How to deal with an incredibly annoying dad

[Holly3278]

Hi everyone. I have a dad who is incredibly annoying. I am 27 years old and I live by myself. Well, he is always coming over to make sure that I have kept my apartment clean. It gets really annoying though cause I usually do keep it clean and yet he still gripes because it’s not perfect enough for him. What can I do about this?

 

[missyfatcat]

Is he paying for the apartment or are you paying for it?

Politely remind him that you are an adult and that this is your apartment to keep as you see fit.

Try to tackle this now, otherwise, there may be other things in your life that he will try to control.

 

[kage_ar]

Does he pay to support you? If he does, then he gets a say in how the things he pays for are cared for. Obedience to parents is required by the Catechism until you are supporting yourself.

 

[SMHW]

Hi everyone. I have a dad who is incredibly annoying. I am 27 years old and I live by myself. Well, he is always coming over to make sure that I have kept my apartment clean. It gets really annoying though cause I usually do keep it clean and yet he still gripes because it’s not perfect enough for him. What can I do about this?

Holly, as others have said, if your father is helping support you then he does have some say. If not, then maybe you need to find ways to be less available so your father can’t come over so often.

…and I need to say this as charitably as possible…

I have read your posts about how you have struggled with mental illness. Is is possible that your father also suffers from mental illness? If so, then this may be a manifestation of it.

Whatever your father’s reasons (rational or irrational) for behaving this way, there is probably very little you can do to change him. But you can change your expectations of him.

 

[Sina]

I can see how that is incredibly annoying since you are 27 years old.

My brother has a mental illness, and his apartment is paid for by the government because he is on disability. When we do come over, I check to see what state it is in, as I sometimes interpret that as a sign for how well he is doing. Maybe your dad does the same? But is much more obvious about it.

I am glad you at least have support from your dad, but maybe you should tell him in the most polite way possible that it bothers you that he nags you about your apartment being clean. Or maybe just ignore it…

Your dad loves you

 

[CB_Catholic]

Hi everyone. I have a dad who is incredibly annoying. I am 27 years old and I live by myself. Well, he is always coming over to make sure that I have kept my apartment clean. It gets really annoying though cause I usually do keep it clean and yet he still gripes because it’s not perfect enough for him. What can I do about this?

Holly, I can understand at your age how this can annoy you, been there. But I had an incredibly annoying mother-in-law once, and now I wish she were alive to annoy me. Enjoy your Dad while he is still around to annoy you, and try to ignore the gripes.

And try to remember that someday you just might be seen as an incredibly annoying mother by a 27-year old offspring (Been there, too.)

 

[Ferds_Guiang]

Yeah Dads can be annoying sometimes. I guess you will have to stretch your patience and be a little bit more understanding. That may not be a popular move but I’m sure it would help.

 

[MissRose73]

If he pays the bills or some of them for the place, then yes you got to put up with the visits and “inspections”.

If he pays none of the bills and rent, then putting your foot down gently and firmly, and say Dad I love and respect you, and love it when you visit me but please don’t mention if I have a few things out of place.