How to come back to the Church

[swanson]

I am a cradle catholic who was not well-formed. I was married last year to a divorced man who is not catholic by a minister. Subsequent to marriage, I began attending church and exploring my faith and the beliefs of the Catholic church. In the last few months, I have learned more about the faith than I ever did being raised by catholic parents and attending CCD. I have been attending church weekly, but not taking communion. I realize that I need to go to reconciliation (a scary thing after after twenty years). My husband and I have had limited conversations about the possibility of an annulment but I need to obtain more information to answer his questions. He was baptized Lutheran but was not well formed in his religion either. He supports me in my exploration of my faith and is willing to raise our children catholic but is not yet certain he wants to convert. I look at that as God works in mysterious ways. My concern is not that he immediately convert, but is willing to raise our children in the faith and participate in their formation. I look at his conversion as something to work on with love and patience over time.

Has anyone been through this?? I am excited about my “journey home” and the growth of my faith, however, I am also fearful about the consequences to my marriage. Is an anulment a possibility? If not, what happens next?

 

[JimG]

I think you should explore the possibility of an annulment of your husband’s first marriage. The first step would be to talk to your parish priest, who could further advise you. Hope this all works out well for you.

JimG

 

[iguana27]

Even though you were baptized Catholic, you would benefit greatly from RCIA. You can be renewed with the Spirit at the Easter Vigil if you have already been confirmed. Your husband would also benefit from a good RCIA program.

Look for one that meets at least weekly and preferably one that has a mystagogical (after Easter) session as well.

Often the person who runs RCIA can get you in touch with the appropriate people to help with the anulment process. It is a great place to learn more about your faith and you may meet someone who is struggling with the same issues you and your husband are.

 

[diaconate]

I know that it is a scary feeling going to confession after twenty years, it was for me! The feeling that you get afterwards is undescribeable. I was floating on air! A bag of bricks were taken off me. Also it would be a good chance to talk to the preist about the questions that you have.

Glory be to Jesus Christ! Glory forever!

 

[St_Veronica]

swanson:

I am a cradle catholic who was not well-formed. I was married last year to a divorced man who is not catholic by a minister. Subsequent to marriage, I began attending church and exploring my faith and the beliefs of the Catholic church. In the last few months, I have learned more about the faith than I ever did being raised by catholic parents and attending CCD. I have been attending church weekly, but not taking communion. I realize that I need to go to reconciliation (a scary thing after after twenty years). My husband and I have had limited conversations about the possibility of an annulment but I need to obtain more information to answer his questions. He was baptized Lutheran but was not well formed in his religion either. He supports me in my exploration of my faith and is willing to raise our children catholic but is not yet certain he wants to convert. I look at that as God works in mysterious ways. My concern is not that he immediately convert, but is willing to raise our children in the faith and participate in their formation. I look at his conversion as something to work on with love and patience over time.

Has anyone been through this?? I am excited about my “journey home” and the growth of my faith, however, I am also fearful about the consequences to my marriage. Is an anulment a possibility? If not, what happens next?

Your husband must get his previous marriage annuled if you want to be able to receive the Sacraments. Both of you need to go sit down and talk to a local priest. Your husband will need to fill out forms etc so his marriage can be looked at to determine if there can be an annulment.

Keep in mind the Church cannot ‘undo’ a valid marriage…the Church can determine if the marriage was ever valid to begin with or not.

SV

 

[thegrandmother]

Not knowing your ages, (we are not young ) etc. this may not be an option for you, but I too found myself in an irregular marriage, and returning to the Church. Similarily my husband was previously married, and although not opposed to my drawing closer to the Church, he remains afar, and un-annulled of his former spouse. In the midst of my turmoil, the physical answer to my need appeared. To put it delicately, he cannot take viagra due to his heart…We are living as brother and sister.

After consulting with three priests , I have been assured that the ‘brother-sister’ rule allows me to exist in communion with the church. However, to prevent scandle, and confusion between right and wrong for the gossiping few, I choose not to hold myself up as a symbol of virtue, and do not appear as a eucharistic minister, lector, r.e. teacher, etc… small price to pay when there are plenty of behind the scenes oportunities to share.

Like, I said, without knowing your ages, the brother sister thing may be an impossibility, but it is a valid option.

In either case, Welcome Home!