How to combat gossip

  • Thread starter Thread starter K-McD
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

K-McD

Guest
I’m looking for advice on how to battle gossip. The easiest method is to avoid “those” people but the culprits are family members. Can’t really avoid them. And the victim is one of our own, (my sister).

How do I combat gossip?
 
When the gossip fest starts, excuse yourself to use the bathroom, or suddenly remember some task that has to be accomplished right then. Alternatively, you could put your hands over your ears and say, as humorously as possible, “Too Much Information!” Or you could be direct about your objection, saying something like, “Why do you think I need to know that?”

They get the idea pretty quickly.
 
I have this problem. (I’m in high school, what would you expect?)

I just tell people if they have something to say about someone they should say it to their face. Oftentimes they will write a letter describing their issue and it will start a discussion on how to solve the underlying problem. That or they just shut up. 🤷

Not ideal, but I hope it helps.

(And if the gossip doesn’t involve the gossiper, then why does it matter? Seriously, ask them.)
 
Some thoughts: by not repeating it (minimize the life of a piece of gossip), by changing the subject, by saying “Why do you say that?,” and/or by confronting the gossip gently and directly.

I had a similar problem once, and my confessor advised me to confront the gossip and say, “Why did you tell so-and-so what I told you? Now I feel that I can’t trust you and share things.”

I would strongly recommend giving them copies of The Hidden Power of Kindness if you can, by Lawrence Lovasik. Gossip is addressed throughout, among many other aspects of daily life.
 
K-McD said:
I’m looking for advice on how to battle gossip.
Click to expand...
Mostly you can’t. You can walk away when it starts. Pray for those committing this sin, and it’s a way worse one, I think, than most believe. You can repeat all you hear and who said it to the person gossiped about, best would be in the hearing of the person gossiping, loudly.

You can confront but … I find silence, avoidance and light work best. But it’s just evil and awful and mostly we pray… people who gossip have very small spirits, IMO. Gossip lives in the dark.
 
I do a little gossiping. And a whole
of listening. I know that’s just as bad…
:rolleyes:
 
I have done various things. If they are speaking to me, I prefer to change to subject to some matter of interest. I think it is a matter of judgement what you should do in a particular case. If you think the person would listen, I would speak to them about it at another time, since speaking at another time could be far less confronatational. You may sometimes simply have to suffer in silence. Of course it would be bad to avoid family members. Perhaps sometimes it would help to pray the whole time when they are gossiping together.
 
In that case, you can just ask them to not talk about your sister. Someone was recently gossiping to me about my grandmother. I just said, “Uh, this is my GRANDMOTHER you’re talking about,” with a disgusted look on my face. They immediately stopped and never said another bad thing about her to me. In other cases, I have a few lines I stick to:

“I don’t need to know this.”
“So-and-so doesn’t bother me.”

However, I have noticed that when people know you don’t like gossip, they often have nothing to say to you.
 
The problem is there a few family members who engage in this sort of behavior and it is destroying the family. The one receiving all the bad talk is considering walking away from the family because she feels she is not wanted. I can’t defend the family anymore and she is tired of all the misunderstandings, prejudgments, and down right slander. I can say stop talking to me, but that won’t stop them from talking to each other. Gossip is truly the 8th Cardinal Sin.
 
Ah, family troubles! The horror stories I could tell…but you can only do so much. I know, I have had trouble with this fact. People will and do do stupid things, gossip among them. Just make your stance clear, and support as you see fit.
God save us from families who attack members. 🤷
 
I love the Jewish culture’s revulsion towards gossip. I make a practice of not watching “personal” stuff on television and telling any fellow viewers the channel is getting changed because people’s personal business is none of my business. Or I leave the room and explain why. I agree one has to urge people to tell it to the party involved, not me.

Sadly, this afternoon, somebody started to unleash unremitting gossip and I asked them to stop and told them I’m not any better than the next person; but the message wasn’t getting through and I turned up the volume and trumpeted “The gossip stops NOW!” People just don’t realize gossip is exposing that person’s unseemly character, and a tendency to stab any back that’s handy. Don’t people realize their listerners must come away thinking the same poison is being served by the gossip to others about them?

May the Most High grant us the discipline to mind our own business, and refrain from all gossip in all contexts especially when served up as “entertainment” and grant us the bravery to say what we need to say in the moment, and to keep our peace when we should. AMEN
 
I simply say, “if you can’t say anything nice about a person, don’t say anything at all”!

"Not to oppose error is to approve it; and not to defend
truth is to suppress it."
 
AnnaRose said:
I simply say, “if you can’t say anything nice about a person, don’t say anything at all”!

"Not to oppose error is to approve it; and not to defend
truth is to suppress it."
Click to expand...
If only people practiced this…:rolleyes:
 
AnnaRose said:
I simply say, “if you can’t say anything nice about a person, don’t say anything at all”!

"Not to oppose error is to approve it; and not to defend
truth is to suppress it."
Click to expand...
Is that your quote? I agree with it but when I bring this up to my family the message is let it go. “It’s just bad talk, it’ll go away and eventually everyone will be back to loving each other.” My response is at what cost?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top