How to cope with critical, arguing parents?

[Writer_for_God]

Hi,
I live with my parents. If I could I would move out on my own, but I think one of the vocations God has for me is to help my family, especially my Mom and Dad, particularly as they age. They have mobility issues, and I help them with a lot of housework and other things around the house and buying stuff from the store etc.

The problem is they criticize and argue with each other a lot, and it scares me sometimes. I have decided that from now on, if they start arguing or criticizing each other, I am going to go out for a walk or a drive and not come back until they stop. I do have a therapist who I am going to talk to about this, but I would appreciate any prayers, as well as possible recommendations for books or resources that help learn how to cope with family conflict. If you have any suggestions, those are welcome too. Mostly I would like prayer for my parents, that they stop being so critical of each other. Sometimes they complain about every little thing. And if it isn’t what they do or say, they complain about how they do or say it. So it is like neither of them can win with each other. They always find something to be mad about each other for. And it just escalates with every little infraction or perceives imperfection they notice. And I can’t take it anymore.

Please pray, any book recommendations or advice are good. Please pray for my Mom and Dad, and also my therapist, that she may be helpful when I discuss this with her.

God bless you all. Amen.

 

[MaryT777]

Praying for strength to cope with your parents and their arguing and for peace between them. Praying for your parents for the ability to be able to relate to each other without some of the issues you note and praying for your therapist that she may be Guided by God as she helps your sort out these issues.

God bless you as well.

 

[Casilda]

You have just described my parents, lol. I was a little proactive, becoming a nurse’s aide and working in nursing homes and assisted living facilities for years, for the experience of dealing with the aging.

You are very brave for trying to live with them. I am married and have kids. When my parents sold their home to move in with us it did not go well. It’s best to have separate living arrangements but ideally close so daily visits are easy.

Medications, failing health and mental impairments contribute to short tempers. They need healthy distractions. A senior community with activities they can be a part of together or separately is ideal.

Love them, hug them, care for them, be patient. Always remember their greatest achievement, you!

 

[Bluebright]

God bless you and them. I do think you are right and time away from the arguing is a good thing with a walk or a drive.
Is there any chance you can live nearby and visit for your caring? Especially while they are (if they are) still able to do some caring for themselves. Or would you be able to live out even one night a week or something for a rest. I am just thinking that’s a lot to take on. You don’t say how old you are or what other work or situations you have but you do need some ‘break’ from this sort of stress. Speak to your therapist about this too. Of course pray yourself and follow the vocation God has set aside for you.
In a positive light, this sort of behaviour in couples is sometimes with great love even if it seems to be full of bitterness.
I can’t think of any specific books to read but all of the Saints coped with various stresses and strains in their lives so why not google saints and see which one/s the Holy Spirit points out to you. St Rita was in a difficult marriage but had much patience so that may help you understand your parents difficult marriage, she may be a good saint to pray too on their behalf. When you go out on your drive, could you find a church that has adoration on? I find adoration of the Blessed Sacred the most wonderful place to spill all my problems out and the best place for answers, especially on vocations but also all troubles. Nothing gives me more peace than a visit with Jesus. God bless you and good luck.

 

[Irishmom2]

Yes, they need healthy distractions and maybe even a bit of alone time. Maybe they have too much togetherness and that is why they are always at each other’s throats.

It sounds like a little alone time, all around might be a good thing.

 

[Francis]

Hi, Why don’t you try to keep them busy like have a scheduled cut out for them ,like set of prayers Rosary, Spiritual books like, Life of saint,Catechism of the Catholic Church,Bible reading .also at times some physical exercise with priorities, are you staying close by any religious Catholic congregation ,do they visit you?if not, you can ask them to visit your parents and give them advice,or else take your parent to some of the convents, if you have the time and doesn’t hinder your routine.

If they know the value of time and that God one day would judgement ,books on purgatory will be very helpful so they will know the importance of Prayers and not to judge and criticize each other or even others. Another way is to show they some spiritual videos, like Mother Angelica will surely help God Bless

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