How to dress for church

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Hello,

I think it’s very sad that there are a good number of people who go to church in such sloppy clothes. They wear shorts, tank tops, flip-flops, and think nothing of it. I found an article that better explains how I feel:

Jun 9, 2009
“Culty of Casualness” in Church Dress?
The dress of people attending Mass has been deteriorating for years and now it seems, it has reached catastrophic proportions. There seems to be a “cult of casualness” in our dress.
Why do we dress up for weddings, funerals and (white collar) jobs? To honor those whom we love or those whom we serve. Love doesn’t make honor and respect unnecessary, it fosters it. Most married couples know that when familiarity and comfort in a marriage crowd out honor and respect, trouble follows.
“But comfort is a good thing and we like to be comfortable." Yes, that is true but not at the expense of love and reverence. Comfort is for the self, love is for the other. We must make a choice.
In the past, dressing up often had an element of pleasing the other. Now pleasing the self has taken precedence. Our society has been called a “culture of narcissism.” Those who have unconsciously bought into this philosophy will often bristle at the suggestion that they dress better for Church.
Some say God cares about the internals not the externals. But if that were the case we would not build beautiful Churches, wear beautiful vestments and listening to beautiful sacred music (ie. chant). Even the poor Cure d’ Ars and the simple Francis of Assisi strove for the fine vestments and altar linens. These are all ways of showing God we acknowledge his greatness and reminding ourselves of the same. Does it make sense to spend millions building magnificent Churches and then wear jeans, shorts or T-shirts for Sacred Liturgy? When we dress this way, does not our body language to God and others say, 'The Mass is not so glorious, and neither is God?"
In Sacred Scripture the Lord says, “Worship the Lord in holy attire.” (1 Chr. 16:29, Ps. 29:2) And the Cathecism of the Catholic Church states that our gestures and clothing “ought to convey the respect, solemnity, and joy of the moment when Christ becomes our guest” in Holy Communion. (CCC 1387)

Yet some object saying the Bible says, “rend your hearts not your garments.” (Joel 2:12) yes but is also says, "It is love I want, not sacrifice.’ (Hos 6:6) Yet we still have the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and we still find the apostles rending garments in the Acts of the Apostles. God is not saying these external things are rejected, but that they are useless without interior conversion. In fact, dressing properly for Mass, or even going to Mass, means nothing if we have no love in our hearts.

Let’s battle this “cult of casualness” by dressing in our best to worship our Thrice Holy God. Let us interiorly and externally “worship the Lord in holy attire.”

eiram
 
Excellent article!

I was listening to The Prairie Home Companion awhile back, and Garrison Keilor was talking about how some of the Lutherans in Lake Woebegone had started wearing casual attire simply to prove the point that God loves us regardless of what we have on externally. It was quite similar to what I’ve heard many people in various faiths say.

I sat and pondered all of this, and came to the conclusion that I wear my “Sunday best” to mass not because I worry that God’s love for me will falter if I don’t, but because when you love someone then you want to do special things for him.

I go out of my way to tell my husband of my love for him, and do special small things for him all the time. Is this not similar? If I don’t work on my relationship with my spouse, then bad things are bound to happen, even if his love for me never falters.

This holds true for my God as well. I don’t want to ever take His love for granted, and showing up to His most holy banquet in inappropriate attire, the banquet that He has specially called me to, seems to be pushing those boundaries.
 
I tend to bear in mind the parable of the Wedding Guests where all the invited guests declined to come and the command was given to bring anyone into the wedding feast. After the crowd had gathered, some were found to not be dressed in wedding attire and they were thrown out of the feast. The Mass is a great feast where God is sharing Himself with us, should we not dress appropriately for His feast?
 
Well, we have to understand, that some people are not as affluent as us and cannot afford the nicest clothing.

However, flip flops, short shorts, spaghetti strings. It’s kind of offensive. A lot of these clothes are also expensive, like Hollister and A&F (which are morally offensive companies anyways). So there is no reason you could buy a decent outfit for Church instead of these. I am one of the very few who wears a suit at my local parish. When I go to the Latin Mass parish it seems like it is everyone.
 
I tend to bear in mind the parable of the Wedding Guests where all the invited guests declined to come and the command was given to bring anyone into the wedding feast. After the crowd had gathered, some were found to not be dressed in wedding attire and they were thrown out of the feast. The Mass is a great feast where God is sharing Himself with us, should we not dress appropriately for His feast?
You do understand that the meaning of the story had nothing to do with outer garments, right?

Jesus was trying to tell us to get our SOULS ready for His coming…which is my priority when I attend Mass. I make sure that I am ready to receive Him by getting there early for Confession or a Rosary before Mass. As for outer garments, neat, clean and modest are my only rules.
 
You do understand that the meaning of the story had nothing to do with outer garments, right?

Jesus was trying to tell us to get our SOULS ready for His coming…which is my priority when I attend Mass. I make sure that I am ready to receive Him by getting there early for Confession or a Rosary before Mass. As for outer garments, neat, clean and modest are my only rules.
But as others have said, the issue is PREPARING for and doing your best for the time at “the wedding feast”. I was raised Baptist and I remember my dad talking about the discussion because some of the younger (30ish) men wanted to be able to wear turtlenecks and not suits and ties. I also remember hearing discussions at times about “accepting people where they are”. I guarantee you that every man in shorts has a pair of long pants and every girl in shorts, flip flops and spaghetti straps has something more modest and covering to wear. Alot of people have lost the understanding that we should treat mass as at least as important (dress wise) as a job interview.
 
Hello,

I think it’s very sad that there are a good number of people who go to church in such sloppy clothes. They wear shorts, tank tops, flip-flops, and think nothing of it. I found an article that better explains how I feel:

Jun 9, 2009
“Culty of Casualness” in Church Dress?
The dress of people attending Mass has been deteriorating for years and now it seems, it has reached catastrophic proportions. There seems to be a “cult of casualness” in our dress.
Why do we dress up for weddings, funerals and (white collar) jobs? To honor those whom we love or those whom we serve. Love doesn’t make honor and respect unnecessary, it fosters it. Most married couples know that when familiarity and comfort in a marriage crowd out honor and respect, trouble follows.
“But comfort is a good thing and we like to be comfortable." Yes, that is true but not at the expense of love and reverence. Comfort is for the self, love is for the other. We must make a choice.
In the past, dressing up often had an element of pleasing the other. Now pleasing the self has taken precedence. Our society has been called a “culture of narcissism.” Those who have unconsciously bought into this philosophy will often bristle at the suggestion that they dress better for Church.
Some say God cares about the internals not the externals. But if that were the case we would not build beautiful Churches, wear beautiful vestments and listening to beautiful sacred music (ie. chant). Even the poor Cure d’ Ars and the simple Francis of Assisi strove for the fine vestments and altar linens. These are all ways of showing God we acknowledge his greatness and reminding ourselves of the same. Does it make sense to spend millions building magnificent Churches and then wear jeans, shorts or T-shirts for Sacred Liturgy? When we dress this way, does not our body language to God and others say, 'The Mass is not so glorious, and neither is God?"
In Sacred Scripture the Lord says, “Worship the Lord in holy attire.” (1 Chr. 16:29, Ps. 29:2) And the Cathecism of the Catholic Church states that our gestures and clothing “ought to convey the respect, solemnity, and joy of the moment when Christ becomes our guest” in Holy Communion. (CCC 1387)

Yet some object saying the Bible says, “rend your hearts not your garments.” (Joel 2:12) yes but is also says, "It is love I want, not sacrifice.’ (Hos 6:6) Yet we still have the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and we still find the apostles rending garments in the Acts of the Apostles. God is not saying these external things are rejected, but that they are useless without interior conversion. In fact, dressing properly for Mass, or even going to Mass, means nothing if we have no love in our hearts.

Let’s battle this “cult of casualness” by dressing in our best to worship our Thrice Holy God. Let us interiorly and externally “worship the Lord in holy attire.”

eiram
Well, my best clothing is pretty casual, actually, since I rarely have to get dressed up to go anywhere. I don’t need to dress up at the place I work.

But I follow the same rules my kids have to follow at school: No Spaghetti Straps or Tube Tops. No Flip Flops. No shorts/skirts higher than two inches above the knees.

Sticking within those guidelines is pretty safe, so long as the clothes are clean and unwrinkled.
 
It is simply disrespectful to walk into Church dressed as you would to go to the beach or other sporting activity. I have attended Mass in a parish in Orlando FL, where the pastor has placed easel boards of acceptable attire in the narthax of the church.
 
Another two cents- my maternal grandmother was a domestic and my paternal grandfather worked in factories and my grandmother was a housewife and beautician. Her parents (I was blessed to know that set of great-grandparents), had worked as a domestic and laborer. They were all of modest means and all of them wore basic work clothes everyday. I remember my one grandfather going straight to the landing to change out of his work overalls and boots, which were always dirty, to his home clothes. Even with their modest means they always dressed well on Sundays. My grandfather and great-grandfather wore suits an ties and my grandmothers and great-grandmother always wore a nice dress. They were protestant, and they did not have much money, but they understood that they could afford one nice set of clothes to wear on Sunday or other special occasions.

I have always kept to the practice of dressing up on Sunday. It is not fancy or expensive, but I have 6 other days to wear denim or more casual clothes.
 
My FSSP priest often puts a notice in the bulletin about how to dress modestly for Mass:
Code:
Based on the principle that clothing is meant to conceal rather than to reveal, please dress modestly, even in warm weather.
Code:
Men and boys: please wear full length pants. Shorts and sleeveless shirts are not appropriate for Mass. Remove your ball cap before entering the Church.
Code:
Women and girls: dresses should reach well below the knee when sitting; shirts should cover the chest up to the collar bone. In your charity, avoid tight shirts, sleeveless blouses and tank tops. Finally, if pants are worn, they should be loose-fitting.
Consider this:*“A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper.”
  • –The Cardinal Vicar of Pope Pius XI
This fits with Our Lady’s words at Fatima, “Certain styles and fashions are being introduced which gravely offend My Divine Son.”

St. John Chrysostom also warned against immodesty in the fifth century:
"You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that you never invited others to sin. You did not, indeed, by your words, but you have done so by your dress and your deportment, and much more effectively than you could by your voice. When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges in court punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death-dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body, but the soul. And it is not to enemies that you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity, nor provoked by injury, but out of foolish vanity and pride."
 
Hello,

For those who say that dress clothes are just too expensive these days, I agree with you…that’s why I don’t go shopping in the major department stores anymore. I go to thrift shops. There are many thrift shops that have beautiful dressy clothing for everyone in a family: women’s, men’s, boy’s, and girl’s.

Not all shops will have a good selection and you will need some patience to look through racks, but beautiful and elegant clothes can be found there. Prices can vary depending on the shop, but they can range from $ 3.99 - $20.00 for a woman’s suit. If any of you like real bargins, look up and go to as many thrift shops as you can. I always wash any clothing I buy at thrift shops before I wear it.

I’m sure some of you will not even want to think about buying something that is used and people have been trying on before you got there. Think of this, how many people have tried on what ever pieces of clothing you find at Macy’s, Nordstrom’s, or Sak’s 5th. Ave.? You have no idea how many people wore the item before they decided they didn’t want it. It’s somethink to think about. I like looking my best for my Lord in his house.

eiram
 
The posters above me that said that you don’t need to spend a lot to dress nicely for Mass are absolutely right. I picked up my favorite skirt at a garage sale earlier this year, with the tags still on it! It cost $1.

I make sure my skirts and dresses are knee length and to make less modest dresses work I usually pair them with a camisole under and a sweater over them. And my head’s covered by a hat or a veil in Church. I make sure my shoulders are covered (usually to my elbow).

While we don’t need to dress to the nines to enter a church, we should at least cover a bit more, and dress (and act) respectfully. That’s my take on it anyways! 🙂
 
But as others have said, the issue is PREPARING for and doing your best for the time at “the wedding feast”. I was raised Baptist and I remember my dad talking about the discussion because some of the younger (30ish) men wanted to be able to wear turtlenecks and not suits and ties. I also remember hearing discussions at times about “accepting people where they are”. I guarantee you that every man in shorts has a pair of long pants and every girl in shorts, flip flops and spaghetti straps has something more modest and covering to wear. Alot of people have lost the understanding that we should treat mass as at least as important (dress wise) as a job interview.
It still has nothing to do with clothing. From that attitude we get the “Sunday Fashion Show” where everyone is more concerned about watching what everyone else is wearing and making sure that they have the same fancy clothes. I went to a parish in NJ where the main topic of conversation at coffee hour afterwards was what designer bag this woman had and “did she get that at Talbots?” and “I just know that’s an Armani suit!”. If you polled 10 people, 8 of them probably knew more about who wore what then what Father’s sermon topic was.

If everyone simply made sure that they were clean, modest and neat for Mass and then used the rest of their energy preparing their souls, we wouldn’t have to have weekly discussions about clothing.
 
It still has nothing to do with clothing. From that attitude we get the “Sunday Fashion Show” where everyone is more concerned about watching what everyone else is wearing and making sure that they have the same fancy clothes. I went to a parish in NJ where the main topic of conversation at coffee hour afterwards was what designer bag this woman had and “did she get that at Talbots?” and “I just know that’s an Armani suit!”. If you polled 10 people, 8 of them probably knew more about who wore what then what Father’s sermon topic was.

If everyone simply made sure that they were clean, modest and neat for Mass and then used the rest of their energy preparing their souls, we wouldn’t have to have weekly discussions about clothing.
We attend Mass at least twice a week and talk with everyone afterwards and I’ve never heard anyone discuss dress.

However I was distracted at tonight’s Confirmation Mass, which was said by our Bishop (a big deal for a small parish) by many of the barely clad girls and women (most of the men were in suits despite the heat). One of the girls who was confirmed was in a tank top and mini skirt!

I agree with you that dress should be modest. I think that’s the problem most people have with casual dress. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting dressed up to go worship God.
 
Got this book called Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond which addresses this issue.

It’s on ongoing struggle for me these days since I’m still learning to sew and have decided to make my own clothes, for now, due to the expense, immodesty and lack of quality in a lot of women’s clothing.

I think women, especially, are being disrespectful of men when they dress immodestly/inappropriately at church -or anywhere for that matter.

And we’re going to see our God and creator at Mass. How could we be so offensive by not even dressing accordingly?

just my two cents, thanks for listening…
 
Today I wore pants. Gouchos or whatever they’re called. Tried a skirt and a dress before but they didn’t fit properly.

Am noticing people’s dress at Mass. Today, both men and women were in jeans (Low Mass – TLM), women wore pants, women had more than half of their upper arms uncovered.

Something else I want to bring up with this thread, I have seen overalls at the TLM and I don’t mind if people are in scrubs or a work shirt (gas station or grocery store) and black pants or jeans. That’s not why they’re at the Mass and good on them for understanding that this IS obligatory and WANTING to come and making time to fit it into their schedules.
 
Hi, my name is marge and I’m looking for one of your dear little sisters. Her name is Noelle and she is a Catholic Apologentist who posted on a selular board with us for almost three years and the board was shut down without notice.

I want to make a main post about it and give a shout out to her but don’t know how.

And she can find us here. 🙂

boards.msn.com/UKNewsboards/thread.aspx?threadid=1211129&BoardsParam=page%3d3%26HIPDelay%3d1%26PostID%3d32017679

Thank you nice people and May God Bless You Richly.
 
To much worry, fear & anxiety is created by ‘what to wear’.

Judge not…

As long as he or she feels modest & respectful in his or herself it will be reflected in the relationship with God.

Only guidelines are of help.

God Bless, Graham
 
I think the reason that people of all denominations of Christianity (except I suppose, if you consider them Christian, groups like the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses) are starting the dress less and less reverently at church is because church services are becoming less and less reverent. I mean, I went to a church almost every week a year or so ago where the Pastor himself wore jeans. Also, beyond things like that, churches are starting to open bookstores and coffee shops inside the church (that particular church had both) and those, along with similar things, cause people to view the church as a meeting place and not as a place to worship God. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against churches being used as meeting places and places to see friends and make new ones, but church services should not be turned into those.

Anyways, as far as buying nice clothes, I once got an entire suit (tie, jacket, shirt, pants) at Goodwill for like $20 or $25.
 
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