How to deal with distractions, anxiety during prayer

[Laura_B]

Hi:
I am a cradle-Catholic married mom who works part-time and is often prone to anxiety, especially at busy times of year like this. Quite often when I try to pray (specifically during formal prayers like the Rosary), I will start well but then my worries get in the way, then I’ll find I’ve said whole decades or more without giving even a passing thought to the mystery. Sometimes I will try to start over but often the same thing happens or I will be in a situation where starting over is not possible because of my schedule that day. I know we are not to worry, that we are to trust God in all things but quite often it feels like I just cannot help myself – that I am physically unable to stop worrying. How should I handle the prayer situation? Thanks in advance.

 

[LilyM]

Hi:
I am a cradle-Catholic married mom who works part-time and is often prone to anxiety, especially at busy times of year like this. Quite often when I try to pray (specifically during formal prayers like the Rosary), I will start well but then my worries get in the way, then I’ll find I’ve said whole decades or more without giving even a passing thought to the mystery. Sometimes I will try to start over but often the same thing happens or I will be in a situation where starting over is not possible because of my schedule that day. I know we are not to worry, that we are to trust God in all things but quite often it feels like I just cannot help myself – that I am physically unable to stop worrying. How should I handle the prayer situation? Thanks in advance.

For starters - many of us have the same problem. It’s called being human! If you’ve got a lot on your plate some of it will make its presence felt during your prayer, and you will at least sometimes worry about some of it.

I wonder if it perhaps has to do with the time at which you pray the Rosary? If your worries about the upcoming day are what is distracting, you could try saying the Rosary at the end of the day instead. Say some other slightly less contemplative prayer during the day.

If this isn’t it, then there are a few other techniques. Set the time and place of your prayer apart from the rest of your day/house and make it special somehow. Burn a candle, play some soothing (non-vocal) music at a low volume in the background, pray in front of a holy picture, crucifix or statue and focus on it.

When distracting thoughts do come (and they will, they do for all of us) offer up the decade you’re praying for whatever concern it is you’re thinking about. Who knows, it may be your guardian angel giving you a nudge to pray for that person or intention.

Imagine those thoughts and concerns not as distractions, but as gifts you can lay at the feet of Jesus and Mary, since your concern springs from love and care. And think of each prayer as a flower you’re offering to them (that’s why it’s called the Rosary after all).

 

[maryrd]

HI Laura,
I use to have the same problem, but found that praying the rosary with Mother Angelica on ETWN T.V. helped me stay focused. I use to focus mostly on the prayers (Hail Mary…), but I found that I prayed better when I mainly focused on the mysteries. I know a few different publishers make CD’s etc. to help you say the rosary - you may want to try one of those.
Keep in mind I think “good prayer” is always a work in progress. We are all trying to achieve a better and more reverent prayer life.
God Bless, Mary

 

[Em_in_FL]

Hi:
I am a cradle-Catholic married mom who works part-time and is often prone to anxiety, especially at busy times of year like this. Quite often when I try to pray (specifically during formal prayers like the Rosary), I will start well but then my worries get in the way, then I’ll find I’ve said whole decades or more without giving even a passing thought to the mystery. Sometimes I will try to start over but often the same thing happens or I will be in a situation where starting over is not possible because of my schedule that day. I know we are not to worry, that we are to trust God in all things but quite often it feels like I just cannot help myself – that I am physically unable to stop worrying. How should I handle the prayer situation? Thanks in advance.

Maybe at those times you should try to focus on different types of prayer…
Check out the catechism for the general teachings of the different (specifically part 4: Christian Prayer) expressions of prayer…

Sometimes for some people… the repetitive nature of some formal prayers can be an obsticle…
Try just “talking” with God… share your anxieties with Him. Ask for His assistance in your everyday life. Contemplate His divinity and ask for his intervention… in a general “conversation”…

I’ve struggled with the formal prayers at times myself. Don’t let that struggle keep you from praying… just pray differently!

God bless!

 

[Em_in_FL]

More quotes from the catechism…

II. Humble Vigilance of Heart

Facing difficulties in prayer

2729
The habitual difficulty in prayer is distraction. It can affect words and their meaning in vocal prayer; it can concern, more profoundly, him to whom we are praying, in vocal prayer (liturgical or personal), meditation, and contemplative prayer. To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart: for a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to, and this humble awareness before the Lord should awaken our preferential love for him and lead us resolutely to offer him our heart to be purified. Therein lies the battle, the choice of which master to serve.l

2730
In positive terms, the battle against the possessive and dominating self requires vigilance, sobriety of heart. When Jesus insists on vigilance, he always relates it to himself, to his coming on the last day and every day: today. The bridegroom comes in the middle of the night; the light that must not be extinguished is that of faith: "‘Come,’ my heart says, ‘seek his face!’"17

2731
Another difficulty, especially for those who sincerely want to pray, is dryness. Dryness belongs to contemplative prayer when the heart is separated from God, with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, even spiritual ones. This is the moment of sheer faith clinging faithfully to Jesus in his agony and in his tomb. "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."18 If dryness is due to the lack of roots, because the word has fallen on rocky soil, the battle requires conversion.19

Facing temptations in prayer

2732
The most common yet most hidden temptation is our lack of faith. It expresses itself less by declared incredulity than by our actual preferences. When we begin to pray, a thousand labors or cares thought to be urgent vie for priority; once again, it is the moment of truth for the heart: what is its real love? Sometimes we turn to the Lord as a last resort, but do we really believe he is? Sometimes we enlist the Lord as an ally, but our heart remains presumptuous. In each case, our lack of faith reveals that we do not yet share in the disposition of a humble heart: "Apart from me, you can do nothing."20

2733
Another temptation, to which presumption opens the gate, is acedia. The spiritual writers understand by this a form of depression due to lax ascetical practice, decreasing vigilance, carelessness of heart. "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."21 The greater the height, the harder the fall. Painful as discouragement is, it is the reverse of presumption. The humble are not surprised by their distress; it leads them to trust more, to hold fast in constancy.

 

[CatholicSam]

When you’re praying and start to worry about things, write them down on a piece of paper. Then in the next available time you have, take care of the things that are on your mind so that they won’t interfere with your prayers again I noticed that the devil was putting all these worrying thoughts in my mind and I was getting very stressed out about things that didn’t bother me that much just a few hours earlier. Like “Oh no, I didn’t call the dentist, now who knows when I’ll be able to get an appointment!!! ” So the next morning I called the dentist and got that taken care of.

With things like family conflicts, I also try to remind myself that the devil is trying to get me away from praying by making me upset about family conflicts, etc. (things that you can’t “take care of” like the dentist). And I tell him “You’re not going to stop me from praying!” and try to make a real effort to immerse my thoughts in the prayers. By doing this I accomplish two things–I am able to pray, and by praying, I am not working myself up with worrying/being angry about certain people. In fact, afterwards I usually feel more peaceful. I think it’s great that you’ve recognized what’s going on with your worried distractions because now you can take action against it.

 

[wcknight]

I’ve heard that it is a good idea to pray our distractions. IF something is so worrisome or bothering us that we are distracted from our prayers, then it must be important enough to pray over it.

 

[Polish]

Dear Laura,

I agree with the other posters that it’s only human to be distracted in prayer. Our early church fathers have taught us to not give fuel to these distractions by dwelling on them. When you are praying and a worrisome thought comes to mind, gently dismiss it and turn your mind and heart back to being in the presence of Jesus. The more energy you give to the distractions or anxiety, the stronger they get.

I have found that closing your eyes and becoming aware that you are standing in front of Jesus who is gazing at your soul, in silence loving you and waiting for you to speak, will put you in the good frame of mind. This is what you need to draw yourself back to when you are distracted. Sometimes words need not be spoken at all, as you know in your heart and soul that this is the Almighty, the Creator of the whole universe, the Lover of Mankind, who has given His full attention to His beloved soul - You. It is a natural reaction for tears of joy and repentence to flow from your heart at this time. Do not worry because Jesus will comfort you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine.

 

[Laura_B]

Thanks to all who responded. These will help a great deal. I do have several rosary CDs that I do use. Thanks again. You are all in my prayers. Please keep me in yours.

 

[littleone]

Hi:
I am a cradle-Catholic married mom who works part-time and is often prone to anxiety, especially at busy times of year like this. Quite often when I try to pray (specifically during formal prayers like the Rosary), I will start well but then my worries get in the way, then I’ll find I’ve said whole decades or more without giving even a passing thought to the mystery. Sometimes I will try to start over but often the same thing happens or I will be in a situation where starting over is not possible because of my schedule that day. I know we are not to worry, that we are to trust God in all things but quite often it feels like I just cannot help myself – that I am physically unable to stop worrying. How should I handle the prayer situation? Thanks in advance.

Hi Laura B, I feel for you and ask if you don’t mind, if I could put a point to you would you mind, since there are two issues here as you would know. One overlaps the other possibly and if you are able to beat one the other would probably have less weight on you. I have been there if you would allow me to show you what I mean!
Littleone

 

[puzzleannie]

could not respond when I first read OP, I got distracted.

the distractions and anxiety ARE the prayer. in those times you simply discuss the situation with God. first you talk, then you listen. the rosary or other repetetive prayer that engages the senses on one level, and the mind on another level “works” because it is meditative and in and of itself reduces stress and “relaxes” the mind and prepares us to listen. I find it almost essential to pray the rosary walking because having my whole body in motion (and moving away from TV, computer, people, phone etc.) reduces distractions.

What usually happens when I am in a period of stress, anxiety, a problem weighing on my mind is that one of the mysteries seems to strike a chord as soon as I “announce” it and call to minds its scripture basis. So I spend the rest of the time meditating on that mystery, asking Mary to show me how this period in the life of herself and her son relates to my current situation.

One summer I meditate for 3 months on the Finding of the child Jesus in the temple, this was a time when my own daughter was “lost” and trying to find her way.

the essential part is to listen, and that requires doing whatever it takes to find some peace and quiet. DD says right now that is the bathroom. She reads her daily devotional there. The days she takes youngest to preschool and goes to her part-time job at a Catholic college, she goes in early to spend some time with the Blessed Sacrament in the chapel.

It is the listening and interior silence that are so difficult to achieve when we are under stress and anxious. At those times, simple keep talking to God about it, even out loud (you better be alone when you do this). then when you have talked yourself out, just sit or walk for a while without talking. breathe, cry if you have to, but take some rest. God ordinarily speaks in scripture, so read at least the day’s gospel, or scripture that relates to the formal prayer you are doing, rosary mystery, stations etc.

You will find especially if you read scripture (keep it short) right before bed God often speaks as we sleep. Not necessarily in dreams, although some people have that experience, but in that you wake up in the middle of the night with an urge to pray, or with a feeling that you “know” something you did not know before. Write it down.

If you wake up because of your worries and anxieties, pray some more. Tell Him about the situation just as if you were doing it with a girlfriend over a cup of tea. In fact, you can make yourself a cup of tea just for this purpose. I’m not kidding, it works. When you go back to sleep, imagine yourself putting the anxieties in a big bag or basket, and carrying it to the foot of the cross, and leaving it there. then picture yourself waiting with Jesus and comforting him. This puts your troubles in perspective and perfects your ability to trust in God. It is difficulty to trust in God, in Divine Providence, in the Divine Mercy, that is at the root of a lot of our anxiety.

 

[littleone]

Someone once told me that one thing Satan doesn’t want us to do is talk to God (pray) or general conversation. Satan will do anything to distract us.
I found at one time that the distractions were so severe that I started to tell that spirit or those spirits to give praise and glory to Jesus Christ who is the only way to the Father. I kept on and on and on this way and in the end I realized that the destructions had lost the power they used to have. Now I seem to have much more control over the situations.
That might work for you. The anxiety attacks could also be satans way of distracting you. What you could do is to tell Jesus that you forgive yourself (this is not a blame situation), for having these attacks and hand them over to be nailed to the cross.
This does work and is biblical I know I have done it for years and am now more free than I have ever been.
A response to forgiving and letting go of unwanted stresses for me is that on this Saturday I am after 15 years getting married. I could never have considered this years ago because of the stress.
God bless you
Littleone.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Hi:
I am a cradle-Catholic married mom who works part-time and is often prone to anxiety, especially at busy times of year like this. Quite often when I try to pray (specifically during formal prayers like the Rosary), I will start well but then my worries get in the way, then I’ll find I’ve said whole decades or more without giving even a passing thought to the mystery. Sometimes I will try to start over but often the same thing happens or I will be in a situation where starting over is not possible because of my schedule that day. I know we are not to worry, that we are to trust God in all things but quite often it feels like I just cannot help myself – that I am physically unable to stop worrying. How should I handle the prayer situation? Thanks in advance.

First off, don’t work at prayer. It’s not something that you have to get perfect or it doesn’t count. Be gentle in prayer. Prayer is an expression of your love for God. Love means giving, not forcing. When you become aware that your thoughs have gone off to other things, gently return to your prayer. Also, when your mind wanders off, it’s not always a bad thing. Often, it’s in those moments, in the depth of your being, that God speaks to you.

I would recommend another form of prayer for you, but it will set off a firestorm in here, but you can PM me and I’ll tell you.

Jim

 

[littleone]

First off, don’t work at prayer. It’s not something that you have to get perfect or it doesn’t count. Be gentle in prayer. Prayer is an expression of your love for God. Love means giving, not forcing. When you become aware that your thoughs have gone off to other things, gently return to your prayer. Also, when your mind wanders off, it’s not always a bad thing. Often, it’s in those moments, in the depth of your being, that God speaks to you.

I would recommend another form of prayer for you, but it will set off a firestorm in here, but you can PM me and I’ll tell you.

Jim

Hi Jim I would be very interested in hearing also if you don’t mind!

I found that when I prayed formally in say the rosery it was good while I needed that, however I now find that Jesus (regardles of my getting married) is still my first love. I have throwen away all my studies, books, music etc and find that while telling Jesus how I love Him I end up in tears. There is nothing I could ever say or do that would take the place of Jesus.

As we fall in love with a spouse even more greatly are we able to fall in love with Jesus, if we let go of our human thoughts, needs, desires, wants even to wanting position and possession. I believe that this falliing in love with Jesus to the folly (as St Therese wrote) works, bringing us so close that Jesus will do almost anything for us in our relationship with Him.

This is not unusual but one night at work I was singing a song to Jesus and Itold Him I love Him and that I need Him. I was not expecting this but as I finished I heard this voice telling me “I need you too”.
What I am saying is that as you know when we fall inlove with someone and treat them right they forget about our faults and will do anything for that person. Jesus will do the same.

God bless.