i am sorry for judging and it seems i do this often and condemn certain people, i know i am no one to judge… but what about scripture that says alcholics will not enter heaven?
maybe im not certain about the stance on alcohol and therefor ignorant here, i dont know if its permissible or not, i have been reading alot lately that its probably forbidden, but it would relieve me to not judge as hard as i am, i am just worried for him thats all
I think you mean this one: “
Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God”.
1 Cor. 6:9-10
Remember that a decision to sin must be made with a free (although not *totally *unmitigated) exercise of the will in order to be mortal. If a man becomes an alcoholic more by gradual unwitting enslavement than by an act of will, or if he repents of the willful decisions by which he got himself into that position but then falls again into bouts with drunkenness because his self-control is mitigated by not having the illness of addiction under control, then this is not the same as positively choosing a life of regular drunken flings, knowing that this is forbidden by God…which is what St. Paul was referring to.
You are being tempted down the slippery path of co-dependence…I can tell because you said “
I feel so much pressure on me to save him and I will feel guilty if I am responsibl for not doing so”. The first thing to get through your head is that you are not a Savior. Christ is The Savior. You are his servant, you are his instrument, but you have no control over your dad or your dad’s eternal destiny…None. Let that sink in: None. You have your part to do as far as living out your love of God and neighbor, your dad has his, but the salvation of your dad will be accomplished by Christ, by the work of the Holy Spirit, with the cooperation of your dad. By the economy of grace, the service you render God as a part of cooperating with your own salvation may be a help to your dad, but this is all in the hands of God and subject to the free will of your dad.
I would suggest you read Melody Beattie’s Book “Co-dependent No More”. It is out in a new edition; most libraries have it. She describes very well the thinking by which people become unhealthy themselves by not knowing how to deal with the chaos introduced into their relationships by alcoholics and other kinds of addicts. She has some useful strategies. She found Al-Anon very useful herself, but her advice does not hinge on going to meetings. It is the useful stuff that she learned by being in recovery from both her own addiction and from desparately trying to be the outside control over *someone else *with an addiction.
She loves the Serenity Prayer in its entirety, so I will paste it here on this forum again:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
See? Nothing about being a savior in there. It’s all service, with the results left up to God. Were I you, I’d consider trying some Al-Anon meetings, to see if one near you might help you put the supports in place you’ll need to get through this. If it doesn’t help, well, you tried. You might try another group; I’ve heard some are more helpful, others do a bit more on the end of wallowing in how difficult it all is, and so on. In any event, even if no particular group works out to be a good support for you, you’ll probably learn some stuff there that you can use on your own, too, and hear some stories that tell you you’re not alone. After that, well, just watch and see what helps and what doesn’t.
