I have a couple questions, maybe someone can answer for me. First off, I will let you know that I am a convert (8 years Catholic) and one of the major problems that I have heard of (and seen in some churches) is the belief that if you aren’t “dressed up”, you shouldn’t be at mass. First off, not everyone has the ablility to dress up. I have a friend who had 12 brothers and sisters growing up, and all his clothes were hand me downs. Needless to say, they weren’t in very good shape, and while attending mass one day (he always stayed in the back so as to not draw attention to himself), a parishioner told him that he shouldn’t be at mass dressed like that and sent him home. He didn’t return for over 20 years. I believe that God judges the heart, not the appearance. I do agree that some things are inappropriate, but I wanted to ask about somethings in particular, as it seems these rules were instituted by man, not because it lacks any reverance.
1- Why MUST women were long skirts? What is wrong with a nice pant suit? Or jeans. Your legs are covered, and as long as the pants aren’t painted on, not distracting either.
2- What shouldn’t men were jeans?
3- Would it be better for someone to attend the mass in jeans, or pants for a woman or not attend mass at all because they aren’t “dressed”??
4- What is the problem with women having long hair? I keep reading about the long hair and how if a woman isn’t veiled, she needs to cut her hair short??
Thanks for your responses as I am interested in hearing!
Your questions have to do with a) culture and b) judging yourself only (well, yourself and those you are in charge of dressing).
St. James was very clear about not treating people badly if they showed up dressed poorly, nor treating them better if they showed up in rich clothing. Obviously, you do the best you can for yourself and treat everyone the same…which is to say, with love.
What is and is not modest is a cultural thing. The Popes have said as much.
There are places on the planet where a woman can wear what would be a shocking shortage of clothing here in the US, and it would be within the standards of what modest women wear there: young, old, wrinkly, or smooth. It would not be considered provocative by anybody, including the adolescents.
Likewise, however, there have been (and are) places and times where a woman who does not do some serious covering up is going seem to be trying to draw undue attention to her body (or the glory of her beautiful hair). If she isn’t wearing a dress, she will not be wearing women’s clothing, but men’s. In such a place, a woman in jeans is a major distraction.
There is nothing magic about heavy cotton pants dyed with indigo dye, except the history of that particular kind of pants in some particular place. There are places where you can wear jeans anywhere, including nice restaurants, and places where jeans are strictly work clothes. There are places in-between, where new jeans are OK, but faded jeans are too casual. It depends, and times change. Likewise with sandals. In some places, they are for the beach. Other places, the queen will wear them at her coronation.
Back in the day when God truly was the only one that anyone was trying to please, Adam and Eve wore nothing at all. They were innocent, and they were fine. We have abandoned innocence since, however. Our Lord and Our Lady didn’t wear clothes because they lacked innocence. They did it because they knew that the rest of us did, just as they observed the rules of ritual purification that had nothing to do with the actual state of their own souls. In a like way, we have to concern ourselves with what will be distracting to those we worship with and what will lift our own hearts to the solemnity of the most awesome ritual and reality that the world has ever seen.
Mass isn’t a time to worry about the choices of everyone else, but it also isn’t a time to think in terms of “good enough.” It is a time to put forth whatever effort is in our reach to put forth. For some of us, that might even mean wearing much
less costly clothes than we can afford, in interest of making those who can’t afford such things more at peace. It might mean going without a veil in a place where all wear them and the one woman who doesn’t is treated badly on that account. It might mean trying a veil where no one else wears one, and keeping it up because you pray better that way. It might mean wearing slacks because you know that jeans bother some people, and you have the slacks. It might mean realizing how some men struggle, how they are bombarded with sexual messages day in and day out, and bringing the hem down the next time it is time to buy something new.
In the end, how we choose to dress is like anything else we do as Christians: it is all about love. It is about doing our best to consider the needs of others and what elevates our own heart towards God.
Sometimes, when we are around no one who has asked us, it is about minding our own business, too. On a forum like this, though, the question was asked, so everybody can put his or her two bits in, which is kind of nice, too. It helps in opening up our minds to what opinions are out there, realizing how differently what we do may be experienced by others, and deciding what we want to do in our own situations.
) to look as if they were already old. This is why some places with dress codes just ban blue jeans. It saves the squabble of whether they look “old” or not, which is a gradual process. Black jeans, OTOH, can hold their color very well for a much longer time.
… I know some diehard Chicago Cubs and St. Louis Cardinal fans, for example, that might get riled up seeing other people sporting the attire of the rival team 
(I’m being a little tongue in cheek here but you get the idea)