How to discern if you're called to religious life

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patdowling

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Welcome to this discussion on how one understands if they’re called to religious life or not. I’m asked this question often as a vocation director for the Sisters of Bon Secours.

It’s not always easy to know where to begin when God begins to nudge you gently and you begin to think of religious life. Am I called, who me, why me?

Where do I begin, do I really want to know? A process called discernment is listed below (its good to have a spiritual director or vocation director to accompany you in this).
  • Begin with an attitude of openness and inner freedom (be open to what God desires for you).
  • Clearly define what the issue is: What are you really looking for? Am I called to religious life or not? That’s the question.
  • Gather data: know yourself (strengths and weaknesses) and background, ramifications of your decision, facts about orders and how they live, their mission, etc.,go to a community’s Come & See vocation weekend, get all information.
  • Take time for prayer and list advantages (pay attention to your personal fears and doubts. Where are you resisting?
  • Allow time to pass and again in prayer, list your disadvantages (notice your affective response).
  • Raise good questions, tap into your imagination and draw from Scripture: Where do you experience peace? Does the answer seem appealing? Does it feel right? Is there peace? Joy?
  • Ask yourself where you have experienced God in the process so far.
  • Make a tentative decision/choice
  • Get confirmation - live with the decision for two weeks. Ask, what feelings are stirred? Peace? Doubt (this is typical, but its good to talk with a spiritual director or vocation director about it).
  • If there any serious reservations and you are feeling disturbed by it, then talk about it with a trusted person who can be objective.
Does this resonate with you? Do you need help in looking at the question of religious life and if God be calling you to this life? What do you want to do about it?

Sr. Pat Dowling, CBS (Vocation Director for Sisters of Bon Secours
bonsecoursvocations.org
bonsecoursvocations.org/contact-us/vocation-office/[/email]
 
Discernment to the religious life must be done with the aid of a spiritual director.

It will be an individual process, while there may be some common elements to everyone’s discernment it will still be an individual thing.

Also I can not answer your poll as what I think about it was not an option and again, I think it will be an individual answer for each person discerning rather than some easy common answer for everyone.
 
I agree with you that it’s going to be different for everyone. I know for me personally, being an external processor, I talk to others about it. Not just my spiritual director and my parents but also to other young women discerning and to sisters that I’ve met. But the thing that has helped the most in my discernment is Adoration. That’s when He speaks to me most clearly.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
 
The best response that I can give comes when I put on my habit. Our habit is grey. I’m always reminded that I was called to live a life of penance. The grey reminds me of ashes and Ash Wednesday. My journey was part of God’s plan for me.

First he called me to be a husband and father. When I had fulfilled those obligations, he took my wife to heaven and called me to the penitent life of a Franciscan Brother of Penance. Later I was to see the pain and agony of abortion with my own eyes. I also saw the cruelty of euthanasia. Within the call to be a Franciscan I heard another voice calling me to serve Jesus by protecting him from the Culture of Death. Gradually more men began to feel the same call. We have organized into a small private partnership that serves expectant fathers, cares for the children who are born to poor parents, sit up at night with a person who is dying praying them home and making sure that they are loved until the very last minute of life.

I believe that God called me the night that my wife died. I saw the value of life and I saw the miracle of death. We often contemplate on the miracle of life, but we rarely think about the miracle of death. But it is truly a miracle. We who are sinful are invited one last time to allow the mercy of God to embrace us and take us home. All we have to do is say, “Remember me.” This is what the good thief asked Jesus on the cross. “REMEMBER ME when you get into your kingdom.”

God called me through the mystery of my family’s death to remember him and help others to remember him as well. My call had a flow to it. One piece led to the next and the next and here I am.

How do I discern? I have no idea. For me it has all been a process. I just prayed and trusted. There were two women who were very influential in my life: Elizabeth Ann Seton and Teresa of Calcutta. Elizabeth and I had many things in common: converts, widowed, parents and educators. Teresa and I also had something in common: a call within a call, a call to see Christ in the distressing disguise of the vulnerable threatened by the Culture of Death. The call of these two women resonated with me. I knew that I had heard the voice of God.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
JReducation said:
The best response that I can give comes when I put on my habit. Our habit is grey. I’m always reminded that I was called to live a life of penance. The grey reminds me of ashes and Ash Wednesday. My journey was part of God’s plan for me.

First he called me to be a husband and father. When I had fulfilled those obligations, he took my wife to heaven and called me to the penitent life of a Franciscan Brother of Penance. Later I was to see the pain and agony of abortion with my own eyes. I also saw the cruelty of euthanasia. Within the call to be a Franciscan I heard another voice calling me to serve Jesus by protecting him from the Culture of Death. Gradually more men began to feel the same call. We have organized into a small private partnership that serves expectant fathers, cares for the children who are born to poor parents, sit up at night with a person who is dying praying them home and making sure that they are loved until the very last minute of life.

I believe that God called me the night that my wife died. I saw the value of life and I saw the miracle of death. We often contemplate on the miracle of life, but we rarely think about the miracle of death. But it is truly a miracle. We who are sinful are invited one last time to allow the mercy of God to embrace us and take us home. All we have to do is say, “Remember me.” This is what the good thief asked Jesus on the cross. “REMEMBER ME when you get into your kingdom.”

God called me through the mystery of my family’s death to remember him and help others to remember him as well. My call had a flow to it. One piece led to the next and the next and here I am.

How do I discern? I have no idea. For me it has all been a process. I just prayed and trusted. There were two women who were very influential in my life: Elizabeth Ann Seton and Teresa of Calcutta. Elizabeth and I had many things in common: converts, widowed, parents and educators. Teresa and I also had something in common: a call within a call, a call to see Christ in the distressing disguise of the vulnerable threatened by the Culture of Death. The call of these two women resonated with me. I knew that I had heard the voice of God.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
Click to expand...
Wow, what a beautiful and powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing that. It really touched me quite a lot.

JMJ+
~ Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
 
I do love your advice. As one who is as of yet baptized non-denominational Christian and finds that I may in fact be experiencing such a call I pray a lot. I always am careful to ask if this is what God wants for me or if he has another path in mind. I used to find it odd I had no desire for earthly men, I never have dated, aside from the normal celebrity crush (which I know heartily is unattainable), I just do not have that desire. It is a hard choice in and of itself and I feel only God and a reliable aide may be able to lead you on the right path. Weighing the costs are also vital as some, like me, may realize it is best to keep such inclinations secret from family and friends or risk a strong rebuttal (which I have in fact seen once my senior year of high school).
 
Dear Duchess,
Thank you for your comment. And thank you for taking the question of what God could be calling you to in life directly to God. You may also want to chat with a spiritual director who can help you in discernment - a call to a spiritual center or retreat center and asking for a referral may be of help to you.
It is a process and one that takes time - it unfolds usually as we live our lives. Being intentional in asking God about a direction in life through prayer is essential if you want a faith response. You may want to read about religious life if this is something you wonder about, and if you haven’t been baptized you may want to talk with a parish priest about your doubts, concerns and hopes.
Only you can determine what and when to share something with your family or others. Don’t let yourself be pressured until you are comfortable with what you want to do.
I hope this helps. I’ll keep you and all who are searching to know God’s desires for them, in prayer.
Peace
Sr. Pat
 
So, how do you know. Is it a “feeling” a “yearning”???
I have studied the Diaconate to attempt to determine if this is a “calling” And it seems as though group congratulates me and another attempts to tell me to slow down. I sit in the middle wishing “Gods will” would decide for me. My heart tells me I am on the right track but, the well meaning people telling me to slow down have me wondering. There is no greater desore I feel in my heart than to be closer to God. So what do I do? Be more patient.
 
JerrySeibert said:
So, how do you know. Is it a “feeling” a “yearning”???
I have studied the Diaconate to attempt to determine if this is a “calling” And it seems as though group congratulates me and another attempts to tell me to slow down. I sit in the middle wishing “Gods will” would decide for me. My heart tells me I am on the right track but, the well meaning people telling me to slow down have me wondering. There is no greater desore I feel in my heart than to be closer to God. So what do I do? Be more patient.
Click to expand...
I always say, “Trust God. Close your eyes and jump.”

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
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