How to deal with my Alcoholic Husband

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AmandaJo

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My Husband is an alcoholic. That statement took me over 8 years to admit! Whew! We have three children together; 8 yr, 3 yr, and 2 yr. I didn’t fully believe he was an alcoholic until just this winter. I was in complete denial! He drinks 1 liter of brandy each night between 5-9pm, smokes 3 packs per day and is not a believer in organized religion. He is “normal” during the day until 5 hits, then he reserves himself to him and the bottle and that is it…no interruptions. He isn’t physically abusive, depending on the night verbal abuse can occur depending on what mood he is in. I do not want a divorce but what are my options to help our family out?
Thanks in advance, this is my first time asking anyone.
 
I would suggest you go to Al Anon. I’ve found that finding one affiliated with a church can be particularly helpful. I would also look for a program that helps children deal with the alcoholism of a parent – it has lifelong effects on them, and getting some attention early is beneficial.
 
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. First thing to realize is none of his drinking has anything to do with you or your children. By that I mean, you didn’t cause it, you don’t make it happen, you are not the reason he drinks. He may try to blame you & the children but that is his way of not owning his behavior.

Second, you can’t make him stop, you can’t change this, you can’t fix this for him. You can only change your reaction to his drinking. Only he can change his behavior.

Get some professional help on how to deal with an alcoholic spouse. Al-anon is fine if you find the right group, stay away from the pity-fest ones. I second @JulianN advise 100%.

Pray for your husband and family. Things can change but it does take work.
 
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I’d get some professional help. I’ll pray for your family.
 
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