How to choose a parish for the first time?

[colettecop]

Hi there, and thanks for clicking.

I’m not Catholic, but after a lot of thought and soul searching I really feel that the Catholic Church is the right one. But I’ve never set foot in a Catholic church (parish?) in my life! I’m a Protestant and went to church as a child, but I get the idea that Catholic church is much different.

I know I can read about the basics of church ettiquitte in a book, but I would really apreciate it if you guys could share with me some of the things that may vary from church to church, and why/if they matter. There are several Catholic churches in my area, and I don’t know how I should choose which one to go to! My first thought is to just pick the one with the friendliest people – but if I was picking a church that way, then I would have just gone to church with one of the many nice Mormons I’ve known.

Any advice or expriences you have to share would be very appreciated. I want to take the first step and visit the churches in my area, but I am so nervous. I’m a very shy person and I don’t want to make a spectacle/nuisance of myself by doing something wrong.

 

[Ahimsa]

I would suggest that you pick an Eastern Rite Catholic Church (which are fully Catholic; they might be called ‘Greek Catholic’ or ‘Maronite Catholic’ or ‘Melkite Catholic’, for instance ) to go to first. They should be listed under the Yellow Pages under “Churches – Catholic” or in the Saturday issue of the local newspaper, in the ‘church’ section.

Other than that, I think the best advice is to jump in without too many pre-conceived ideas, or notions of what you have to do. I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna bum-rush the altar, or pick your nose just before shaking hands, so you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about doing something “wrong” – Catholics are Christians, they’ll forgive you.

 

[love4mary]

Because all parishes teach the Same doctrine (least they better), read how a Mass is to be celebrated. Check out many parishes in your area and notice if they “dance” at the Altar (in that case–RUN away from there fast) and things such as this.

In my case, it was a matter of location as the parish I attend is simply closer to home for me. Also there is a large number of children which is important to me being a mom of two boys.

The most important way of choosing a parish?,.,PRAY!!! Ask God which parish you should be attending and join their RICA program there.

Oh and,Welcome Home:thumbsup:

 

[Lovemyfaith]

masstimes.org/dotnet/Default.aspx

This site will allow you to look up local parishes by zip code. Since most parishes have defined boundaries, any local parish will tell you what parish you are technically in. You could attend a few Masses at that parish and see if it seems a good fit by observing, reading the bulletin, etc. Once you are comfortable, speak to one of the priests about your situation.
In my diocese, there are a lot of reasons people don’t attend what is technically their local parish, such as ethnicity, where they grew up, where their parents live, etc, so it wouldn’t be unusual for a person to not be a member of their local parish, but your local parish is still a good place to start. Of course most important is at any catholic church, ALL ARE WELCOME, so please, don’t hesitate to start your search and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[vagranted]

I wouldn’t worry about making mistakes. I’m in RCIA right now, and I went to two other parishes before choosing the one I’m in.

I do have a question, do you know any Catholics that live nearby? The reason why I am asking is because even if you don’t end up attending their parish, you could sit next to them a couple of masses, and they’ll give you little hints on the “Catholic Calisthenics.”

If you do go by yourself, and you’ve only read what to do in mass, go to a daily mass and sit in the back. During daily masses, there are far less people, and since you can’t take communion, you won’t hold up the line if you choose to kneel at your pew while others go up. If you don’t feel comfortable going up to get a blessing from the priest during communion time, don’t worry. It took me two years to get the guts to do that.

But, a good thing about daily mass is that afterwards, you can introduce yourself to the priest and talk to him. Sundays, they’re a little more impersonal because of all the other people who want to say hi.

 

[sphilomena]

It’s all good advice so far. Sit in the last pew at a daily Mass, try churches near you, and pray. Ask the Lord to show you where He wants you. We moved a while back after over 20 years in the same parish. I tried 2 churches and I KNOW for sure which one is where I belong. God bless you!
(Of course read about what to expect, and as someone said previously, run fast from liturgical abuses and Father Jokester Laughs-a-lot!)

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

Just go through them once per weekend and go with the flow at each church. You will know which ones feel comfortable and which ones do not. It also is a good idea to go through their bulletins each week.

One way to possibly speed it up is to drive around to each parish and get a copy of their bulletin, it is usually somewhere that can easily be picked up. It gives you some idea, but in the end attending tells you what you need to know.

 

[Archerette74]

I would look in the phone book for any catholic churches in your area and then start calling to ask about their RCIA programs. They might be listed under Roman Catholic or just Catholic. I have even seen one listed under Christian before.

Go and talk to the person in charge of RCIA at the churches that are in your area, and then go with the church that had the RCIA director you felt most comfortable with. Ask them if they would mind if you sat with them at mass, and they will probably be happy to have you there, and might be able to walk you through the mass and introduce you to others in the parish who you might be able to become friends with.

Since it is summer, and RCIA doesn’t start until the fall, getting to mass with somebody who teaches RCIA is a good way to start feeling comfortable right away in your new parish home.

 

[colettecop]

Lovemyfaith ~ wow, that is a really helpful link, I didn’t know there were THAT many Catholic churches around here. Thank you for your kind words and advice!

vagranted ~ that is good to hear, thanks for sharing your experience – it just might take me two years to get the guts to go up for a blessing too! Sadly, I don’t know any Catholics, or if I do they sure aren’t practicing. Kind of strange considering how many Mormons, Protestants, and Muslims I’ve met!

sphilomena ~ excellent advice, thank you kindly! In all my anxiousness I should remember to ask the Lord where he wants me to go.

NewUlm1976_2000 ~ I hadn’t even thought of picking up bulletins, and that is just the sort of thing I would forget. Thanks for replying!

Archerette74 ~ that is a good idea, since I’d imagine I’ll be getting to know my chosen RCIA instructor well! And maybe I’ll get lucky and find someone to sit next to. I’m really shy but it would be nice to be able to talk to at least one other person at first.

I really appreciate you guys’ advice, there are a lot of great suggestions that really just didn’t occur to me.

 

[Lovemyfaith]

Sadly, I don’t know any Catholics, or if I do they sure aren’t practicing. Kind of strange considering how many Mormons, Protestants, and Muslims I’ve met!

Sure you do- you know all of us! I have to say the people on these message boards have given me so much insight into the catholic faith. Reading through different posts and listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio has helped me so many times in the past through years with questions that I had.
Also, I have been in my parish for over 10 years and I met some of my best friends there, really great people. In fact when our family had a chance to move, I just could not see leaving my parish which honestly feels like my home.

 

[Semper_Fi_1]

Hi there, and thanks for clicking.

I’m not Catholic, but after a lot of thought and soul searching I really feel that the Catholic Church is the right one. But I’ve never set foot in a Catholic church (parish?) in my life! I’m a Protestant and went to church as a child, but I get the idea that Catholic church is much different.

I know I can read about the basics of church ettiquitte in a book, but I would really apreciate it if you guys could share with me some of the things that may vary from church to church, and why/if they matter. There are several Catholic churches in my area, and I don’t know how I should choose which one to go to! My first thought is to just pick the one with the friendliest people – but if I was picking a church that way, then I would have just gone to church with one of the many nice Mormons I’ve known.

Any advice or expriences you have to share would be very appreciated. I want to take the first step and visit the churches in my area, but I am so nervous. I’m a very shy person and I don’t want to make a spectacle/nuisance of myself by doing something wrong.

Hi, if you’re a Protestant, you’ll most likely be joining a Western (Roman) Rite Catholic Church. You’re in California, so you could head over to your (arch)diocese website and look for a parish nearby. Or, you could talk to your friends or coworkers and find out where they go. You could also visit www.masstimes.org to view any local parishes near you.

And being nervous is a good thing, it means you’re on a path to something worthwhile!

Also, RCIA classes will be starting soon so you should find a parish that offers RCIA to begin the process of becoming a catechumen (one who is to be prepared for entering the Church at Easter Vigil next year).

These formation classes will get you familiar with the 7 Sacraments of the Catholic Church and prepare you for your new Christian life.

 

[mary_bobo]

Just go through them once per weekend and go with the flow at each church. You will know which ones feel comfortable and which ones do not. It also is a good idea to go through their bulletins each week.

One way to possibly speed it up is to drive around to each parish and get a copy of their bulletin, it is usually somewhere that can easily be picked up. It gives you some idea, but in the end attending tells you what you need to know.

Getting a bulletin is a good idea. Many parishes publish their weekly bulletin on their website. Also, on a website you might be able to touch base with someone in the parish who would meet you at a Mass and walk you thru. It never hurts to try.

 

[Lucania]

Colettecop, if you want, you could tell what town you are in or near. There are alot of people from Ca. here or who have lived there before who could probably suggest a good parish to attend! I like the idea of going to Daily Mass & having a talk with the Priest afterward. God Bless.

 

[vagranted]

Getting a bulletin is a good idea. Many parishes publish their weekly bulletin on their website. Also, on a website you might be able to touch base with someone in the parish who would meet you at a Mass and walk you thru. It never hurts to try.

The website that some Catholic parishes use (at least on my side of the US) is Catholic Web. In the left hand side, you can click on “Find a Church,” then click on your state, and it lists the cities. Once you find a city, it’ll list the churches, and if there is a globe next to it, that’s the link to their website. Underneath all the mass time information (which may or may not be right, so don’t depend on that), there may be direct links to their bulletins online.

I hope you can find a parish that you can call home soon!