How to confess masturbation without it being awkward?

[Credo_in_Deum]

Too bad it can’t be like the mob.

U: “Fr. I did the thing”
F: “You mean the thing, thing?”
U: "Yeah, the thing thing.
F: “forgetaboutit”

 

[dshix]

Thank you to all of you who replied. I have set up a confession appt. for tomorrow and I’m prepared to confess ALL of my sins. Once again thank you and god bless.

You know, you don’t have to set up and appointment if you want to remain anonymous. Just go to confession on a regular day and confess behind the screen.

 

[m134e5]

Ok, so you may have seen my last thread on how I want to stop masturbating. I’ve decided to do as several of my replies said: go to confession. I have a problem though. How do I confess masturbation to a priest without feeling awkward? I know masturbation in itself is unnatural, but you don’t usually talk about it. I know if I withhold it during confession it’ll just make things worse. My plan is not to make things worse. I just can’t get myself to say it. Do I have to say exactly what it is, or is there something I can say to the priest that doesn’t involve saying masturbation? I want to end this sin and confess it before I marry my girlfriend. I don’t want this with me when I’m standing in front of the altar with her, and I don’t want this to affect my marriage to her.

I assure you priests have heard that one many times. I know it’s not the thing you usually talk about, but there are many things people usually don’t talk about that NEED to be talked about in confession. Approach the Sacrament with humility- that is, by presenting yourself to your confessor as you are. Shame is the work of the devil. Confession is such a valuable gift, and one that many people either don’t have or don’t know that they could have. Remember that God’s love and mercy are stronger than shame. Please, don’t ever be too ashamed to accept what is offered to you through the Sacraments.

 

[flowerfresh]

Hi. A priest I heard suggested to call it “self-soothing.”

:blushing: :blushing: :blushing: :getholy:

 

[JimG]

Hi. A priest I heard suggested to call it “self-soothing.”

:blushing: :blushing: :blushing: :getholy:

Now, that’s funny! I think a lot of priests might be befuddled by that!

I think using the correct word is simpler. It’s only awkward if you’re confessing at the dinner table rather than in the confessional.

 

[FreakyLocz14]

Be honest with your confessor. I too was nervous about how to go about confessing personal/embarrassing sins, vut the priest was very understanding and welcoming. I don’t feel embarrassed to tell him the full truth at all anymore. Besides, it’s much better to suffer some temporary embarrassment in this life than possibly eternal embarrassment in the next life.

 

[TK421]

Why should you think that it ought not to be awkward? Go, confess, and feel awkward. Postmodern culture is infatuated with euphemisms. Don’t put yourself through linguistic acrobatics when the person is going to perfectly understand the hidden message of what you’re saying anyway. Just say the ‘M’ word, with an assertive tone. It will feel better.

 

[Pa_Newman]

As others have stated the priest has heard it all before.Along w/any other sins you need to confess you can say and I have committed the sin of masturbation or I have committed sexual sin that has only involved myself.To make it easier confess to a priest that you feel comfortable with.Believe me he will not look down on you or sit in judgement.He is there to help you.When in doubt ask the Blessed Mother to help you make a good confession or St. Joseph or any other saint you feel close to.They are more than willing to help.Take care and God bless you!

 

[LeafByNiggle]

Why should you think that it ought not to be awkward? Go, confess, and feel awkward. Postmodern culture is infatuated with euphemisms. Don’t put yourself through linguistic acrobatics when the person is going to perfectly understand the hidden message of what you’re saying anyway. Just say the ‘M’ word, with an assertive tone. It will feel better.

I agree. You should feel awkward. Not only when confessing masturbation, but every other sin too. If you are too comfortable admitting that you have sinned, then maybe you don’t really detest that sin, or don’t think it is so bad. No, the awkwardness that we feel when confessing sins shows that we have exactly the right attitude toward sins. Embrace that attitude. Don’t try to avoid it.

 

[clem456]

As others have said an experienced priest has heard this literally hundreds (thousands) of times.

Lust isolates us by lying to us, whispering to us that our sin is unspeakable and unforgiveable. Don’t buy the lie. Confession liberates you from the sin and the lie.

 

[Captain_America]

OP: some points might be useful

1-----this kind of confession is HELPFULLY awkward. I helps you stop doing it because you hate having to confess it!

I think this is one of the valuable things about confession. It’s very humbling to speak your sins, even to a person in persona Christi. You get to hear them; he gets to hear them, you both call the Devil the Devil.

. . . would you do this if you were not Catholic, and just talking to a Helpful Friend? or to a Professional Psychologist?

Probably not. This is where reality hits you.

2—One other valuable point: once it’s confessed, don’t think about it anymore. Let it go. Doing this makes any sin less “calling” to you in the future.

3—Rejoice in God’s love for you. Rejoice in his faithfulness.

4—take seriously the concept of “occasions of sin”. You’re smart. You know what contexts/situations are prior to the commission of the sin.

Now go in there!

 

[LongingSoul]

When I was at Catholic High School (many moons ago), we used to have a question box that people could put anonymous questions in and then occasionally a Priest would come by to take religion lesson and attempt to answer the questions for the class. He suggested using the words “I have sinned against holy purity”. If the Priest is so inclined to offer practical and spiritual advice he might ask “alone or with someone else”, but generally Priests understand the meaning of these words without qualifications.

 

[LongingSoul]

This is a really solid article on the subject that addresses the value of holy purity from the physical, psychological and spiritual angles at once. It is very good to read and save for later reading.

purityispossible.com/index.php/growing-in-holy-purity

 

[hu324b]

When I go to confession I confess to Christ not the priest.The priest is a witness to my confession who can offer me absolution and spiritual advice.I would never confess to a catholic brother - why? - they would not be bound to keep my confession private I would be an idiot to do so.

 

[willie_duggan]

Confession should be an exercise in humility.

An acknowledgement of sin is an exercise in humility.
It is a good sign to feel humility because it shows that your conscience is troubled by what you have done.

On a different level, the priest hearing your confession has heard every type of sin confessed to him.
The priest is a man of God and God forgives each sincere penitent.

The OP is a sincere penitent.

 

[Cojuanco]

Ok, so you may have seen my last thread on how I want to stop masturbating. I’ve decided to do as several of my replies said: go to confession. I have a problem though. How do I confess masturbation to a priest without feeling awkward? I know masturbation in itself is unnatural, but you don’t usually talk about it. I know if I withhold it during confession it’ll just make things worse. My plan is not to make things worse. I just can’t get myself to say it. Do I have to say exactly what it is, or is there something I can say to the priest that doesn’t involve saying masturbation? I want to end this sin and confess it before I marry my girlfriend. I don’t want this with me when I’m standing in front of the altar with her, and I don’t want this to affect my marriage to her.

I would use the euphemism, “self-abuse”. Most every priest will know what you mean. If he asks for clarification, just tell him.

 

[ccmcmg]

I believe I heard in a tape by Father Larry Richards that either he, or another priest, had advised his congregation to confess that they were ‘patriotic’ with themselves. Another priest heard these confessions one week, and was ‘quite impressed’ by how loyal to the country the congregation was!

“Impure with myself” has been the one I’ve heard recommended most often.

God bless you for going to confession.

 

[drafdog]

Your principal error is in making the sacrament to be about you. Confession is not about you; it is about God. You are there to apologize to the one whom you hurt. It’s an exercise in humility. If you cannot humble yourself, then you should consider how serious a problem your pride has become.
Tell the priest that you have sinned against the … commandment and that you are having trouble admitting the act. Ask him for help. He’s heard it all before… including the one about committing suicide… twice.

Reb Levi

 

[janeway529]

A Redemptorist priest once gave some hilarious advice to help encourage those who were embarrassed and fearful for these kinds of sins. He said that even if you say it extremely fast to the priest, it will still be forgiven. Point being, you should not be afraid to say it.

 

[Cojuanco]

I believe I heard in a tape by Father Larry Richards that either he, or another priest, had advised his congregation to confess that they were ‘patriotic’ with themselves. Another priest heard these confessions one week, and was ‘quite impressed’ by how loyal to the country the congregation was!

“Impure with myself” has been the one I’ve heard recommended most often.

God bless you for going to confession.

Like I said, “impure with myself,” “self abuse”, “sinned against purity by myself”, the priests have heard every euphemism for masturbation, so they know what you mean.