How to do deal with rude priest?

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Blue_Rose

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So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
 
That is extremely bizarre.

I am sorry that happened to you.

I would suggest going in with the expectation that you will confess your sins, receive absolution and a penance, and will not receive any sort of yelling or dressing down from the priest.

I would also suggest that if something bizarre does occur, this time you won’t be so caught off guard. You can calmly say, “Father, those aren’t my sins, here are my sins…” and then if for any reason absolution isn’t forthcoming, say, “Father, will you please give absolution and a penance now”.

If worst comes to worst, just remember that it isn’t personal against you, priests are human too, and you have nothing to be SCARED of. Just ask for absolution and penance.

If bizarre behavior continues, I suggest you talk to him outside the confessional. It’s a huge problem that he is going on about someone else’s sins in the confessional with you. He should make no presumptions that he “recognizes” someone by their voice.
 
That is quite odd, he sounds misguided. The best thing to do is pray for him. Could you go to a different priest to hear your confession?
 
Priests can be difficult.

We had one at our church when I was a kid, and honestly, every time we were lined up to go to confession the nun would pull me out of the one line and put me in the other line where this priest was.

I had difficulty articulating some things, since he asked questions I didn’t know how to answer. He told me I was going to Hell. That is a new one, accusing you of someone else’s sins. It’s bad enough to have your own.

See you there! (yuk, yuk,and more yuk!)
 
Blue_Rose said:
So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
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That is truly bizarre.

My suggestion would be to pray for your confessor before you go in, whoever it is- pray that the Holy Spirit will guide him, help you to make a good confession, give you good spiritual guidance and a penance that is appropriate and will help you.

If something like this happens again, I would go to the bishop to discuss. It sounds like this priest has you confused with someone who he thinks doesn’t take confession and the need to amend their life seriously, and is trying tough love- the “see ya!” comment makes me think that’s his way of tossing you out of his confessional…but the fact that he has the wrong person is very distressing. Maybe go face-to-face, next time.
 
Pray for him like you would an enemy. That has helped me with all manner of problems.
 
Blue_Rose said:
So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
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In my case it wasn’t with regard to confession, but back when I was still attending Mass, I simply left the parish and attended at another. Couldn’t you simply go to confession at another parish where the priest would not be?
 
Wear a cowboy hat into the confessional and he will think your THE LONE STRANGER. Seriously, a priest can also have bad days and that may have been one for him on that particular day. If you are fearful perhaps try going to a different church or priest. very rarely we can run into a nasty priest-individual. Pray for such priest for they are probably not happy in their vocations. You have my prayer. BTW-see ya!😃
 
Blue_Rose said:
So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
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If this is just a priest, and not the pastor, I would discuss the matter with the pastor. Not only will he be able to provide you with some guidance and support, but he should also know what other priests in his parish are doing.
 
Blue_Rose said:
So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
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I heard a priest say in a sermon,
“Do not make.yourself go back to confession to a priest who (no judgement on him) Does not have.the gift.of being a good confessor.” (shouting at you, getting cross with you, etc…)
“Find yourself a better confessor.”
 
MaryHelp777 said:
I heard a priest say in a sermon,
“Do not make.yourself go back to confession to a priest who (no judgement on him) Does not have.the gift.of being a good confessor.” (shouting at you, getting cross with you, etc…)
“Find yourself a better confessor.”
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While I tend to agree, sometimes people do not have a choice due to living in areas where only one priest is available. I have found though, that God does speak through imperfect priests. (not speaking to MaryHelp777 but in general) Pray for your confessor before you go to confession, that God will give him the light to read your soul and to give you the counsel that God wants to give you. Then listen to everything he has to say, even if he begins by making some unjust assumption about you or misinterprets what you confessed or counsels you about something you did not do. Eventually, if he is attentive to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit, he may give you some knowledge that was meant especially for you. And be at peace. Remember it is Jesus that speaks to you through the priest. If he does not give you any just counsel, and you are confident that you did your best in making a good confession, then do not let it worry you. Pray for the priest. He may need your prayers.
 
Thank you for the replies. I’ve decided I’ll attend a different parish for confession on Saturday instead.
 
Great choice, Blue Rose. Find a parish where you can find a good confessor.
 
Blue_Rose said:
So at my parish there’s a priest and for some reason he once mistook me for someone else at confession, and started yelling at me for something I hadn’t done, I told him that wasn’t me and he said “oh just tell me your sins” and then after I did he just goes “see ya!” And let me walk out! No advice, didn’t absolve me… I reconfessed with a different priest but because I’m going to confession again tomorrow I’m scared it’s going to be him!
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I am sorry for you. This is uncalled for. In a parish where you do not have any choice of priest to choose from, it will certainly affect one’s spirituality. To be afraid of going to Confession is the last thing that a Church wants it to be.

I guess it’s going to another parish in to order to avoid worsening the situation.

God bless.
 
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