i can say from my point of view, that my family may have said those things about me many times. that i lashed out, was rude, that i said that i hated them all from time to time and that i made them miserable. but maybe i had a different situation than your family. when i was only about ll years old, my mother began growing angry towards me, because i tried to patch up a tear in the family between her and my fathers sister. my mother hated my fathers family, and it made my father absolutely miserable. being a child, i thought that i could fix things. little did i know that she would replace the feelings that she had for me with a resentment. she began pushing me away. my mother is from a culture that is not European.where she comes from, if someone is ousted from the family, they are actually sent away. i was sent out of my house for hours at a time, and left to fend for myself on the streets. i was allowed to come into the house at night to take a bath and eat and go to bed, but i never received any phone calls growing up, i never was bought school clothes, i felt guilty for every stitch of food i put in my mouth, and to make it worse, i was a beautiful, talented girl, who grew up singing like a sparrow, because music was the only thing that i had to keep me sane. the more beautiful and talented i became, the more she and my less attractive sister managed to make up every type of untruth you could imagine to spread thru the community that i grew up in. i lived just as much at my friends house as i did my own. through the years, my mother cycled in these “lies” she made up lasting in usual cycles of 3-5 months that i had to endure, which usually involved her convincing my father were true. my sister on the other hand, lived lies that lasted in cycles of 2-3 years, that i endured all for the sake of being a good Christian, and trying to get along with them. it turned out that my sisters husband ended up being the town wierdo, stalking one of my sisters friends that weren’t my friend because lets face it I don’t have any friends, and from whom i spent most of my life in fear of that i may have the in opportunity of getting caught alone with. i even became so enraged by his advances at one point that i spatted it out to my neglecting father. i finally decided that the little game was over when his advances were toward my lovely daughter who never in 23 years would believe me, and my 32 year old son, well, after years of my complaining and torturous hell has come to think it all a hallarious joke. but let me tell you, the way i look at it, we only go round one time here, and i have given my sister, my mother, my father and my brother in law 35 years of opportunity to straighten up and fly right, and since they can’t seem to do it, I have two beautiful children, and four beautiful grandchildren who i plan on enjoying every moment i can with, and when this ride is over, and we all join our march on into eternity, i hope to be right there with the family that loves me, and who has appreciated me, and has filled my life with joy and comfort.
