. If someone said I was nuts or that I was using that person as an easy scapegoat or substitute for my real reasons for quitting, they’d be absolutely right. It’s like my friend who, to this day, cusses up a storm whenever the Church is mentioned because his local parish didn’t help his mom pay her mortgage and she lost her house. He neglects to mention that she never asked them to help, but he goes right on blaming them. Anything you say to these people about their professed reasons for hating the Church are irrelevant because those reasons honestly have nothing to do with their attitudes.

I don’t know if you can know hearts in that way.

I agree that sometimes people *may *be frivolous or certainly have the appearance of it, but I’d rather treat it compassionately rather than dismissively. They may choose to stew in whatever hurt as long as they want, but at least you know (and have shown) that pushing aside people’s pain is not the default Catholic approach.

“I’m so sorry that is causing you so much pain” is a simple thing to say but it opens the door.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

It would be like me quitting the Royal Order of Water Buffaloes and blaming them for every problem in my life because someone in the Poughkeepsie chapter shoplifted from a grocery chain I’ve never heard of.

Do you honestly see no difference between a random person in Poughkeepsie shoplifting and a priest or bishop – having received Holy Orders and now representing the Church – harming your brother or sister in Christ? Do you see no difference between swiping an item worth a few dollars and the billions of dollars that have been paid out by the Church and her insurance companies? Do you see no difference between the Royal Order of Buffaloes and any harm that may have been done to that organization and the harm that has been done to the Body of Christ by the actions of abusers and those who covered up their actions?

I have been tempted to despair over what has happened. I can completely understand why someone would want nothing to do with the Church based on these actions. Frankly, reading your message is a reminder to me of why I’ve cut way back on CAF. It’s simply not good for my spiritual life. If the Catholic Church and her leaders are equivalent to Fred Flintstone’s lodge, why bother?

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Do you honestly see no difference between a random person in Poughkeepsie shoplifting and a priest or bishop – having received Holy Orders and now representing the Church – harming your brother or sister in Christ? Do you see no difference between swiping an item worth a few dollars and the billions of dollars that have been paid out by the Church and her insurance companies? Do you see no difference between the Royal Order of Buffaloes and any harm that may have been done to that organization and the harm that has been done to the Body of Christ by the actions of abusers and those who covered up their actions?

I have been tempted to despair over what has happened. I can completely understand why someone would want nothing to do with the Church based on these actions. Frankly, reading your message is a reminder to me of why I’ve cut way back on CAF. It’s simply not good for my spiritual life. If the Catholic Church and her leaders are equivalent to Fred Flintstone’s lodge, why bother?

I’m not comparing the Church to the Flintstones. I’m referring to the people I have dealt with personally who blame all their woes on something that didn’t happen to them or anyone they know. I’m sorry but your girlfriend didn’t cheat on you because of the abuse scandal and the reason you never received a call back on that resume you sent in wasn’t because of the Church. For the record, I also have friends who were abused who didn’t use that as a reason to leave the Church. My point is that the ones I know who use the abuse scandal or some other concocted wrong as a scapegoat for why they left the Church aren’t very open to listening to why they shouldn’t have left in the first place.

 

[MtnDwellar]

How do you bring someone back to the faith?

Prayer

 

[Anglewannabe]

The problem is that the people I’m referring to are not victims in any way, shape or form. .

Yes, I agree a great many just want to use that as an excuse to criticize. Unfortunately, we don’t really know their hearts. Perhaps point out some good priest you know they can talk to