How to change? š
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Psychae
Guest
Sorry youāre feeling this way.
Find something you have that life would suck even more if you didnāt have it, and tell God thank you for it. Like maybe electricity.
āThank you, God, for electricity.ā
It always makes me feel better and regain some hope that things will be OK.
Find something you have that life would suck even more if you didnāt have it, and tell God thank you for it. Like maybe electricity.
āThank you, God, for electricity.ā
It always makes me feel better and regain some hope that things will be OK.
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ErraticFaith
Guest
Change always starts from within. That said plenty of people can influence us in positive and negative ways. Seeking out the former of those two is always a good first step! 
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TK421
Guest
Diary of St Faustina, Notebook V
āConversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soulā
Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.
ā But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.
Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.
ā In the soul arises this reply: āFor me there is no mercy,ā and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.
Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand Godās effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.
My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.
Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does ā that after so many efforts of My (84) love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lordā¦
Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.
āConversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soulā
Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.
ā But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.
Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.
ā In the soul arises this reply: āFor me there is no mercy,ā and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.
Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand Godās effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.
My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.
Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does ā that after so many efforts of My (84) love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lordā¦
Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.
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TK421
Guest
Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.
Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.
Jesus: Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.
Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.
Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery ā you are still too weak to speak of it ā but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.
Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me, and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to
Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.
Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.
Jesus: Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.
Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.
Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery ā you are still too weak to speak of it ā but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.
Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me, and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to
Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.
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TK421
Guest
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Heavenly Father, provide Nelka with the grace and strength to continue forward, and to continue to grow in holiness, even in ways that might be entirely hidden from him and the entire world.
Amen.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Heavenly Father, provide Nelka with the grace and strength to continue forward, and to continue to grow in holiness, even in ways that might be entirely hidden from him and the entire world.
Amen.
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misstherese
Guest
I feel for you. I have also struggled with this. Remember, change in the soul can only come from God. As St. Vitus, a martyr, in an apparition has said, āOur Lord designates every Christian a martyr on earth, not one martyr is the same. God wants from some their blood and the others a martyrdom of suffering, anxiety and depression.ā God views our sufferings as little flowers that we give to Him, where He in turn transforms them into bouquets and gives them back.
Have you heard of the 7 mansions of the soul? Or, perhaps, the 9 grades of prayer? I find it helpful, myself, when I can see an outline of the direction the Lord is taking me, molding me. St. Ignatiusās commentary on spiritual desolation has also helped. Desolation is necessary for us to grow holier and to reach that, āHeaven on earthā.
7 mansions: The Seven Mansions of Teresa of Avila | Catholic Strength
9 grades of prayer: St
Spiritual desolation: Introduction to Discernment of Spirits - IgnatianSpirituality.com
God bless
Have you heard of the 7 mansions of the soul? Or, perhaps, the 9 grades of prayer? I find it helpful, myself, when I can see an outline of the direction the Lord is taking me, molding me. St. Ignatiusās commentary on spiritual desolation has also helped. Desolation is necessary for us to grow holier and to reach that, āHeaven on earthā.
7 mansions: The Seven Mansions of Teresa of Avila | Catholic Strength
9 grades of prayer: St
Spiritual desolation: Introduction to Discernment of Spirits - IgnatianSpirituality.com
God bless
M
MercyWarrior88
Guest
shalom, misstherese. I have a question. Where did you get the concept: āGod views our sufferings as little flowers that we give to Him, which He in turn transforms them into bouquets and gives them back.ā Is this a quotation from a saint?
Iām asking you this because I dreamed of my deceased father giving me a very big bouquet of rosesā¦ it has a variety of colors. I feel that this dream is not an ordinary dream, that it has a certain significance. The bouquet was soo big. And yes, my life is filled with sufferings. Big ones. Hoping for your reply, God bless.
Iām asking you this because I dreamed of my deceased father giving me a very big bouquet of rosesā¦ it has a variety of colors. I feel that this dream is not an ordinary dream, that it has a certain significance. The bouquet was soo big. And yes, my life is filled with sufferings. Big ones. Hoping for your reply, God bless.
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anon68864946
Guest
Wow! What an amazing, beautiful dream! I believe youāre right, that this dream does have significance, but what the significance is I couldnāt say for sure.
As for the concept of suffering being like flowers to God, I think it belongs to The Little Flower, Saint Therese. Youāve probably heard of her and her Little Way of offering up every single trial and suffering in her life, no matter how big or small, for God. This is what she said:
āNo other means have I of proving my love (to God) than to strew flowers; that is, to let no little sacrifice escape me, not a look, not a word, to avail of the very least actions and do them for Love. I wish to suffer for Loveās sake and for Loveās sake even to rejoice; thus shall I strew flowers. Not one shall I find without shedding its petals for Theeā¦and then I will sing, I will always sing, even if I must gather my roses in the very midst of thorns - and the longer and sharper the thorns the sweeter shall be my song.ā
After Saint Therese died, she promised she would send down from Heaven āa shower of rosesā. Maybe your dream is a gift from her? Or a sign that your Father is in Heaven, or that your suffering is being used for good? I find it slightly amazing that the woman who said something very similar to the dream that you had, has the username misstherese!
(and here I am, replying to you with Saint Therese as my profile picture, )
I await missthereseās reply too. She has a strong faith, and I always find a lot of truth and beauty in what she writes.
God Bless you
As for the concept of suffering being like flowers to God, I think it belongs to The Little Flower, Saint Therese. Youāve probably heard of her and her Little Way of offering up every single trial and suffering in her life, no matter how big or small, for God. This is what she said:
āNo other means have I of proving my love (to God) than to strew flowers; that is, to let no little sacrifice escape me, not a look, not a word, to avail of the very least actions and do them for Love. I wish to suffer for Loveās sake and for Loveās sake even to rejoice; thus shall I strew flowers. Not one shall I find without shedding its petals for Theeā¦and then I will sing, I will always sing, even if I must gather my roses in the very midst of thorns - and the longer and sharper the thorns the sweeter shall be my song.ā
After Saint Therese died, she promised she would send down from Heaven āa shower of rosesā. Maybe your dream is a gift from her? Or a sign that your Father is in Heaven, or that your suffering is being used for good? I find it slightly amazing that the woman who said something very similar to the dream that you had, has the username misstherese!
(and here I am, replying to you with Saint Therese as my profile picture,
)I await missthereseās reply too. She has a strong faith, and I always find a lot of truth and beauty in what she writes.
God Bless you
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anon68864946
Guest
Neika, I will keep you in my prayers! I have felt this way before, especially recently 
I have often felt like a hypocrite for praying, because I revert to doing bad straight after. Letās not give up together! Keep praying for the graces needed to become a Saint, to see the good in others and to love God above all things. Keep going to Confession and Holy Communion, and visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament! Letās not let the devil win, he wants us to feel this way.
God bless you. See you in Heaven some day and we can laugh about all of this
I have often felt like a hypocrite for praying, because I revert to doing bad straight after. Letās not give up together! Keep praying for the graces needed to become a Saint, to see the good in others and to love God above all things. Keep going to Confession and Holy Communion, and visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament! Letās not let the devil win, he wants us to feel this way.
God bless you. See you in Heaven some day and we can laugh about all of this
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MercyWarrior88
Guest
Shalom, petite-reverie! Thanks a lot for shedding light on this matter, and even quoting St. Therese, too. I did pray a novena to St. Therese, and before I dreamed of my deceased father giving me a bouquet of roses, I had already experienced the āshower of rosesā in my dream. I dreamed that hundreds, or maybe millions of red roses were raining down on me in a magical, slow motion. There so many of them that the ground became red. It was as if I was in a trance. How generous of St. Therese to have sent my father too, to give me a big bouquet of roses! Did St. Therese actually give me two signs? Why? The thought overwhelms me. 
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anon68864946
Guest
I donāt have the words to describe how beautiful that isā¦ You are so blessed to have been sent a sign like this from Saint Therese, and now you have been blessed twice! It just goes to show that the Saints love us dearly, and that they do hear us when we pray. Also, God is with us when we suffer!
Our God is an incredible Godā¦ Such an amazing and loving Father
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MercyWarrior88
Guest
Thank you so much for your comforting words. So far, you are the kindest CAF member Iāve interacted with. And your wordsā¦they are full of wisdom and they touch my heart. You are a blessing to this site. Keep on doing what you do, encouraging and comforting people. God will reward you immensely. God bless you.
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Edward_H
Guest
Changing our ways, our defects, our weaknesses is tough tough work, especially when we try to do a lot, or do it alone.
The Church recommends gradualness, and unity with God in our attempts to become better, more holy, more cheerful, more useful to God.
Slow, small, constant, with God.
Pick one and only one thing you want to work on; turn it into a formal crisp resolution:
āIn my morning prayer, Iām going to ask Jesus for help so that I have less critical spirit in my thoughts of othersā.
Then in your evening exam (2m)ā¦ask your Guardian Angel to give you light to see your day as Jesus didā¦first "did I ask Jesus this morning to help me in this resolution. [Always frame the key part of your resolution into a Yes or No answerā¦ādid you ask Jesus for help?ā. Then: Show me how I did on my resolutionā¦go over at high speed your dayā¦dwelling on both the concrete events where you held back a critical thoughtā¦or chased it away in your headā¦and the times where you may have āgiven inā to nursing a critical thought.
Then say a quick act of contrition, asking God for more help.
This way you have ā3 people working on the project of bettermentā: Jesus, your Guardian Angel, and yourself. āNever try to improve aloneā can become your operative motto!
Thank you.
Iām sorry.
Help me more.
Then take your progress and major failures to Jesus in Sacramental Confession, every month or so, asking Jesus for āeven more graceā to get closer to Him.
Work on just one defect at a time for, say, 2 weeks.
God has a way of āmultiplying the loavesā of your progress into other areas of your lifeā¦negative image, procrastinationā¦
Just pick one, with God, and work with God to improve.
The Church recommends gradualness, and unity with God in our attempts to become better, more holy, more cheerful, more useful to God.
Slow, small, constant, with God.
Pick one and only one thing you want to work on; turn it into a formal crisp resolution:
āIn my morning prayer, Iām going to ask Jesus for help so that I have less critical spirit in my thoughts of othersā.
Then in your evening exam (2m)ā¦ask your Guardian Angel to give you light to see your day as Jesus didā¦first "did I ask Jesus this morning to help me in this resolution. [Always frame the key part of your resolution into a Yes or No answerā¦ādid you ask Jesus for help?ā. Then: Show me how I did on my resolutionā¦go over at high speed your dayā¦dwelling on both the concrete events where you held back a critical thoughtā¦or chased it away in your headā¦and the times where you may have āgiven inā to nursing a critical thought.
Then say a quick act of contrition, asking God for more help.
This way you have ā3 people working on the project of bettermentā: Jesus, your Guardian Angel, and yourself. āNever try to improve aloneā can become your operative motto!
Thank you.
Iām sorry.
Help me more.
Then take your progress and major failures to Jesus in Sacramental Confession, every month or so, asking Jesus for āeven more graceā to get closer to Him.
Work on just one defect at a time for, say, 2 weeks.
God has a way of āmultiplying the loavesā of your progress into other areas of your lifeā¦negative image, procrastinationā¦
Just pick one, with God, and work with God to improve.
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anon68864946
Guest
MercyWarrior, thank you! I think your words are the kindest I have ever heard. Thank you.
You have touched my heart also. I hope that one day I can hug you very tightly in Heaven! Please pray for me, I will pray for you. God bless you, God bless you, a thousand times!
You have touched my heart also. I hope that one day I can hug you very tightly in Heaven! Please pray for me, I will pray for you. God bless you, God bless you, a thousand times!
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MercyWarrior88
Guest
Now, those are the kindest words I have ever heard in my entire life! I will definitely pray for you,thank you for wanting to pray for me too. You have a beautiful soul. I relish the thought of us hugging tightly in heaven. May God bless you MORE, a million times more
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misstherese
Guest
Those were my words, but influenced by what the saints have said. It was a saint I read about (maybe St. Therese?) that said she gave her sufferings to Jesus like little flowers.
But He always gives us much more in return, so our little flowers turn into bouquets (graces).
Thatās a very interesting dream! It sounds significant.
But He always gives us much more in return, so our little flowers turn into bouquets (graces).
Thatās a very interesting dream! It sounds significant.
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MercyWarrior88
Guest
thanks a lot for your answer, misstherese. How insightful you are to have come up with an idea like that. Yes, it does make a lot of senseā¦God gathering these flowers of sufferings to make a ābouquetā of graces . We give something and God gives them back to us as precious blessings. Actually, the bouquet I saw in my dream was made up of roses of superior quality (they were extra big and so beautiful), as if picked from heavenās garden. Im really hoping that it was a sign from St. Therese.
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misstherese
Guest
Iām betting it was! Roses especially are symbolic of sufferings. They are of the greatest quality, our sufferings, when done out of love. Bless you.
Roses especially are symbolic of sufferings. They are of the greatest quality, our sufferings, when done out of love. Bless you.- Status