How to discern whether to homeschool our middle school daughter

[carmelitenovice]

Hi:
The title pretty much says it all. We have a daughter in sixth grade in a Catholic school. The school goes through eighth grade and we had planned to keep her there through graduation and then homeschool her for high school.(Catholic high schools here are way too expensive and provide too little “Catholic” kwim.) I had mentioned it too her and she is on board with it,

However, I happened to learn about a new homeschooling opportunity in a neighboring district. When I mentioned it to her, she got very quiet and eventually said, “Mom, I’ve been meaning to ask, but could we try homeschooling next year.”

Our daughter was diagnosed about a year ago with arthritis and it’s been harder on her than we realized. She cannot keep up with her classmates physically and it frustrates her at times, especially of course in gym. For this and other reasons she does seem to be by herself much of the time at school. She seems happy enough at home.

I brought the matter up briefly with our associate pastor and he suggested (making it clear he wasn’t just saying it because it is the parish school) finishing what we start and also there needs to be a serious reason for pulling a child out of a school, not just a whim.

I agree, but I wonder if the child’s unhappiness and increased academic possibilities (for a girl whose grades and standardized test scores are through the roof) are serious enough reasons.

I should mention her older siblings (now in college) did graduate from the school and attended public school. I’ve long had homeschooling on my mind but never actually did it. Our public school is okay but very small. I’m also wondering if I’m just burned out on this particular school – we’ve had children there for 17 years now.

Other than praying and reading a whole lot more about it, any suggestions?

Thanks in advance.
I

 

[EasterJoy]

Your associate pastor might have been referring to a tuition commitment that parents are typically asked to sign as part of the registration packet. The school has to agree to a release from the tuition contract.

Your associate pastor, however, cannot appreciate the day-to-day difficulty your child is going through. If he did, I don’t think he’d refer to the daily trials that arthritis poses for anyone, let alone a middle school student, a “whim”. Your child, OTOH, knows. If she would like to withdraw from conventional schooling ASAP, see if you can make that happen. I think she will appreciate it very much, no matter how things turn out down the line.

 

[tabycat]

Your associate pastor might have been referring to a tuition commitment that parents are typically asked to sign as part of the registration packet. The school has to agree to a release from the tuition contract.

Your associate pastor, however, cannot appreciate the day-to-day difficulty your child is going through. If he did, I don’t think he’d refer to the daily trials that arthritis poses for anyone, let alone a middle school student, a “whim”. Your child, OTOH, knows. If she would like to withdraw from conventional schooling ASAP, see if you can make that happen. I think she will appreciate it very much, no matter how things turn out down the line.

 

[Catholic1954]

You are the parent and if homeschooling your daughter next year is in HER best interest, then go ahead and do it. You don’t have any obligation to the parish school to keep her there if she will be better off at home. Your associate pastor may have misunderstood your reasons to take her out, but it is really up to you and your husband to make the best choice. If homeschooling doesn’t work out for her, you can always send her back to school.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

A health reason like arthiritis is a very legitimate reason to withdraw from an away-schooling option (Catholic, public, etc.) Speak to the principal at the school and see what your options are. Pray and talk it over twith your husband and daughter.

I’ll be praying for you!

 

[superamazingman]

A health reason like arthiritis is a very legitimate reason to withdraw from an away-schooling option (Catholic, public, etc.) Speak to the principal at the school and see what your options are. Pray and talk it over twith your husband and daughter.

I’ll be praying for you!

very true. I would find it hard to believe that if it was for a health reason, you couldn’t find some reasonable arrangement with the administration of your current catholic school.

See what you can do. You’re in my prayers!

 

[Cath4life]

We only have our children with us for a short time and why not give them the best possible choice for The Glory of God??? IMHO, Homeschooling is the best option during these challenging times.

There is so much support for middle school and high school. There is even virtual Catholic School. I have a state virtual school and the dual enrollment for my son’s high school education. I chose to teach him Catholicism at home to keep our costs down. There are so many different options out there. It’s wonderful:thumbsup:

Some resources for virtual catholic school
lphrc.org
gracecatholic.org
csk12life.com

I leave you with some words of wisdom to help you discern about the right educational choice
The first link is Fr Hardon and the 2nd link is from Pope Benedict on education

therealpresence.org/archives/Education/Education_001.htm
love2learn.net/benedictxvioneducation.htm

Blessings to you and your family

 

[SonCatcher]

Could it be that the associate pastor misunderstood your intent that this was for the next academic year? You are planning something for 7[sup]th[/sup] grade, not January (which would certainly seem more whimsical).

At any rate, you definitely need to attend to your daughter’s needs. I’m sure that if she considers the friends she would miss, the decision would likely be even more difficult for her, but likely not less obvious.

I recommend you connect with homeschooling families in your area before determining what route to follow. The neighboring district’s opportunity might not provide what you need or another might be better still.

 

[Allegra]

I think you should check out the homeschooling program and decide if it’s best for your daughter. It probably isn’t the best idea to pull her out mid-semester. I’d let her finish the year, unless she is is major distress over her physical ailments.

 

[peacoat]

Your daughter has a disability and therefore may be eligible for an in-home tutor paid for by the state. That may be worth looking into.

There is also the issue of being able to handle her disability if it causes depression and for her to withdraw. Right now she is able to keep up in some things, she has interaction in the classroom, though not in the gym. Homeschollers many times gather over non-acedemic field trips. She may not be able to keep up and would also become an outsider, though there are many sensitive children who would be more accomidating than the average public schooler.

Since she’s an advanced 7th grader you could also check out classes at a local community college. I’m not kidding. A basic intro English class, intro PSY, LIT, would all be things she could tackle if she focused much of her energy during a term. This would give her the ability to keep up with peers if intellectually.

I disagree that homeschooling is the best possible option, no school ever is. For advanced students who love biochemestry or robotics or theater, homeschooling just may not be up to par as a local school. Same with disabilites, one parent on here was dead set in homeschooling her daughter until she found out her daughter was deaf, the educational support of the deaf school was so tremendous that it couldn’t be disregarded.

Personally, I believe in home/montessori until puberty, separate gender religious based prep education in middle and specality high school where a student can explore art, music, science and math so they don’t waste time in college.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Your associate pastor might have been referring to a tuition commitment that parents are typically asked to sign as part of the registration packet. The school has to agree to a release from the tuition contract.

Your associate pastor, however, cannot appreciate the day-to-day difficulty your child is going through. If he did, I don’t think he’d refer to the daily trials that arthritis poses for anyone, let alone a middle school student, a “whim”. Your child, OTOH, knows. If she would like to withdraw from conventional schooling ASAP, see if you can make that happen. I think she will appreciate it very much, no matter how things turn out down the line.

This!

You are the parent and if homeschooling your daughter next year is in HER best interest, then go ahead and do it. You don’t have any obligation to the parish school to keep her there if she will be better off at home. Your associate pastor may have misunderstood your reasons to take her out, but it is really up to you and your husband to make the best choice. If homeschooling doesn’t work out for her, you can always send her back to school.

And this!!!

We only have our children with us for a short time and why not give them the best possible choice for The Glory of God??? IMHO, Homeschooling is the best option during these challenging times.

There is so much support for middle school and high school. There is even virtual Catholic School. I have a state virtual school and the dual enrollment for my son’s high school education. I chose to teach him Catholicism at home to keep our costs down. There are so many different options out there. It’s wonderful:thumbsup:

Some resources for virtual catholic school
lphrc.org
gracecatholic.org
csk12life.com

I leave you with some words of wisdom to help you discern about the right educational choice
The first link is Fr Hardon and the 2nd link is from Pope Benedict on education

therealpresence.org/archives/Education/Education_001.htm
love2learn.net/benedictxvioneducation.htm

Blessings to you and your family

And especially this!!!

Do what is right for YOUR family, at this point in time. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, says, or does. YOU are raising YOUR family and it’s up to you to do what’s right for your daughter. It sounds as if homeschooling would be a relief and a blessing for her.

 

[Cath4life]

For advanced students who love biochemestry or robotics or theater, homeschooling just may not be up to par as a local school. .

I’m not sure what state you live in?? In Florida, we have access to any drama and robotics clubs that are available to local high schoolers. Personally, we have not missed out on being in robotics, math clubs or drama?? Dual enrollment and virtual school provide a lot of high level honors courses as well. We also have homeschool co-operatives that offer all sorts of electives.

Blessings and Peace,

 

[LightBound]

I’m not sure what state you live in?? In Florida, we have access to any drama and robotics clubs that are available to local high schoolers. Personally, we have not missed out on being in robotics, math clubs or drama?? Dual enrollment and virtual school provide a lot of high level honors courses as well. We also have homeschool co-operatives that offer all sorts of electives.

Blessings and Peace,

Appears to be a new member who is stirring up stuff on each thread he/she is posting on.

 

[peacoat]

I’m not sure what state you live in?? In Florida, we have access to any drama and robotics clubs that are available to local high schoolers. Personally, we have not missed out on being in robotics, math clubs or drama?? Dual enrollment and virtual school provide a lot of high level honors courses as well. We also have homeschool co-operatives that offer all sorts of electives.

Blessings and Peace,

Most states aren’t like that, and even so, the whole idea of dual enrollment can mean that a parent turns into a bus. If that’s your choice that’s good for you, but it’s not reality for every. If you have a nearby (walking distance) school that’s nice, but many people are in more rural areas with seasons that prevent easy transit.

Still, my point was that homeschooling isn’t for every child. Period. I absolutely stand by my statement that every child, even an academically average child in a 2 parent family of average intelligence will be best served by homeschooling. Sometimes, private or public schools are just better options for that child. Not all the time, but your statement was that all children are better served by homeschooling. It’s simply not true.

 

[Cath4life]

Sometimes, private or public schools are just better options for that child. Not all the time, but your statement was that all children are better served by homeschooling. It’s simply not true.

I think you misunderstood my statement. I am not just talking about academics. I am talking about values and morals (“For the Greater Glory of God”). We are part of a very secular society and most schools are a reflection of society’s “Culture of Death”. Including some Catholic Schools (at least in my area). We are in spiritual warfare and most homeschool families have different priorities: 1)God 2)Family 3)Work… Academics are important, but not a priority…

Blessings and Peace,

 

[peacoat]

I think you misunderstood my statement. I am not just talking about academics. I am talking about values and morals (“For the Greater Glory of God”). We are part of a very secular society and most schools are a reflection of society’s “Culture of Death”. Including some Catholic Schools (at least in my area). We are in spiritual warfare and most homeschool families have different priorities: 1)God 2)Family 3)Work… Academics are important, but not a priority…

Blessings and Peace,

Ermmm. To say that Homeschooling is for the Glory of God and implying Public schooling is lesser is rather haughty.

First, not all homechoolers are christian. It’s nice to be in a group of Christians, but of homeschoolers I met in uni, two were christian, one was an athiest and one was a wiccan! Homeschooling is not innately godly.

Second, there are many Godly public shoolers. At the seminary not far from me there are a couple dozen young men. None were homeschoolers and less than 1/4 reported comming from local Catholic schools. There are many good, holy familys who choose public schooling and to imply otherwise is beyond insulting, even though I didn’t even attend.

Yours is the attitude that makes people dislike and shun homeschoolers and perpetuates myths about isolationism. It really isn’t ok. Homeschooling is just an educational option for some parents…that’s all it is. It is not moral good.

 

[EasterJoy]

We only have our children with us for a short time and why not give them the best possible choice for The Glory of God??? IMHO, Homeschooling is the best option during these challenging times.

There is so much support for middle school and high school. There is even virtual Catholic School. I have a state virtual school and the dual enrollment for my son’s high school education. I chose to teach him Catholicism at home to keep our costs down. There are so many different options out there. It’s wonderful:thumbsup:

Some resources for virtual catholic school
lphrc.org
gracecatholic.org
csk12life.com

I leave you with some words of wisdom to help you discern about the right educational choice
The first link is Fr Hardon and the 2nd link is from Pope Benedict on education

therealpresence.org/archives/Education/Education_001.htm
love2learn.net/benedictxvioneducation.htm

Blessings to you and your family

I think this article discusses the matter very nicely: this is the parents’ duty and the parents’ decision.
catholiceducation.org/articles/education/ed0224.html

Having said that, sometimes we are not the best possible choice as our child’s day-to-day school teachers. There is absolutely nothing in canon law or anywhere else that implies that Catholic parents ought to homeschool where it is possible, particularly when a parochial school is available. The Pope wasn’t homeschooled, the Pope before him wasn’t homeschooled, and probably no Pope for who knows how long before that was, either. There are not many schools today where the teaching is all done by priests and religious, but there are still good Catholic schools out there that are the best option even for the very pious and capable Catholic parents.

As the article above points out, it is the prerogative of Catholic parents to decide which means of fulfilling their duty to give their children a Catholic education best suits their situation and best fulfills their duties to pass on the faith. So while I think it is possible that in some particular area homeschooling could be by any objectively measurable means far the best option for those who can do it, it does not follow that this is the situation everywhere that the Catholic faith is taught. There are parents who cannot teach their children as well as their parochial school can, not in the facts of the faith and not in other aspects of what kind of education they can provide, that is just a fact, too.

Let’s face it: Some parents are entirely unsuitable as middle school teachers and some kids have faults in temperament that keep them from accepting instruction from their parents. (I say “faults” because I am assuming it is a fault to stubbornly refuse instruction from anyone who has the capacity and authority to teach you.) Those are the most common reasons that a less-than-perfect Catholic school situation is made a legitimate first choice.

I know many homeschoolers that say this: One of the reasons that homeschooling gets a bad name is that it simply doesn’t work for some families for reasons that are no one’s fault and yet the children suffer because the parents are too ashamed to admit they can’t force their plan to work. Just as you should not let what other people think deter you from pulling your child from a parochial school when it is the best thing to do, a parent should not let vanity or the judgment of others force them to keep up with homeschooling when it is not working as well as the available alternatives. It is possible, after all, to pursue a choice not for the glory of God, but because the parent covets the reputation among the local pious that comes from being an ardent and successful homeschooler. That would be a sinful failure in responsibility, rather than a service to it.

But all this is a bit moot when it comes to the OP. Her daughter’s situation is no comment on the relative value of either choice for the “typical” student, because her daughter is atypical in some very important ways. In her situation, I would strongly consider homeschooling even if the Catholic school was entirely excellent in most respects. It is worth trying, and as I wrote earlier, I think her daughter will thank her for trying, no matter how it works out.

 

[peacoat]

Thanks for the backup Easter,

I’m not sure it’s a moot point beucase the implication that homeschooling is better is a guilt trip that I don’t think the mother needs on her plate. There are options like in-home tutoring paid by the state, or even better accomidations for the disabled child.

I actually would think a through psych exam by a homeschool friendly (but not pushy) licensed psychologist would be in order before any parental decisions. In the very least, regular psych help to deal with a crippling disability. My fear is that on such a homescooling supportive board the parent may pull her child out due to guilt and not what’s best for her child. A child at home with a crippling disability could easily grow very depressed and isolated, as well as be in more pain as she’s not forced to move around from class to class. (excercize helps mitigate some arthritis symptoms.) She’s a 13yo who’d be at home all day with mom and watch her sibilings go off and do things. It’s not ideal even in the best of scenerios.

 

[SonCatcher]

Ermmm. To say that Homeschooling is for the Glory of God and implying Public schooling is lesser is rather haughty.

First, not all homechoolers are christian. It’s nice to be in a group of Christians, but of homeschoolers I met in uni, two were christian, one was an athiest and one was a wiccan! Homeschooling is not innately godly.

Indeed. Some non-Christians actually choose homeschooling because they perceive too much Christian influence in the public schools.

 

[peacoat]

Indeed. Some non-Christians actually choose homeschooling because they perceive too much Christian influence in the public schools.

HAHA that’s so true. My college friend J, the atheist, was pulled out of public school in 1st grade when they sent home homework in which she had to color several symbols more indicative of Christianity and Judiasm. (reindeer, menorah, Christmas tree, angel). There was a candle or star or something and she embellished with Qiziquotal or some other anchient god. The teacher gave her an F because it was “supposed to be about the holidays” and she replied that she was celebrating all made up religions. The teacher refused to bend…and so she was homeschooled…as with her sibilings and she was in athiest homeschoolers clubs growing up.