M
Mummybee
Guest
Okay, I think maybe this is the right forum for this…
My family and I sometimes sit in the chapel in the back of our church for mass. It doubles as a cry room. Recently we entered, and observed only two elderly couples there before us (sometimes parishioners on oxygen or who have trouble moving for others to pass will sit there, so as not to disturb others). I noted that these people were deep in prayer, and kept an extra careful eye on my girls (ages 6 yrs and 19 months) so that they didn’t disturb these people. I also encourage them to be quiet, as there are no speakers in the chapel, and it’s difficult to hear mass.
After mass began, lots of people filed in, mostly adults with teenage kids or just latecomers. One family marched in proudly, plunked themselves right beside us, and proceeded to do everything but observe mass for the next hour. The teenage daughter beside me began putting on lip gloss, while her younger brother (about 12) repeatedly removed his shoe and shook the contents on to the floor of the chapel. The mother only admonished him once. There was no father present. Then the other teenage girls had an extended animated conversation in hoarse stage whispers with their brother and mother about what I couldn’t tell you, but it was unrelated to mass. At points it escalated to a disagreement. THen the teenage girl next to me proceeded to check her recent calls on her cell phone. All the while, my girls didn’t make a peep, and I struggled to keep my toddler in my arms so that she wouldn’t run amuck. Eventually she fell asleep. THen the teenage girl next to me began to send a lengthy text message and only stopped when her mother noticed after several paragraphs were composed. She put it away, only to take it back out again shortly to hit the send button. All the while, the mother sat with her arm on the back of the chair beside her, propping her head up casually, looking like she could barely be bothered to stay awake.
THis family was dressed appropriately for a picnic or a day at the amusement park. They had absolutely NO interest in Mass whatsovever, and served as a very serious challenge to my own focus, (and my temper) and that of my family. I very nearly spoke to them, but I’m glad I didn’t, because I think it would have been a distraction to the other parishioners in the chapel. My husband and I couldn’t stop wondering, “Why are you even HERE?”
I might add that the lector wore short shorts and a tank top and sneakers, which not only were inappropriate, but her big fat bubble butt was a prominent disgrace on the altar. I thought, 'You make the teenage altar servers wear cassocks, why can’t you throw one over this broad?" I’m sick to death of eucharistic ministers dressed for a bowling game or the beach, and of the parishioners barely being able to rummage a clean t-shirt, while they tote their kids along wearing the latest hoochie mama short shorts and sleezy tank tops. Of course they are a distraction to my 6 year old, who marvels at their ‘pretty’ clothes. I struggle to help her remember that those clothes are immodest and inappropriate.
I have considered writing our pastor several times (I won’t go in to the renegade usher who revels in sucking down every drop of precious blood he can find and then smacking his lips and delcaring he could finish another one, or the old lady who sat behind us and yelled at my toddler for singing along loudly with the Hosanna). Our pastor is new to our parish, only here barely over a year, and I know he has a lot of things to deal with. I’ve often wondered if he is just ‘waiting for the right time’. Out of respect for him, I’ve held off. We don’t go to our parish every week, because the mass schedule is kind of odd, (we go to the cathedral instead) so I often wonder if he has ‘addressed’ it a mass we didn’t attend there. I don’t want to offend him, but he really needs to speak up. This is a middle to upper-middle class suburban parish, so these people aren’t too poor to own proper church clothes, and the kids are well educated.
Sigh. I don’t know what to do. However, I think that problems with families (like the one I described) DO need to be addressed directly, but I don’t know how.
Any suggestions?
My family and I sometimes sit in the chapel in the back of our church for mass. It doubles as a cry room. Recently we entered, and observed only two elderly couples there before us (sometimes parishioners on oxygen or who have trouble moving for others to pass will sit there, so as not to disturb others). I noted that these people were deep in prayer, and kept an extra careful eye on my girls (ages 6 yrs and 19 months) so that they didn’t disturb these people. I also encourage them to be quiet, as there are no speakers in the chapel, and it’s difficult to hear mass.
After mass began, lots of people filed in, mostly adults with teenage kids or just latecomers. One family marched in proudly, plunked themselves right beside us, and proceeded to do everything but observe mass for the next hour. The teenage daughter beside me began putting on lip gloss, while her younger brother (about 12) repeatedly removed his shoe and shook the contents on to the floor of the chapel. The mother only admonished him once. There was no father present. Then the other teenage girls had an extended animated conversation in hoarse stage whispers with their brother and mother about what I couldn’t tell you, but it was unrelated to mass. At points it escalated to a disagreement. THen the teenage girl next to me proceeded to check her recent calls on her cell phone. All the while, my girls didn’t make a peep, and I struggled to keep my toddler in my arms so that she wouldn’t run amuck. Eventually she fell asleep. THen the teenage girl next to me began to send a lengthy text message and only stopped when her mother noticed after several paragraphs were composed. She put it away, only to take it back out again shortly to hit the send button. All the while, the mother sat with her arm on the back of the chair beside her, propping her head up casually, looking like she could barely be bothered to stay awake.
THis family was dressed appropriately for a picnic or a day at the amusement park. They had absolutely NO interest in Mass whatsovever, and served as a very serious challenge to my own focus, (and my temper) and that of my family. I very nearly spoke to them, but I’m glad I didn’t, because I think it would have been a distraction to the other parishioners in the chapel. My husband and I couldn’t stop wondering, “Why are you even HERE?”
I might add that the lector wore short shorts and a tank top and sneakers, which not only were inappropriate, but her big fat bubble butt was a prominent disgrace on the altar. I thought, 'You make the teenage altar servers wear cassocks, why can’t you throw one over this broad?" I’m sick to death of eucharistic ministers dressed for a bowling game or the beach, and of the parishioners barely being able to rummage a clean t-shirt, while they tote their kids along wearing the latest hoochie mama short shorts and sleezy tank tops. Of course they are a distraction to my 6 year old, who marvels at their ‘pretty’ clothes. I struggle to help her remember that those clothes are immodest and inappropriate.
I have considered writing our pastor several times (I won’t go in to the renegade usher who revels in sucking down every drop of precious blood he can find and then smacking his lips and delcaring he could finish another one, or the old lady who sat behind us and yelled at my toddler for singing along loudly with the Hosanna). Our pastor is new to our parish, only here barely over a year, and I know he has a lot of things to deal with. I’ve often wondered if he is just ‘waiting for the right time’. Out of respect for him, I’ve held off. We don’t go to our parish every week, because the mass schedule is kind of odd, (we go to the cathedral instead) so I often wonder if he has ‘addressed’ it a mass we didn’t attend there. I don’t want to offend him, but he really needs to speak up. This is a middle to upper-middle class suburban parish, so these people aren’t too poor to own proper church clothes, and the kids are well educated.
Sigh. I don’t know what to do. However, I think that problems with families (like the one I described) DO need to be addressed directly, but I don’t know how.
Any suggestions?
when I’d say “neb-nosed” or “neb-in”. Now he has started using it to.
